Hi everyone,
The last time I was on here I had just found out I was pregnant and was feeling anxious so decided to step away from the forum. Truth is I have been checking in on you all. With all this COVID-19 and clinic closures- I just had to see how people were coping. I am happy to see that some clinics are re-opening and I wish each and every one of you reading this all the luck in the world for your upcoming cycle.
I haven’t attached a picture- purely because scan photos have haunted my husband and I for the last 3 years. But I am happy to announce that I am 12 +4 days pregnant and we are due November. We are still waiting screening tests but the scan went really well. (After all this wait- my husband wasn’t allowed in for my scan- Dam Virus.)
I am not going to moan about how rough I have felt during the 1st Trimester as I know many of you would kill for a bit of morning sickness but one thing I can say out loud is- the worry never leaves you. I thought that as soon as I saw two lines on a stick, I’d be fine, how wrong was I!
Each week leading up to your 12 week scan is a milestone- the time drags and then when you have your scan you have to wait for blood tests and then your 20week scan and so on.
I am trying to enjoy my little bump and taking each day as it comes. Worrying won’t change what is to be.
I really cannot believe we have a miracle on its way- like this happens to other people not us!
I hope that nobody finds this post upsetting- I currently have my bestest friend in the whole wide world struggling to conceive after 2 miscarriages. I never thought the shoe would be on the other foot where I had to be sensitive. It’s normally me feeling sensitive.
This journey has taught me to be a more empathetic and a mindful person. It’s also taught me to be happy at the little things in life and to feel blessed now I am pregnant.
A nurse said to me the other day “Did IVF work 1st time then?”
I replied “Yes- we are very lucky!”
Then I stopped and said “Well actually couples that conceive naturally are lucky so I don’t know why I’ve just said that but it’s how I feel.”
Something else I’ve embraced is sharing my journey with others- when people ask about my pregnancy, I am very open that we had ICSI/IVF and makes our story special. People are more interested to learn what happens in a cycle and I have enjoyed sharing our journey. I hope that one day I can help/support others in some way. I won’t forget what we have been through.
I know every couples story is different. Initially it was a male issue. Then as we dug deeper my body wasn’t exactly the most fertile either. When people ask now “who was the issue then” I reply with- “both of us, we both needed a little help.” My husband loves me for that I think. I feel I owe it to him because I said/thought some awful things to myself when I found out he couldn’t give me a baby. Truth is I wouldn’t want a baby with anyone else. The way he dotes on me, gets excited when my belly grows, looks after me when I’m feeling sick. We have been through so much and now we can breathe.
Believe your body is capable of creating a miracle- do what makes you happy and never give up.
Miracles happen when they are supposed to 🌈.