BFN 😢 Not ready to give up!!

[SianieShorts]

I’ll be 39 in May and started this journey in 2014. I was diagnosed with unexplained infertility. We were very blessed in 2018 and had our son by our first IVF cycle. We then had 2 frozen embryos which were recently transferred and yesterday BFN 😢

We had always said that if the frozen embryos weren’t successful, then we would just be eternally grateful for having our son and draw a line under trying for any more children.

My husband still feels this way but I don’t! I really don’t want to be greedy but I’m feeling very sad and alone today...

Sorry 😞

Can anyone relate? X

[AJJ123]

Yes completely understand. I’m about to embark on my second journey. Husband wasn’t totally onboard the first time, which was unsuccessful (we do have a child through normal conception). This time around it’s taken a lot of persuading. It’s not greedy at all, it’s completely natural. X

[SianieShorts in reply to AJJ123]

Thank you for replying...it helps to know people are going through similar, though I don’t wish this on anyone 😢.Good luck on your journey x

[DianeArnold Partner Nurse Fertility Network UK]

Hi SianieShorts. Looks like you’ve had a good shot at IVF so try not to beat yourself up if you decide to stop further treatment. Lovely to hear you have a perfect son to enjoy and watch growing up. Try and have a chat with your husband, so that you are together on this. Seek some counselling too via GP if you need to.

[SianieShorts in reply to DianeArnold]

Thanks Diane x

[BelfastGirl83]

Not at all selfish-it’s normal and natural to want more children. I have two wonderful boys but I would love a third! Your yearning to have another doesn’t diminish how much you love and appreciate the child you already have. You will know when it’s time to close the door on it if that’s what you choose. Men seem to be better at rationalising these sorts of decisions. Take your time to consider it all xx

[SianieShorts in reply to BelfastGirl83]

Thank you for replying/...it definitely makes me feel less alone. Good luck on your journey, I hope you get your dream x

[Maui2020]

Hi sianie, can completely relate! We were also blessed with a son in 2018 and had 5 frozen embryos from the successful cycle. We always had the thought that from those 5 there would be a sibling. Unfortunately they all failed. And here we are doing a fresh cycle, something we never imagined, following repeat varicocele surgery. It’s been hard to let the dream go. I know it’s not the same as the first time we did Ivf and the devastation that we felt when it failed. But you’re certainly not greedy, it’s just the same natural instinct as the first time. Just take the time to process and then have a chat with your husband. If you’re both onboard just go for it x

[SianieShorts in reply to Maui2020]

Thank you for replying. This forum is so good when you are feeling alone. I hope for you so much that this fresh round works for you. Please do let me know.I think you’re right, for us it is early days since the BFN and we need to process that. I do feel strong enough to go again but lots to take into consideration.

Take care x

[Savs]

I can completely relate , I’m 40 in March and I have a 3 year old from fresh ICSI cycle.. I had 2 failures after that via FET and just wanted one more try and if not was going to be getting my head around a family of 3, which as you said we are so grateful for. But the yearning/vision paid off and this last cycle resulted in twins!!! I’m 12+2 and so glad we carried on. Go for it I say! Good luck lovely x

[SianieShorts in reply to Savs]

This is so encouraging to hear! Just what I need...congratulations on your BFP and here’s to a happy and healthy pregnancy! Thank you for replying. Take good care xx