Arghhh seriously just been ask... - Fertility Network UK

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Arghhh seriously just been ask...

14 Replies

Arghhh seriously just been asked to my cousins baby shower, luckily it’s in March actually on my birthday! and hopefully I’ll not feel like I do right now as I’m preparing myself for my 3rd mc. But I could punch her sister in the fanny for being so insensitive!!!!!!

14 Replies
Saya85 profile image
Saya85

Oh no..... What horrible timing

Did she know you're going through a miscarriage ?

Sometimes it's hard for those around us too- worth reminding ourselves it's not malicious usually. She may have worried about inviting others and not you in case that offended or upset you too.

Unless she knew what you were going through at this specific time it's just unfortunate.....

You're a strong woman - I'm sure you'll feel differently very soon xx

Yes she knows I just told them all yesterday when I found out and she know it’s my 3rd. But yeah I know she’ll just think I’d be annoyed if I wasn’t asked. But she could have asked at a later date. I’ve just texted her and she’s messaged back didn’t want me to feel she left me out. Still hurts

Saya85 profile image
Saya85 in reply to

Oh that's sad...... 😔

Sometimes were too strong and people don't realise how much it affects us underneath it all!

At least she acknowledged her reasons why.... Maybe you can explain to her how it made you feel and although you understand she didn't want to hurt your feelings, waiting a little may have been more appropriate. Will give her a heads up for future maybe

But at least you know it was just cluelessness rather than malice.

Sometimes it's up to us to let people know how to treat us x

Actually first time I’ve cried feeling really sorry for myself now 😭 weep weep

Saya85 profile image
Saya85 in reply to

Let it all out.... I've been teary today too

We need some closure sometimes and anything can trigger us

I actually cancelled a day of work which I never do so I know I need some time out to heal

But I'm also going to go out and enjoy myself with family and friends and just take time to pamper myself for a few days.

Do what you need to to heal yourself xx

Steadman80 profile image
Steadman80

Ah you’ve been through so much. People can be so bloody insensitive. I’ve just spent time with my best friend moaning about her pregnancy symptoms whilst I’m going through my 7th loss 😡. Let it all out doll, sometimes it does you good to have a good cry - it does for me anyway xx

Saya85 profile image
Saya85 in reply to Steadman80

What is wrong with people

I keep getting asked when others have trouble with their kids

"Are you sure you want kids?"

" You're so lucky you don't have them trust me!"

* Facepalm *

Lol I was just driving my daughters friend home thinking to myself I actually feel pretty good considering had a good day then that flashed up just started crying in the car feck sake.

hifer profile image
hifer

Oh no!!! Dreadful timing. Surely if it’s your birthday then that’s an excellent excuse not to go?! A strange day to arrange it on anyway! I wouldn’t go if it was me but then birthdays are big celebrations in my family. So sorry for the timing. Must have just topped things off. Sending hugs x

I’m ok now it just caught me off guard I did say in the group message I’m not sure what we’re doing yet for my birthday but I did private message her telling how shit it made me feel she was very apologetic and I know she didn’t mean to do it. My sis was in the message too and she texted me asking if I was going.

ALLY81 profile image
ALLY81

Oh no that was bad timing and insensitive surely thats last the last thing you want to think about right now!!!??? Maybe One day soon youll be inviting them to your baby shower (or not!!!) I would do something special for you on your birthday if i were you do what you want to do and look after you xxxxx

in reply to ALLY81

I wouldn’t have a baby shower not my kinda thing or a gender reveal or even fb announcement now. My cousin hasn’t fb announced she doesn’t like being pregnant if she could hide away for the next few mths she would. So I’m not really sure she’d like a shower it’s a secret lol

ALLY81 profile image
ALLY81 in reply to

I wouldnt have a baby shower either !!! I would hate if someone organgised that for me!!! Just thought it was very insensitive of them to ask you !!! Hopefully you can enjoy YOUR day at least you have a perfect excuse not to go to theirs!!! Xxxxx

Anya80 profile image
Anya80

People sometimes insensitive but they might be not even be aware of own behaviour ...just don’t go if you don’t feel for it. Your friends perhaps felt awkward not to invite you there and hence they did what they did, if you close enough they could’ve done this more gently...

I was grieving whole year for my little angel, there where days where I’ve felt so happy and suddenly started crying middle of nothing when I was on my own. I still grieve for it, it’s not easy I think it’s very natural.

I hope you get some peace of mind soon xxx

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