Considering no.2...

[Daisy14]

Good evening all, hope you are all doing ok whatever stage you are at.

Apologies for this post as I am well aware reading it would have really upset me a few years ago and I totally don’t mean to be insensitive so forgive me, but I’m not sure where else to get the advice.

I am so lucky that my daughter is 15 months old and the result of a second round of IVF, the first resulting in a miscarriage. We have 4 frozen embryos and have talked of going again and need to decide as I’m now 40.

Before my daughter was born I was a wreck, the whole IVF consumed my life and especially the MC. But once my daughter was here it honestly feels as though it never happened. I am terrified of going again and going back to that situation and then missing out on bits of what I have now. But what’s life without risk? I’m so undecided.

Any experience or advice on this would be much appreciated.

X

[Gillyc1]

My daughter got pregnant on her first round and got a frozen embie. When she decided to have another go, the embie didn’t survive the thaw so had to start a fresh. First time she wasn’t responding to drugs so it got cancelled. Had to start again by which time her anxiety was through the roof. She got her BFP on xmas eve but miscarried. We were all absolutely devastated but she felt she was strong enough to have another go. She is now nearly 15 weeks pregnant. The fear of going through it all again was nearly unbearable but so glad we took the chance. If you don’t give it a go, you will always wonder. Best to regret something you did do as opposed to something you didn’t do . Good luck xxxxx

[Kat9lives]

Hi Daisy, like you I'm considering no.2 after 2 rounds of IVF (first didn't work but second using ICSI resulted in our now 16 month old daughter). I feel very daunted by it all, knowing what happened the first time round but we both know it's so worth it. If you want to talk I'm here, or privately if you prefer.

I also don't want to offend anyone on here, knowing how difficult it is going through IVF, but wasn't sure where else to go for advice. This forum is so supportive and I hope equally I'll be able to offer some advice or support to ladies (and gents) on here too.

We have a consultation at the end of the month and will take it from there, hoping to use the frosties we have (2). Do you have anything booked in yet?

Best of luck my dear. Xx

[glt01]

We're still waiting to get our funding approved for our first cycle of IVF (currently jumping through the flaming hoops of hospital politics) and if we were in your position we would definitely be giving it another go. I know thats very easy to be said from someone whos not done the madness of IVF yet (and im dreading it) but thought I could offer some words of support (hopefully!).

Me and my OH both grew up with siblings and we have both said we would want that for our future children whether that's through IVF/adoption/fostering/giving up completely and being crazy dog parents. You and your partner will be the only ones who are able to make such decision and you'll know what the answer will be, and don't think yourself insensitive for asking advice. You have the advantage of knowing what to expect through a cycle and also how emotional the outcome can be so you can prepare yourself mentally and physically for it. Good luck and I hope it goes well!

[Lynnr54]

Hi Daisy,

I was lucky that my first fresh round of IVF worked and we also had 3 Frosties. So for me, trying again for no.2 was a no-brainer.

Trying for no.2 hasn’t been quite as straight forward. Physically I have found FETs easier than a fresh cycle but the mental process has been harder. After my first FET I got a BFP and I was over the moon that it could have worked twice in a row for me. But unfortunately that cycle turned into a chemical pregnancy and brought me crashing back down to earth. My second FET cycle also ended in a BFN and at that point I started to get quite pessimistic about the whole thing. In theory they transfer your best quality Frosties first so I had resigned myself to my last FET cycle not working either. We had decided that we were going to try another fresh round in case I responded better to fresh drugs than frozen ones but I had even convinced myself that that wouldn’t work either (rationale being that only 1 out of 11 eggs had worked the previous fresh cycle, plus I’m 3 years older now, plus the clinical trial we took part in on the first round is no longer running so we wouldn’t have the benefit of that either). Mentally I wasn’t in a great place, even though I had no real reason for the pessimism - the process just took its toll.

But, I kept looking at my monkey and reminding myself how nice it would be for him to have a sibling and I picked myself up and got on with my final FET round and fortunately it appears to have been successful and I’m now almost 9 weeks pregnant with no. 2. So whilst the journey has been harder - and the 2ww is also more difficult with a toddler to run round after and deal with tantrums from - I don’t regret it.

If you didn’t do it would you regret not trying in a few years? Could you use a couple of your Frosties and then take a call on whether the mental toll is getting too great for you before deciding whether to use the remaining ones?

If you do decide to go again then I wish you the best of luck with your Frosties x