Feeling incredibly left behind - Fertility Network UK

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Feeling incredibly left behind

KDA0510
KDA0510

We have four beautiful blastocysts waiting on ice for us in Greece and were due to have a transfer in Feb. But due a logistical nightmare because of covid, we’ve decided to delay this until Spring when hopefully travel to Greece should be bit less stressful.

But I am just feeling so sorry for myself 💔 I have a best friend who is currently pregnant and due in March, I’m part of of an IVF community on Instagram and the influx of pregnancy / birth announcements on there seems to have just sky rocketed.

Most days, I feel okay but I’ve just come off Instagram to yet another natural bfp announcement 😞

I feel so ashamed but I’m not even happy for them. I want to be, but I’m just not. I feel jealous, sad, heartbroken, empty. I wish I had a crystal ball that would tell me if this will ever work out for me? Will any of our 4 blasts take? We will not be pursuing fertility treatment after these frosties so the pressure is on. It all just feels so out of reach at the moment and I can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel 😢

11 Replies

Ow I’m so sorry you feel this way.. I can only imagine the frustration of not being able to travel and having to delay your transfer 💔

I can totally relate to feeling left behind and what you’re feeling is understandable. When others fall pregnant, either naturally or via successful treatment and you’re still struggling, it can make your heart hurt that it hasn’t yet happened for you.

It doesn’t make you a horrible person, it makes you a person with a warm heart and so much love ready to give to someone who isn’t there yet. There’s something Chandler says in the adoption scene in F.R.I.E.N.D.S that gets me everytime and it’s that “she’s a mother without a baby” - I smile when I think of that because it’s so true and it’s one of many reasons why this journey is so emotionally tough.

Keep strong..🤍💫 xx

KDA0510
KDA0510 in reply to XOXO13

Thank you for your kind words XOXO13 💛 I think we all have those days, don't we? I am usually quite positive and try not to let anxiety creep up on me, but we are all human. And lockdown just makes it all feel worse.

And I absolutely love Chandler & Monica's storyline in FRIENDS - I still to this day will cry at a lot of the scenes regarding their TTC journey in the show.

Much love x

I completely understand how you feel, I'm struggling recently too, all of my tests have come to a stop and I just feel helpless and can't seem to find it in me to be happy for others. But stay focused on what's to come, you have spring to aim for just don't let the current black cloud block your view of the end in sight x

KDA0510
KDA0510 in reply to LillyZL

Thanks Lilly and I'm sorry you've been struggling recently too. It's worse when it feels like the wheels are in motion for everyone else but you. Like you have said tho, I need to just keep focused on our FET and do my best to keep positive. I've even decided to have a social media break (FB + Insta). Sending you the best of luck and hope you can start your treatment again soon xx

It’s incredibly hard for you. I have been there and had to come off social media for the same reasons. Life just seemed so unfair. Once I did have a break from it I concentrated on me and doing ivf. We went abroad too. You will go to Greece stay positive and your dreams will happen. Look after number 1.

This covid thing is getting to everyone but it won’t toast and sue the time to get fitter and healthier so you feel so ready for the transfer.

Wishing you all the luck in the world xx

KDA0510
KDA0510 in reply to Missy_22

Hi Missy - I have decided to do just that. I think the social media detox will do me a world of good. And you are right, just like the other ladies who have posted, I need to just focus on that FET in Spring and use this time to prepare as best as I can to be reunited with my embryos. Thank you :) x

I'm so sorry you feeling this way.im in my my forties and had 5 ivf failed cycles paid over 40 to 50 k ,each time my family members fall pregnant or have babies,I have that pain that I can't hideRecently I had my last transfer and it failed I'm devastated as that was a last chance. So you not alone atleast you have saved embro.

KDA0510
KDA0510 in reply to Eesa1

Hi Eesa, I'm so sorry to hear about your last transfer not working, especially that it was your last chance. I completely acknowledge how privileged I am to have 4 embryos, I hope I wasn't coming across ungrateful, I didn't mean to offend. Sending lots of love and peace to you as I can't imagine how difficult the decision must be to draw a line with IVF. xx

Eesa1
Eesa1 in reply to KDA0510

Thank you hun .I'm grateful for the support on here.goodluck to you hun.im sending prayers your way.x

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Aw KDA0510 sorry you’re feeling down! Everything you feel right now is completely and utterly understandable and relatable ! I have 2 close friends due feb/March and I am incredibly happy for them particularly as one has been through this journey too but that doesn’t take away the fact that you feel so empty myself at times and wish you were at that stage!

It’s hard and it’s okay to feel this way, with the way the world it right now it’s so much worse isnt it it! Reading your replies below you sound similar to myself, generally keep positive, try to look at everything in a glass half full light but it does creep up on you! Let it out feel all the emotions you want to feel and then get back to it, back to being you being positive and looking forward to spring because what’s to come it’s super exciting and although we don’t have those crystal balls it’ll be an experience to remember, one that hopefully gives you your baby! I would definitely recommend a break from socials, I come off of them this time last year and it had been a blessing honestly - don’t miss it one single bit!

I’ve got 5 little Frosties waiting, hoping to have a transfer in my next cycle so likely March time 🤞🏽

Roll on spring for you x

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