What to tell work?: So my OH and I are... - Fertility Network UK

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What to tell work?

Ajplus1 profile image

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So my OH and I are on a donor sperm waitlist. Ye to an accident he is a T6 paraplegic and as such has zero semen.

We are eagerly awaiting the moment when we reach the top of that waiting list so we can try our first shot at IUI (we have agreed two IUI cycles and then we will go to IVF/ICSI.

My question today is what do I say to my boss. I work in early childhood education so regulations are quite strict in regards to ratios so I can't just "start late".

Do I be upfront and honest? Part of me just wants to give them a copy of the attached picture and tell her straight up this is the situation. Or do I just say due to appointments I need this time or that time of work. I feel like once we reach the top of the list it will be go time and I'll need a plan for work. Torn at what to do. Do I tell them now? What do I tell them?

I just find it difficult as other people aren't like Iv I'm late we're having sex trying for a baby!

Note: Attached picture is the "schedule" I was given. We were told most appointments are finished by 10:30am. So realistically with IUI it will be one week that's affected.


4 Replies

Hi Ajplus1

I just thought I’d reply as I too work with children (although I am a childminder so my own boss but also the parents only source of childcare!).

I’d say whether to tell work or not is completely your decision and depends on your relationship with them. Do you think they’d be understanding?

Personally I told the parents of the children I work with when I was about to have IVF and gave them the option to either take the time off completely or understand that appointments may change at the last minute around the time, they knew my proposed schedule. It worked out the best way for me and they then understood my position which took some of the pressure off of me.

I’m not sure about IUI but with IVF things can change a lot and I didn’t want to worry about explaining or making excuses at the last minute when there was enough to worry about!

I’m sure some people on here have said their work actually have a policy for fertility treatment too so it may be worth looking into that to see what your options may be.

Good luck with whatever you decide and fingers crossed for a positive outcome xx

Ajplus1 profile image
Ajplus1 in reply to Franco81

Thank you. I think I'm leaning towards telling them I'm doing fertility treatment when it gets closer and asking them what they'd like me to do.

I checked our policy's there is only one for 'pregnancy in early childhood care'.

I had iui and work as a pharmacist and my work is pretty strict and time off needs to be booked like 12 weeks in advance minimum so I ended up telling my boss I needed time off last minute to go to the clinic for fertility treatment. He could not have been nicer about it. He has been so supportive. With my clinic i just tested for ovulation every morning with the kits and had iui the day after so I was able to give them 24hrs notice. I didn’t have any other injections apart for the trigger shot and did not need any bloods so did make planning time off easier as it was just one day.

Ajplus1 profile image
Ajplus1 in reply to Emmyh80s

Thanks for your reply. I'll need to have bloods taken and ultra sounds but the dr said they should be all done by 10:30. Hopefully I'll be able to explain all of this and my work will be understanding :)

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