Investigating use of a surrogate. Any advice welcomed

[Wish1]

Hi all.

I'm new to the forum and wanted a bit of advice. Just a 'quick' summary. Due to my poor ovarian reserve my husband and I have struggled to conceive. We've had multiple failed IVF attempts. Our last attempt was 3 years ago and resulted in 2 embryos. Just before transfer however I was diagnosed with cancer. All fertility treatment was put on hold so I could undergo cancer treatment and my embryos frozen.

I am now 2 years cancer free and my consultant is happy for me to attempt pregnancy. Unfortunately I am on epilim (an anti epileptic) which has been shown to be a risk of physical and cognitive abnormalities. My neurologist was supportive of my previous attempts to conceive but due to recent new guidelines and research is now less so. I am anxious about the risk. My husband and I are now looking into surrogacy as another possible option. I was wondering if anyone had used a surrogate before. We've contacted an agency to book a consultation but I would be very grateful if anyone has any advice about the process.

If you have got to the end of this post thanks for reading it all. Just realised how long it is!

[Orla9298]

Hey, I’m sorry to hear about what you have gone through. I have low amh too so have been battling that too, but you have gone through a lot with cancer and glad you are well now!

I thought I would suggest that you join surrogacy uk on the Facebook group. It’s a lovely group for surrogates, intended parents, and egg donors to meet. People are really helpful so there will be lots of people who know the answers to any questions you maybe have xx

[Wish1 in reply to Orla9298]

Thanks for the response and the tip. 😊I'll go onto Facebook now and join the group. If I'm honest cancer was easy compared to Ivf and the emotional struggle that comes along with fertility issues. Hoping all the best for you xx

[Orla9298 in reply to Wish1]

It’s horrible isn’t it ivf and the pain when it doesn’t feel like it’s going to work. Good luck with everything you deserve your time now 😊 xx

[Hidden]

Hello there, you sound like an absolute trooper, and really brave too, wishing you all the best with your process and health X

[Wish1 in reply to Hidden]

Thanks so much. Don't always feel it! 😊 wishing you all the best also xx

[Faith27]

You sound like such an amazing, lovely person. I've nothing to add however just wanted to wish you all the best xxx

[Wish1 in reply to Faith27]

Thank you so much 😊 that's so lovely. You've made me smile during a very tiring time xx

[SiljeNor]

Hi! I really hope you are doing well!

I am opting for surrogacy, at the moment I am communicating with a clinic of my choice, we've booked an appointment already. It is set to be in a few weeks. Hopefully, everything works out. But as for now all looks good.

I have been browsing forums to read some similar stories to mine, and certainly there are a lot of couples that have the same struggles as we do.

I am mostly worried that it will take too long. I know that surrogacy cannot be done in just a few days, that the surrogate is always hard to find, however, I am sure that when I sign a contract I am mostly set to be matched with a surro in a few months maximum. That's what I am oping for. I am no longer scared and just a bit nervous as this is a new thing to me as well. But I urge everyone to not loose their hope in any case.

If you want to know anything or have any doubts, feel free to ask me, perhaps we can answer the questions that burden us together.

Wishing you all the best!