It’s ok not to be ok: I had a BFN last... - Fertility Network UK

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It’s ok not to be ok

hifer profile image
47 Replies

I had a BFN last week and am still feeling not OK about it. I thought I’d be fine by now bit am still struggling. I don’t want to be negative but wanted to post in case others felt the same way. It takes a while to get over these things so please don’t worry if this applies to you. I’m going to take my time and then we we will go again.

Lots of love to all xx

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hifer profile image
hifer
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47 Replies

Darling it’s absolutely fine to feel that way - I understand how you are feeling I really do and I must admit I cried/wonder why me but I took some time out and have now been through second cycle and got a BFP however told today the result is in my blood is 38 and on the low side so back in on Thursday! It’s such a tough journey but talking about it is so important xx you are not alone ❤️❤️❤️ Here if you need to talk at all

hifer profile image
hifer in reply to

Thank you and wishing you all the best for your repeat blood test on Thursday xx

in reply tohifer

Thank you very much lovely xxx

RhinoCat profile image
RhinoCat in reply to

Thinking of you Elle32inz 😘😘 anxious times 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻💖💖💖💖💐💖

in reply toRhinoCat

It really is - you think you get over one hurdle and then it’s another but that is the journey of IVF! The rollercoaster is takes you on but got to be thankful that made it this far - we do have some on freeze so not like the last tine we had nothing! It doesn’t make it easier but having all you wonderful ladies to talk to really does xx inspires me everyday. How are you? Xxx 🥰🥰🥰🥰

RhinoCat profile image
RhinoCat in reply to

I’m ok today , I’m like your last time, nothing in the freezer and staring down the track at the whole thing again 🎢🤯🥺.... think I’ll feel better when the dr tells me the plan . Right now I’m gathering my questions etc so as not to waste our review. Glad it’s tomorrow . Hopefully the dr won’t be too brutally realistic , my heart might break if he is . But if I cry on him I cry 🤷🏼‍♀️ I’ve told myself it’s ok to cry when ya need to, other people can just suck it up 😂🤣🤣🤣🤣

Hope ya have a better day today 😘💖💐💐.

UnicornKisses profile image
UnicornKisses

I’m so sorry to hear about your BFN. I too, had one two weeks ago. At this moment, two of my sister-in-laws are going into labor. It is a joyous occasion, but I can’t help being sad. It feels so selfish of me. Infertility is a cruel game that none of us signed up for. I will send positive energy your way in hopes that we will both, someday, be going through the joyous occasion of delivering a baby ourselves. xxx

hifer profile image
hifer in reply toUnicornKisses

I feel for you. My cousin, who is like a sister, is 14 weeks pregnant with her second. I started trying before she’d even had her first! It’s so tough xx

UnicornKisses profile image
UnicornKisses in reply tohifer

It is definitely tough, especially in the beginning of their pregnancies because they are so excited & want to talk about it. We are lucky to have a space like this where we can relate to each other. Sending you strength and love ❤️

in reply toUnicornKisses

You’re not selfish hun, you’re human ❤️I totally understand how you feel as I felt the same with a dear friend of mine. We’re just human. And one day we’ll be in so much pain while delivering our babies 😃😃😃🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻🍀🍀🍀🍀💋💋💋💋💋

UnicornKisses profile image
UnicornKisses in reply to

Haha as crazy as it sounds I can’t wait to be experiencing that pain!!

MrsH17 profile image
MrsH17

Yes it is okay not to be okay.

I felt the same when I had a failed FET but I just kind of embraced the sad feeling so I could feel sorry for myself then move on. That worked for me. I didn’t see people I felt like I couldn’t face and I did things that would make me happy. After a few weeks I was back to myself :)

I am someone that does that though ... I can’t just put things to the back of my mind and move on. My sister is the opposite she just ignores what’s going but then something small can happens and will have massive melt down🙈

We are all different but my opinion is deal with your feelings there and then so you can properly move forward.

Good luck for next cycle. When do you think you will? We are thinking of doing it again soon been to clinic ect but don’t have a start date yet

Xxx

hifer profile image
hifer in reply toMrsH17

Agreed. That’s what I’m trying to do. I haven’t got the energy to pretend anymore. We have our follow up tomorrow but I suspect we’ll go for transfer 2 in March xx

Leesara profile image
Leesara

Sorry to hear your news. Just wanted to reassure you it’s 100% ok to not be ok- it takes its toll. Please just reach out to others as/when u need to and be kind to yourself, giving yourself some time and space xx

hifer profile image
hifer in reply toLeesara

Thank you xx

Dear Hifer, take all the time you need and be kind to yourself. Sending you hugs 💞❤️ xx

hifer profile image
hifer in reply to

Thank you xx

amandac84 profile image
amandac84

It’s Absolutley fine and I can completely understand it’s a grieving process so take your time it took me a fair while too xx

hifer profile image
hifer in reply toamandac84

Thank you xx

RhinoCat profile image
RhinoCat

Standing with ya as I read my words come out your mouth 🤣

Please see my post Pooh, I’ll be your piglet . ☕️ 🍯

Sending hugs and standing with you as you navigate this hard stuff . It’s hard . Hard and stingy and swear words times 4352.

