12 week scan heartbreak: So we had our... - Fertility Network UK

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12 week scan heartbreak


So we had our 12 week scan on 2nd Jan and they couldn't find our baby's heartbeat. We are totally devastated. I was 12 weeks and 6 days at the scan, had had no bleeding or pain so thought we were out of the riskier trimester. Our baby only passed away around 12 weeks. They said there was a possible abdominal wall defect but they couldn't be sure due to its size. I had a surgical procedure yesterday and now feel so so empty and sad.

How do we move on? My partner has been totally amazing and so supportive xx

30 Replies

I'm so, so sorry to hear this, what terrible news. So heartbreaking xxx

Hi Ive been through this too went to my 12w scan and baby had stopped at 9w we had no bleeding or cramps either, Im currently having another mc now we found out earlier as I asked for scan but its non viable again didnt grow from 6w im 12w again now. Im getting a MVA tomorrow not looking forward to it but Im looking forward to moving on from this pregnancy even tho its emotionally hard I've been going through this for weeks now.

Miscarriages are awful and getting so far along without any warning is really hard to deal with, what gets you through it? i dont really know I felt sad for along time especially after my first this is my 3rd in a row. So sorry look after yourself love yourself give your hubby a big cuddle have a cry, slowly start picking yourself up emotionally. xxx

I’m so sorry for your loss... life is so cruel to us sometimes.... I pray you get through this in time and be kind to yourself xx


Hi Hope4usall. So, so sorry to read this. Such a heartbreak when all seemed to be going so well for you. Maybe they might be able to clarify what happened when you have a follow up appointment. Meanwhile, just concentrate on yourselves and get strong again. Lovely to hear that your husband's support is there for you. Spend some time together and lots of cuddles as this will hurt for a some time yet. I have suffered such heartbreak myself, so I know. The ladies here will surround you with their support too. Love and gentle hugs. Diane xx

I’m so so sorry. No words will make this better. Time is the only healer. I’m thinking of you during this difficult time xoxo

My heart breaks for you. I have had a missed miscarriage too. Give yourself some time and take care of you xx

I’m terribly sorry. I hope you can have some counselling that could help you go through this difficult experience. Sending lots of love xx

I’m so sorry to read this. Having suffered a missed miscarriage myself at 12 and a bit weeks i know how heart wrenching this is. As you say you start to let yourself breathe a little and hope when you get so far. I’m glad your other half is being so supportive - a good friend of mine said to me just be there for each other, you might not always feel the same feelings but try not to put on a brave face for each other and talk if you can. There is no quick fix for how you are feeling right now but although it doesn’t go away the intense feelings become more bearable.

Take good care of yourselves and sending lots of love x

I’m so sorry to read this. My thoughts are with you both xx

in reply to Suzannah1985

Is that your kitty in the pic? It's like a colleagues cat Percy who is spoilt!

I’m so sorry for your loss hun. Nobody should have to go through this ❤️I’m glad your partner is so supportive as you need all the support you can get at a time like this. I know that empty feeling all too well.

Sending lots of love 🙏💕xX

So sorry for your loss, sending big hugs xx

😢 I’m so so sorry x

So sorry you are going through this X

I’m so so sorry to read this, must be heartbreaking. I’m glad you have such a supportive partner xx

So sorry that so awful no way to answer how can move on. No simple answer unfort as so individual for us all. Go easy on u and take all time and support that need xx

I’m so, so sorry to read this. It’s truly heartbreaking. Sending you big hugs 💕 xx

I’m so sorry about your devastating loss. Sending hugs xxx


I'm sorry to hear that's happened. They're extremely cruel aren't they missed miscarriages as you have no idea anythings wrong only to be given the blow that the baby's died and you had no warning the way you do with a miscarriage where you bleed heavily where you expect the worst.

I am so sorry to read this. You must be devastated. Thinking of you at this sad time xx

So very heartbreaking, sending you so much strength and love for the months ahead, take each day step by step and do anything that brings any comfort no matter how small xx

So sorry to hear your news, sending you and your partner big hugs during this difficult time xxx

So sorry to read this happened when it all seemed to be going well. For me healing physically was very easy, I went back to work the day after my mc as I would have spent the day home crying otherwise. But mentally, allow yourself some time to heal, be open about your feelings with your husband. We had a short weekend away the two of us as it turned out it was very painful for my husband too, so we could get some fresh air. As the others say, one day at a time... love Xx

Hi Hope4usall

I know we have been messaging but again, I just wanted to say how sad I am for you. It's so so hard. As others have said, it's great your husband is there for you. Take it one day at a time and you will heal. Big hugs and lots of love xxxx

😢😥😥. I'm so sorry for this, it's really a torture and heart breaking experience to discover such at the scan. Praying and Wishing you strength to move on.


I'm so sorry, this is devastating news. Thinking of you and your partner. Take care of each other xx

So sorry you are going through this. Take time to grieve and rest. Thinking of you. Xx

I'm so so sorry to read this 😪 the pain must be unbearable. I hope you and your partner can take time to grieve and come back stronger in time. Be kind to yourselves and take time xx Sending lots of love xx

I am so very sorry to hear your news!💔 Truly gutted for you. Sending love and hugs.xx

I’m so sorry to read this 😞 sending you hugs & strength💗

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