Looking for advice as the emotional rollercoaster towards ivf continues

[Rainbowdreams82]

Just looking to see other’s experiences. Had 6 unsuccessful IUIs and about to start IVF. Feeling pretty emotional with the rollercoaster but know we should remain positive. All closest people to us have either just had a baby or are pregnant. It’s definitely tough. How do people get through it all?

[amandac84]

Hello! I don’t have any magical answers all o can say is i sympathies. It’s a journey and a half, I would just say always put yourself first, don’t do anything that may upset you, try not to be hard on yourself and allow the emotions it’s ok to not be ok xxx

[Rainbowdreams82 in reply to amandac84]

Thank you for your good advice. Really nice to read in a time of need.

It’s definitely hard to always be strong and be ok when surrounded by friends and family constantly talking about babies and children. I feel I usually manage ok but have let the flood gates open and now finding it hard to close them and deal with life. 2 friends announcing their 12 weeks scan this week has thrown me into major meltdown. The thought of surviving work also seems impossible right now. Feel I need to get a grip and get on with it but know I need to think of me first too xx

[amandac84 in reply to Rainbowdreams82]

I hear you. The baby announcements are so hard as something you just can’t avoid. I’ve had two births and a prengnancy announcement during my tww.

It’s really not easy but just take little steps and when your having a good day give yourself credit and when your not that’s ok. Sending love. Reach out if you need a chat / rant etc any time I’ve found this forum so supportive and lovely xx

[RhinoCat]

Like you said, it’s a rollercoaster 🎢 and the babies everywhere really seems to strike right when you begin the journey . You just have to accept there will be high days and low days. And as I’ve been learning , a good cry helps and being kind to yourself matters so much .

This wall also really helps.

The happy stories give hope and the sad stories offer hugs of understanding so that you don’t feel alone . When do you start ivf ?

Hugs

Rhinocat x 💐

[Rainbowdreams82 in reply to RhinoCat]

Thanks you so much. Start IVF into May by the time we do tablets etc. I know we just need to be positive and keep going but right now it feels so hard xx

[RhinoCat in reply to Rainbowdreams82]

It is hard , time and motion will ease these feelings . You will be ok pet 💖💐😘

[Twiglet2]

It’s hard but IVF chances of success are greater than IUI so hopefully that brings some added hope! all we can do is try to stay positive as best we can but totally natural to feel angry/upset/impatient. Big hugs on your journey 🤗 and make time for yourself xx

[Rainbowdreams82 in reply to Twiglet2]

Thank you so much. I see you’re going through a fair rollercoaster of a journey yourself. I feel I hold it together most of the time but since 2 friends announced their 12 week scans this week it’s thrown me into a massive meltdown I’m struggling to get out of. I know I just need to try let it all out (although feel it’s never stopping)

I wish you well on your journey too xxx

[Twiglet2 in reply to Rainbowdreams82]

You too and if you need a rant or a moan feel free to message me 🤗 xx

[Miracle43]

I know how you feel. I’ve had 3 failed ivf and 1 failed iui. I’m currently doing my 4th ivf having my day 9 scan yesterday. I only have one maybe two follicles at most. Devastated. There are babies wherever I look and my sister in due a any day. It’s a roller coaster that doesn’t stop. Hoping for an improvement on the scan tomorrow.

[Rainbowdreams82 in reply to Miracle43]

Thinking of you for your scan. It’s just so hard every time isn’t it? Even if you tell yourself to not overthink or be stressed you subconsciously are thinking about it constantly. When someone says something or you get another knock from another announcement your wall just crumbles. Message me if you want to vent xx

[Miracle43 in reply to Rainbowdreams82]

Thank you so much for your kind message. You are so right, it just gets harder each time. When I went for my scan Wed eve I was so emotional, not only was there only 1 maybe 2 follicles,( there were 2 maybe 3 on Monday) there was only what they described as a "blob" in my lining, I was asked if I had been bleeding which I hadn't so that's part of the reason for another scan today. I don't know which way this will go. How are you ? x

[Nix321]

It is really hard. I have a friend in a similar situation which helps. We pick each other up when we are finding it hard. Have you tried counselling? I did some sessions last year (not through my clinic, but through my works Employer assist program) and found them surprisingly helpful. 🙂 it was similar things she said to on here, jealousy is a human emotion and it’s ok to feel it, doesn’t make you a bad person. Allow yourself to feel it espcially in the privacy of your home or express to your partner. Just keep focusing on your time will come, one way or another and think how incredible it will be 😊

Good luck on your journey and you can always come here to vent if you need to 😄

[Rainbowdreams82 in reply to Nix321]

Thanks Nic. Having someone else who understands is key definitely as most people try to get it but they obv can’t fully if they aren’t going through it. We have called clinic to see a counsellor so thank you for that. Hopefully that’ll help xx

[HemBella]

I've had 3 failed IUIs and now I'm halfway through my first IVF cycle, and Im petrified it wont work. You've just got to keep going, even when you think there is no point. If its something you want badly enough, which I have no doubt you do, you'll find a way to push through. I've been told IVF has better success rates than IUI, so keeping everything crossed xx

[Rainbowdreams82 in reply to HemBella]

Thank you. Keeping fingers crossed for you too. You’re right, we just have to keep on going & keep everything crossed 🤞🏼 xx

[ttcemmie]

How do people get through it? With difficultly, lol. It is a complete rollercoaster and there are good days and bad days (and some of them don't even have rhyme or reason). Advice? I find talking to people helps, being really gentle with myself (I have much lower expectations of myself now, in a good way, if that makes sense?), and avoiding pregnant people and babies where possible (I don't know how feasible that is). Welcome to the community. x