Honesty is my favourite , this journey is hard . 🤯🤬😳🥵

Massive hugs of understanding to you this night .

You just need some more time .

You will be fine in a bit, Just don’t rush the bit 😘💐💐💐💐💖💖💖💖💖 here if ya need me 😘I get ya 💖

hifer profile image
hifer in reply toRhinoCat

Thank you. Yes seemingly it’s ‘the bit’ that takes the time! Xx

Hi Hifer, I can so relate to your post. We had the same OTD I think and today it’s hit me hard, everytime I think I’m over it, I get reminded again and just start all over again. You are not alone, it’s so difficult but we have got this and we can do it! 💪💪🤗🤗

RhinoCat profile image
RhinoCat in reply to

Sending hugs to you too Pinkforever 💐💐💐💖💖💖💖💖😘😘😘😘 tough oul road ! 💐

in reply toRhinoCat

Thank you hun 💓💓. Crying myself to sleep as we speak but tomorrow is another day 🙏🙏

RhinoCat profile image
RhinoCat in reply to

Indeed pet, just so unfair ......let the tears flow. It’s actually allowed . Because I said 🤣 We came , we saw, we lost ...... tears permitted. Let them out . Massive hugs 🤗 tomorrow , we move on , but for now ..... ouch . Just ouch 😘😘😘💖💖💖💖💖💐💐💐💐💐😘

hifer profile image
hifer in reply to

Really feel for you. I know exactly how it feels. Sending love xx

in reply tohifer

Sending love back at you 💕💕 look after yourself

Thank you for this...I don't feel ok at all, but taking it one day at a time. We also started fertility counseling which was a MASSIVE help. Sending love xx

hifer profile image
hifer in reply to

Yes I think I need to book in for another session. Sending love to you xx

in reply tohifer

You too xx

Coral86 profile image
Coral86

It is so hard feel for you Def takes time to pick yourself back up again !! Look after yourself xx

hifer profile image
hifer in reply toCoral86

Thank you xx

Sending lots of love Hifer 💕take your time and a good care of yourself, no rush. Everyone has their own time and ways of recovering. Mine usually involves pizza 🍕😬

We are here and rooting for you! 🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕

hifer profile image
hifer in reply to

Thank you xx

RhinoCat profile image
RhinoCat

How are you this morning Hifer ?

Sending hugs 🤗 and ☕️ and 🍯 😘😘

hifer profile image
hifer in reply toRhinoCat

Ahh thanks for checking in. I’m ok thanks. Cancelled all my plans today and just watching Netflix!! Started a juice detox today which I do frequently and makes me feel better and going to head to the gym. Been self sabotaging quite drastically in the last week so it’s time to put all that to bed and prepare for transfer number 2! Thanks hun 😘😘xx

RhinoCat profile image
RhinoCat in reply tohifer

Sounds like the perfect day 😎 hope you feel better after the gym etc I’m still on the treat myself cycle which I plan to stop tomo after my review . Then I’ll join ya back on the fitness track 😘 I need to get back to my juices or at least up my veg intake to lift me. Nice to have a transfer two to look forward to🎉💐💖 have a fAb day 😎🎉💖💐

hifer profile image
hifer in reply toRhinoCat

You too hun. I’ve really not been eating well so it was well needed. We have our follow up appointment too tomorrow. Keeping everything crossed for you xx

RhinoCat profile image
RhinoCat in reply tohifer

Me too, total binge fest going on!

Oh brill , review sisters 👯 hopefully good news for all 🙏🏻😘💖💐

Solly-44 profile image
Solly-44

It’s so bloody hard 😔 Sending hugs. It will take time, but you will feel better than you do now. Take as long as you need, lean into the sadness a bit, it will help you heal xx

RhinoCat profile image
RhinoCat in reply toSolly-44

‘Lean into the sadness ‘ I’ve really learnt that I try to freeze and go! But leaning into it allows ya to feel and heal much quicker . You are right Solly 🤗🙏🏻💖💐

hifer profile image
hifer in reply toSolly-44

Thank you. I like that saying, very true xx

Cinderella5 profile image
Cinderella5

Hey, you're not alone! I have taken this one pretty hard too although Im starting to get back on my feet! You're right it does take time to get over these tricky times but we'll get there!!xxx

hifer profile image
hifer in reply toCinderella5

Oh hun I’m so sorry! Am with you all the way xx

ttcemmie profile image
ttcemmie

Awwww hifer. Sending love. The ups and downs of this journey are awful. Here for you and take all the time you need. Grief doesn't have a timeline. xxxx

hifer profile image
hifer in reply tottcemmie

Thanks hun x

Hartley1 profile image
Hartley1

We've all been there with our BFN, it's not nice. Keep going when you're ready but for now take it one day at a time (I used to hate that phrase but love it now) xx

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