Sleepless nights worrying about IVF cost....

I know this is not a health issue but I was awake most of last night stressed about the financial aspect of IVF.

I was made redundant just as I started IVF treatment and have not gone back to work as starting frozen cycle soon.

I came to a kind of a dead end in my career anyway and needed to make some changes to reduce stress etc. As I was working in fashion and it was a bit hardcore.

We have 3 funded IVF rounds but I cannot wait a year for 3rd one if 2nd one doesn't work so have to self-fund. By this time I will have been out of work for some time. My OH is not on a high salary.

Basically I am risking everything by putting my career on hold for IVF.

Also worried IF I manage to get pregnant what will I do financially....

How does everyone else deal with the financial stress of this?

Anyone been on benefits during this time?

Xxx

[destiny121]

I kind of understand your point, im about to embark on my 2nd round and it really frightens me that if this doesnt work and then my third doesnt work id have to self fund.

However, we must remain positive that it wont get that far and put our all into these cycles that we can do without any cost. I also think that when you want something so bad we will find a way but hopefully wont get that far.

Good luck xxx

[Lilli79]

Hi there, I'm a terrible insomniac so understand where you're coming from. I was also in the fashion industry (a designer) many years ago and was made redundant in 2008. I wasn't going through ivf at the time but it was literally the best thing that ever happened to me. The pay was terrible and I hated the people I worked with, everything was a competition and it made me very unhappy. When I left I went to an agency and got a temp contract which then became my new career which I now love! So please don't see it as all is lost. Is this something you could do? Have you looked into maternity pay? You can still get statutory pay from the government if you don't work, you may also qualify for the sure start grant. You can also apparently get tax credits even if you don't have children (& especially if your partner is on a low wage). Please don't see it as a bad situation, you will be OK. Take care of yourself xxx

[Hidden in reply to Lilli79]

Oh this is so like my story and actually I registered for a temp agency last week and was afraid they wouldn't want me as I was also a designer!

I set up a tiny social enterprise that I do on the side designing accessories - it makes me no money but is a charity. So temping would be ideal to keep me going. I am so inspired that your experience of temping was so positive and lead to a new career that you prefer.

Fashion just destroyed my soul and even my partner notices the difference in my mood and general happiness. I am still a creative person but the life I want doesn't involve working in that toxic environment.

Thanks so so much for writing. Your situation was so similar.

Xxx

[Lilli79 in reply to Hidden]

Oh tell me about it!! I now work in waste (couldn't be any more different to fashion!!) but I love it. I've been doing it for 10 yrs now and got a degree etc along the way. Literally my first job in waste was temp admin but I just loved the industry, the people and the opportunities. I found people in fashion so fake and you had to bend over backwards for people for such a rubbish salary. But I always say it was an experience.... 😁 My second round of ivf was a success for us and I'm currently 24 weeks with twins so please don't give up hope. I was mega stressed before my first round of ivf and started doing reflexology, it really helped me. Its probably not an extra expense you want at the moment so if you want a nice alternative try the meditation videos of YouTube. Great if you need to switch off, get your head in the right place and more important than anything get some lovely sleep! Good luck with the temp agency, I know the difficulties of going from fashion to another industry so if you want a chat or advice let me know xxx

[Hidden in reply to Lilli79]

Awww so inspiring. I am going to read your messages out to my OH.

So glad it all worked out in the end.

Life sometimes makes decisions for you and I do feel like it has done something positive in this case.

I found an agency that offers temp contracts in charities and Ngo's so going to try that route.

Everything you say about fashion I have experienced!

Thanks for sharing your experience and congratulations for your little miracles!

Xxx

[Aleelilook]

Ah yes I’ve been there! We are on round 6, we have been extremely lucky in that my dad paid for round 3 and now this frozen round, but we took a huge loan out for round 4 and subsequently donor eggs and round 5 🤦🏼‍♀️ I also left my job on a sabbatical in January, and have since taken redundancy (best decision I’ve ever made as a teacher!) It’s been really hard and we’ve had to change our lifestyle considerably 😟 but it’s a small price to pay. I find focusing on the here and now instead of the future makes it less stressful. Have you looked at temping? I’ve been doing the equivalent with teaching so homeschooling and tutoring to keep me busy, and I feel like I’m contributing again, which has definitely helped me stress less, and taking one day at a time, not thinking about how in debt we are otherwise I’d be hysterical! Xx

[Hidden in reply to Aleelilook]

Sounds great. And I do feel sometimes you need to focus on whats important.

Just sometimes I worry that I am risking too much!

Temping is a great idea and I will def do that during my future cycles.

Best of luck with your journey whatever stage you are at.

Thanks for replying.

Xxx

[Hidden in reply to Aleelilook]

Just seen on your profile you are starting round 6!

Best of Luck!!

X

[Aleelilook in reply to Hidden]

Ah thank you lovely!! Xx

[Tugsgirl]

I worry about money too. I only work 15 hours a week now. I’ve actually lost hours during my ivf journey as clients needed someone more reliable and between appointments for ivf and the miscarriage clinic I’ve not been exactly that. And because of this, this limbo, I can’t take on more hours at work. We’ll be self funding our next round, our second one, and close family have been amazing in offering financial help. We couldn’t do another round without them but I just hope I don’t let them down xx

[Hidden in reply to Tugsgirl]

Sounds like you are doing the right thing. Cutting your hours has to be a positive thing.

Fingers crossed this is it for you.

Your family are so kind.

Xxx

[Tugsgirl in reply to Hidden]

I don’t really have much choice, no one wants to put the work my way, but I also feel guilty as I’m not able to contribute as much as I’d like to. Yes without our family helping we’d not be able to try again. Good luck to you too xx

[Hidden in reply to Tugsgirl]

That is good in a way so you can just look after yourself.

Xxx