Day 5 update - not great

[hoping-for-the-best]

Had an update on our embryos. One was doing really well, grade 1 which was amazing so I asked to have it put back on Monday at day 3 - currently in the 2ww with that one. The other two were more fragmented and grade 3, but one was dividing well and they seemed confident it could still make it. This morning they’ve given me the day 5 update and it’s not good news - neither one has made blastocyst. They are growing very slowly so they don’t expect anything to happen in the next 24hours.

Although we’d been told to expect lower quality embryos with surgically retrieved sperm, this is still gutting and makes me wonder about my side of things as we previously always made blastocyst with at least some. I’m wondering what it means for the one inside me, and what our chances are in future rounds if this fails. We’ll be looking at donor sperm next but I don’t even know if I’m capable now. Have no idea where to go from here xx

[Missy_22]

I’m so sorry your going through this! Grade 1 is really good so don’t give up on your little one inside you. Try not to worry about what to do next. Just relax and think positive for this little one xxx

[hoping-for-the-best in reply to Missy_22]

Thanks Missy, going to try some serious positive thinking to try and get the PMA back up. I know I need to be grateful for what we do have and just hope for the best xxx

[Lots8788]

Sorry to hear you're feeling like this. I agree with Missy. Wishing you lots of luck with this cycle xx

[hoping-for-the-best in reply to Lots8788]

Thank you, I appreciate it 🙏 This evening I spoke to my sister’s friend who went through 5 cycles to have her first and then went on to have twins. She told me of at least 2 people she knew who only had one 8 cell embryo at day 3 that went on to become babies, so it’s made me feel more hopeful. I think sometimes you can get caught up in the negative thinking and lose faith xx

[Lots8788 in reply to hoping-for-the-best]

Ah good,so nice to hear that. and that could very much be the outcome for you too! i always think it must be a better environment for them once theyre back in rather than in a lab trying to mimic things, so i know its easier said than done but try not to let the outcome of the other 2 impact your thoughts on this one thats inside. Ah yeah it so is. Then I don't know if you're the same but I then beat myself up about being so negative 😳🙄😂 have you got much planned for your 2ww? xx

[hoping-for-the-best in reply to Lots8788]

I know you’re right - it’s hard not to think about the other two but every embryo is different. It was definitely the right choice to transfer earlier, even if it makes the 2ww harder.

Yes it’s hard not to beat ourselves up - especially when people then say “don’t stress, it’s bad for the embryo” - so helpful! 😂

I’m just taking it easy but have some nice things planned over Easter. One of my friends who is a cancer survivor just had her baby through a surrogate so we’re going to visit them - it’s such a miracle story it makes me cry and although ordinarily it would be hard to visit a newborn, not in this case. They thawed out all their embryos and she was the only one to survive, so whenever I’m feeling sorry for myself I just think what they were going through knowing it was their only chance at having their own biological child. Miracles truly do happen 🙏😊🤞 xxx

[Lots8788 in reply to hoping-for-the-best]

Yeah good to have transferred earlier. Had they initially suggested putting that one in later at day 5 but then transferred earlier due to you asking? 😂😂 yeah so helpful...😳😐😂 omg that's amazing!! miracle baby indeed! hope you have a nice time visiting her and baby and lots of time to chill xx

[hoping-for-the-best in reply to Lots8788]

Thanks 😊 yes they gave us the choice as we’ve previously had success with reaching blastocyst stage and things can change a lot after day 3, for better or worse. I just wanted to give the best one the greatest chance so asked for the earlier transfer.

Have a lovely Easter break! Xxx

[Lots8788 in reply to hoping-for-the-best]

😊🤞🤞 thank you,you too xxx