First scan tomorrow and so anxious, expecting bad news for self preservation!

[Egilbertpatt]

I have my pregnancy viability scan tomorrow afternoon and I am so anxious, we have been here before and the news wasn't good, I miscarried at 6 1/2 weeks, I am terrified for the same outcome tomorrow, almost wishing I could freeze time and just be happy knowing I am pregnant! I know that's ridiculous and I need to know one way or another, but this process is so cruel and emotionally exhausting and I can't help but prepare for bad news! Any tips or advice on how to manage the outcome if it is sad news...?

[LCharlton]

Such a hard place to be in - good luck!! I don't know if this helps at all but when I was dealing with a threatened miscarriage (which later did materialise), it helped me to realise that there was a strong chance of things going wrong, but to feel hopeful that it might be ok because at that moment hoping was the best thing for me to do. Because obviously if things go wrong that'll be awful - but if it does happen then you'll get through it, and that's not the place you're in today so why put yourself there when you don't need to? Right now, you can do your best to feel ok and remind yourself there is plenty of hope. As my grandma used to say, "there's no use borrowing trouble" and "where there's life there's hope" xx

[Egilbertpatt in reply to LCharlton]

Thank you it's true....I don't know anything but just feel I should be prepped for bad news might, but obviously still hoping for the opposite! We are tough ladies or wouldn't be going through this whole IVF process so either way I'll get through it! 🤞

[LCharlton in reply to Egilbertpatt]

You will xx

[jengi]

Oh lovely, I wish I had words of wisdom to ease your anxiety. Self preservation is sensible. I found it helpful to have a plan set out for after the scan so I knew what we were doing. I had plan A & B depending on the outcome. Both involved having a hot chocolate with marshmallows which I’d been craving for weeks! If it was good news we were going to go for a walk in a local woods for some Nature time. If it was bad news, I was going home getting into my pjs and binge watching a series to numb my mind. It helped knowing what I was going to do to cope, I guess taking back a tiny bit of control. The hot chocolate was AMAZING by the way! There is nothing you can do to change the outcome tomorrow. I had a little mantra which I repeated ‘ I am calm, I am relaxed’ followed by ‘I’m a tough cookie, I can do this’. I never believed it but saying it often enough I think did have some effect. Honestly, we just have to try everything to get our anxious minds through. I’m hoping for good news for you but if not please believe you are strong enough to deal with this. Biggest hugs Xx

[Egilbertpatt in reply to jengi]

Thank you ❤️ that's definitely a good thought...plan a and plan b, I'll chat about that with my Hubbie this evening! You're right, I'm going to be brave and keep believing I can deal with whatever lies ahead. Xx

[Martiesgirl]

Just wanted to say I'm thinking of you today. I know how it feels but just remember you've come this far and you are so very strong. Looking forward to hearing your good news later xxx

[Egilbertpatt in reply to Martiesgirl]

Thank you for your kind words - I am telling myself I am strong enough for this, hoping it sinks in! Will post an update later on, I am being realistic but at the same time remaining hopeful xxx

[Hidden]

Be positive and believe you are xx been told you got to put it out there to the universe xx went through the same as you in February this year had positive pregnancy test then at 6 week scan had a chemical miscarriage I was devastated but each time I go through things like that I learn more xx Be positive xx stay strong xx

[Egilbertpatt]

Okay so update on this is that it was good news today! Seen the little heart beat and all looking absolutely fine so far said the nurse! I'm very relieved and feel we have a fighting chance now of making it through, one hurdle closer anyway - thank you so much for all your kind words and advice, this site is such a comfort during these emotionally charged times xxx

[BroodySingle in reply to Egilbertpatt]

Congratulations 💞xx

[Martiesgirl in reply to Egilbertpatt]

So happy for you! Another milestone reached xxx