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Fertility Network UK
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Is there any point

Hi ladies

It’s a bit late to ask but we have our last appointment at our clinic on Monday. It’s our follow up from our last go that didn’t work out as our embryos didn’t survive when they came out of the freezer. They were donor embryos.

We did however have a follow up appointment but we got seen by a total different doctor that we had never met before and was completely useless, my partner wanted to complain about the service. But I don’t like to complain and asked to book another follow up appointment in to see our own doctor.

As time has passed my partner doesn’t want to go anymore he sees it as “what’s the point” what are they going to tell us.

The thing is if I can find my own donor I would get another try on the NHS but have to find someone before next year as I will turn 40.

Does anyone have any suggestions of questions that I can ask or do people think it’s a waste of time and focus on finding a private clinic. I starting to think now myself what different things will they say from the time before. They give no explanation of what happened or what could of happen to our frozen embryos and I know that they don’t always know. Sorry I know it’s a bit long.

DianeArnold have you any ideas what I can ask many thanks we feel in total limbo.

6 Replies

Hi lovely,

I don’t have much to suggest for follow up but know there are some lists of questions Diane can send over, but I wondered if you could ask the clinic for tips on finding your own donor? As it would be a lot easier financially if you could get another nhs go. I’m sorry your lastvtreatmen didn’t work :-(

Also, if a friend or family donor wants to donate to help you, but not to you if it is too odd for them or thy are unsuitable, they can put into the egg bank and put you at the top of the list for an anonymous donor. I’m sure you know all that but just thought I’d suggest those two things.

Lots of luck xxx

1 like

Thanks for your reply.

One of my family members were ment to be donating their eggs to me, but backed out in the end. I’m the 2nd youngest of 4 and my other sisters are too old to donate. My other sister is my half sister and I don’t get to see her much she lives in Plymouth and I live in Newcastle plus I haven’t told her about our fertility problems. As I don’t know how to we are not that close. Never mind about asking her to donate. That was a good point to to ask about how to find a donor. Would I have to send Diane a private message for questions?

Thanks for your lovely message xx

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She will probably see your post, but you could tag her in it too I think?x

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How would I tag her in it, or can I send her a message can’t seem to find how to do that on my phone x


Hey, if you want to tag someone type the @ sign in before their username and it appears in a drop down menu you can select it. It then shows up in blue like this DianeArnold so Diane should be able to see your post through me now.

Im sorry I dont have any suggestions as to how to find a donor. Some of my friends offered to help me out but they were the same age as me and ideally you want someone in their 20's. Sometime the clinic has no reason that the embryos havent defrosted, its just one of those things but I still think its worth a conversation to have as it can settle your mind. You menioned you had donor before....where did you get the donor from before. Im having private treatment DE abroad with a clinic and it would appear that most private clinics and the odd NHS clinic offer donor embryos to you. Best of luck!xx

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It breaks my heart reading this. Are you looking for an anonymous donor or someone you would like to keep in touch? x


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