Do we continue?

[bbti]

Just after some thoughts please. I've recently finished my 1st cycle on the NHS, one fresh transfer and one frozen. 1st ended in a miscarriage after 8 weeks, 2nd was a BFN.

The question now is should we do another cycle (1 remaining on NHS) and if so what should be done differently? Should we pay to go private? I'm 38 and my partner is in his 50s. The odds of success are getting lower due to our age and I just feel that two failed attempts is a sign that things aren't right with the embryos 😔

I'm after some advice if possible please. I'm sure plenty of people have been in this situation. What help you make a decision? The clinic have said we can pay for additional test if we want. What worked for you to result in a BFP?

Thank you in advance x

[fay2399]

I say because your partner is 50 try to pgd testing on the embryo. Then you won’t have concerns about abnormality 😘 good luck 🤗

[bbti in reply to fay2399]

Thanks Fay2399. I think that is something that we would definitely do if we decide to go ahead.

[fay2399]

I feel the same .. hope third time works for you ❤️

[LCharlton]

Hi BBTI - there are loads of reasons why your two transfers might not have worked out, do you have more information about what was going on with your embryos earlier in the cycle? How many eggs did you have collected, how many fertilised, how many made it to day 3, how many made it to day 5 and what grade were the ones you transferred and froze? These sorts of details could help you start making more educated guesses about whether you might have issues with egg quality, sperm quality, implantation, etc etc and where it might be useful to ask for more tests - although given your partner's age I think it could be helpful to have the DNA fragmentation in his sperm tested if they're willing to do this xx

[bbti in reply to LCharlton]

Thanks LCharlton for your reply. We had 11 eggs collected, 6 fertilised and we ended up with 2 embryos, one of which was frozen. They were a 5BB and a 5BC. I have discussed DNA testing of sperm with the clinic and it would be an option. x

[LCharlton in reply to bbti]

Your results actually sound pretty good! (Eg, we have definite sperm problems, and from 12 eggs collected we had 3 fertilise and 1 make it to day 5 but it was too early to grade.) The frustrating thing about IVF is a lot of the time it just doesn't work and we're all hanging in there hoping to be one of the percentage of times that it does. Do go for more tests if there's anything you want checked out, but a certain amount of this is just luck and it sounds like there's nothing going massively wrong, so it could be that with another cycle you'd be lucky. My fingers are firmly crossed for you whatever you decide to do x

[Sas1101]

Hi bbti I'm sorry to hear of you MC and BFN. Your situation is very similar to mine. I'm 38 and oh 49, we've had one fresh and one FET on the NHS and both ended up as chemical pregnancy. I feel exactly the same that things aren't right with embroys. I have been offered some tests via the NHS but privately, however, there is a long waiting list for this. I was offered NK cells and Ricky blood testing, ERA and PGT on remaining frosties. However, we've decided to use our last try on the NHS before any investigations as I we have two remaining blasts in the freezer. If this doesn't work then we may go privately and get all the tests done.

The main factors in making our decision was that we are funded by the NHS for another transfer and we could start straight after our last FET in August. There will also be a waiting list for a private clinic to start any investigations or cycles so would get on the wait list in the meantime.

Is there a wait list at your NHS clinic or can you start straight away? If you're worried about time then it may be worth considering that in making your decision. I'm an advocate for the NHS as I work for them, so if was me and you can get free treatment and not have to wait I would go with that. Best of luck. Xxxx

[bbti in reply to Sas1101]

Thanks for your thoughts Sas1101. They have said we can start straight away with my next period in the NHS clinic so I think that is really good advice. xx

[Sas1101 in reply to bbti]

I'm sure you'll both make the right decision 💕 xx

[magda22]

Another cycle on the nhs, if available, might be good. Things fail on private cycles all the time, its not a guarantee of success. Have you made lifestyle changes to improve sperm and egg quality and possibly boost chances - supplements, diet, cutting out toxins, some people do acupuncture, etc. There is lots of info about this if you're interested, the book It starts with the egg is very thorough.

Of course you need to do what you think will give you the best chance so if you feel the care you received so far was poor standard, you might feel better about switching. Much love and luck x

[bbti in reply to magda22]

Thank you magda22. Wise words! Will have a look for the book. best wishes xxx

[Hidden]

Im in the similar situation despite a couple of years younger. One cp and one mmc. What ive learned from this lovely group is that age is not always a factor. I do want to use my remaining cycle because it doesnt work trying naturally for us (clearly after 3.5 years of active trying) so i think even if it is 2% chance i will take it. The main thing for me is i think waiting times etc. If a clinic has a waiting list that would make me consider changing and i have considered private. Did you have your follow up? My consultant said its just a numbers game and you can continue untill one sticks. My clinic doesnt offer extras but he did say he considers to up my stims this time around. Follow your heart lovely and i hope the rest can give you some points re additional tests xxx

[bbti in reply to Hidden]

Thanks Mimisami. Yes, I had a follow up appointment on the phone this week. The doctor said it comes down to emotional resilience. He said I responded well to the meds and produced a good number of eggs/embryos/good lining so up to us if we want to continue x

[magda22 in reply to bbti]

That's actually a very honest and useful comment from the doctor about emotional resilience. I always found time out, if possible a little holiday, and lots of care for yourself and your partner left me able to consider going back into the ring. So do somethimg nice for yourselves. Xx

[Hidden in reply to magda22]

As magda said and what i ment, have a think and listen to your body. You can wait a few cycles and take as long as you need x

[Hopeful28]

I had three fresh and one frozen transfer. My frozen (3rd attempt) ended in miscarriage around 13 weeks. My 3rd fresh cycle only had two embryos so bad quality they couldn’t even grade them and I now have a perfectly healthy 2 year old from they poor quality fragmented embryos.

Although I was devastated after my miscarriage, I also looked at the positive. I did get pregnant, something I never thought I could. I was 36 at the time. This is why we tried again and so glad we did.

Nothing is guaranteed in the fertility world but my successful attempt was private. I was changed to the flare protocol (from long protocol with NHS) and the private consultant told me to take DHEA as meant to help quality (though doesn’t look like it did for me).

[bbti]

Thanks for your reply Hopeful28. It's nice to hear of your story ending in a healthy child. x