Fertility Network UK
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Resources for anxiety after BFP

After some bleeding yesterday, I had a mega melt down. And was hysterical. I realized I can’t keep going on in this mental state for the next few months. It’s not good for me or the growing foetus.

I’ve always been a big worrier and always think the worst. And now, when it seems I’m so close to having what we’ve been worked so hard toward the last few years, I’m petrified it’s all going to disappear in an instant.

So please share any resources (books, podcast, tools, articles, etc) that would help. Also I’m familiar with the meditation apps but wondering if there is anything tailored and specific to those in early pregnancy.

Thank you so much in advance.

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Personally I don’t think books are as helpful as face to face counselling. If you are able to afford it, look at the UKCP or British Psychological Society for a local counsellor. Or you can get a course of treatment via your GP but the waiting list tends to be long.

Books you may find helpful: The Chimp Paradox

There is a website called living life to the full which has some useful resources. Mindfulness and meditation is helpful in the moment but won’t address the underlying issue.

I’m a huge worrier too and seeing a counsellor has helped me address that. Good luck on your journey and well done for doing something to help yourself. X

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Thank you so much - hadn’t heard of any of these before

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Hi, I would speak to your midwife, I had my appt yesterday and she went through mental health extensively. So I would assume they should availabile resources. I’m not sure how far along you are but by 12 weeks you can maybe join a studio that offers pregnancy yoga class? I find yoga a great way to relax and also build strength xx

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Thanks - I won’t have my midwife appointment for another 2 weeks after my first scan at the clinic. But I’ll be sure to ask her. I’m in my 5th week.

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Can you try calling your midwife clinic and ask if you can get an earlier appt? Or just ask them over the phone if they can recommend anything? I found the midwife really amazing and so much more supportive than my GP xx

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Hi, are you able to find a good counsellor?

1 hour speaking to someone every time you feel anxious and nervous will just help you to learn ways to start managing it.

Hope you have some resources near you?

Your nhs clinic should provide some for free?

Xxx

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They do and I’ve seen the counsellor before - appointments are always 2-3 weeks out though. And I don’t like her too much

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Hey abc girl, I share your pain I am just over 7 weeks and even after 3 scans it has not got easier, I have had spotting since 5 weeks too which does not help the scan did show a bleed around the area but also the pessaries were causing more - DM me if you want more details :-) I try stay busy to help pass the time easier said than done though xx

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Relieved to hear I’m not the only one who has found this bit terrifying. I have to say the support and success stories on her have been really helpful. Although I have to be careful not to read everything as it can make me freak out too.

I’ve got my 6wk scan on Thursday. My 1st scan after transfer. Am hoping afterwards I will start to feel pregnant and stop always thinking the worse. I have a feeling that may not be the case.

I have seen a councillor a couple of times, mainly due to a family issue, but it has helped me deal with some of the anxiety too.

I also find writing things down quite helpful. It makes me order my thoughts and in a funny sort of way release them.

I think it’s about finding what helps you cope. Some people prefer doing nothing while others prefer keeping busy.

I also bough some fertility affirmation cards. Cards with positive thoughts on them to help you have a positive mind set. I take a photo and have it as my screen saver. Reminds me I can do this and helps me be positive.

Wish you the best of luck.xxxx

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Great suggestions. You’re right about the writing - I used that a lot when my first cycle failed and completely forgot about it. Thanks

I think you’re right - I don’t know if it will get any easiest after the first scan.

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And I agree reading the stories in here helps but it seems there are just as many miscarriage stories as their are success stories and that’s what scares me. But even in my own circle of friends a number of them have had a miscarriage before - just seems like it bound to happen 😔

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I know it’s so sad to hear when it hasn’t worked for people. But there also so many wonderful success stories. Which gives me hope.

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I don't have any suggestions for you Hun but hope you find something that helps you. I'm 10 weeks tomorrow & have been feeling exactly the same as you. It's awful isn't it. I've had 2 scans already & am back to worrying again 5 minutes later. I might try counselling after ready the other replies. Wishing you a healthy pregnancy x

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I’m totally the same! 8 weeks today, first scan last week which was perfect. But I’m still anxious & worried constantly.

I’ve booked a private scan for next week as I don’t think I can wait until 12 weeks.

I think a face to face counsellor is a great idea.

Have you tried the “Mindful IVF” app? It’s useful for relaxation and meditation. I’m not into it normally but have found it useful.

Also I’ve found Acupuncture really positive & relaxing - they’re super experienced with IVF patients so are very supportive.

But...I think I’m going to worry every day to be honest. Just keeping busy and looking after myself. Stay strong xxx

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Thank you. I’ve been seeing a acupuncturist for over a year now and since the BFP, I’m not sure whether to continue. He hasn’t pushed it or suggested another treatment either. But I do love going to him esp since he’s been like my counsellor through everything. I’m just scared to do anything to be honest. I wanted to start exercising again but after the bleed yesterday, I’ve decided to hold off.

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First of all congratulations on your pregnancy! I think I spoke to you about calcium ionophore some time ago?

I recommend a meditation app Insight Timer. The medications by Sarah Blondin are wonderful though not related to pregnancy. I’m sure you can find some that are specific to the pregnancy as well. Good luck xx

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Make sure you do lots of things that you love and you are taking it easy. I booked some time off with my husband and we had days out like a slow walk around the zoo, picnic in the park etc just to keep my mind from running away with itself x also our clinic gave us a 6/7 week scan and a 9/10 week scan to help my anxiety so we wasn’t waiting so long for 12 week scan xx

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There’s an app I think called mindful ivf? Goodness knows I think I’ll need it if this works! I’m totally with you on how you feel; I almost didn’t have my transfer last week because of it. Big hugs x

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Congratulations! I don't know if this will help, because it may depend on where you live. There is a charity called PETALS and they can offer 6 sessions of counselling for free to help with anxiety around pregnancy and following IVF (they also support people who have experienced still birth and miscarriage). I am due to start seeing them owing to a combination of miscarriages, IVF, previous traumatic birth and worries about the birth of this baby (conceived through IVF). They have appointments available in London, Cambridge, Oxford and Ipswich so if you can travel to any of these places, it might be worth checking out.

petalscharity.org/about/

Good luck with everything and I hope, with time, things start to feel better for you.

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