Hello!
Today I awoke with trepidation but decided it was going to be a good day. Yesterday on the plus side I think I have a very faint positive, and my wind subsided. On the negative I had some spotting which knocked the wind right out of me and made it one of those days where I could barely manage to bring myself to leave my cave. Even in the cave it felt like the walls were crashing down and the darkness clutched my heart. I couldn't even imagine trying to do mindfulness even though I knew that would help.
Thankfully I had you guys helping and guiding and providing support. You are all amazing. Despite everything we are all going through we find time and energy to help each other out all the time. Thank you.
Today I have decided not to test (my otd is friday), I still have spotting although not nearly as much. I managed to stop myself from even going to the toilet until about 10am! And I have dragged my sorry ass out for a walk amongst the trees. (I read somewhere a few months ago that trees provide natural pheromones which balance nk cells - it's an article nothing to do with fertility but hey, I will try anything).
So I drove here listening to absolute 90s and singing at the top of my lungs (breathing also good) and making the most of this feeling today where I can leave my cave. Who knows what tomorrow brings bit one thing I do know is that we are on a long hard journey, we all have each other - and most of all we need to grab the happy times by the ****s and enjoy every moment.
Thanks again everyone xx
Starting again
Update... Reached the half way mark😁
Feeling Philosophical 
