Fertility Network UK
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2nd Time Lucky?

Hi All,

I found out just before Christmas that our first round of ICSI failed and now awaiting our appointment to go back and discuss.

I am feeling very low still and everything makes me want to cry. I cant seem to get myself back into being positive and strong like I was on the first round. Anyone experienced similar that can advise what may help or offer any helpful advice?

Thanks in advance

Jess xx

12 Replies
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It’s hard. My first ivf ended in a chemical pregnancy in September. I took a few months out to let my body and mind settle, as well as save up before my FET on Saturday. Depending on your age I would suggest taking some time out and making a plan for when you will go again. All the best x

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Thank you for replying hun. So sorry for what you've been through, its so hard. FC for you this time around.

I am turning 30 next month so age is on my side and we should have another round on the NHS. Part of me wants to start straight away but the other side of me is so scared and worried it will fail again.

I know that's so negative but I just cant bring myself back around to positivity! I feel 2017 was a massive shi**er (excuse my French!) and its not getting better - need to pull myself together I know but that's easier said than done!

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Yes I’m 37 so just took three months out. I think with your age you could perhaps think about going again in the second half of 2018?

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Yes, I will see what the hospital say.

Ideally im not sure I could wait it out much longer - I just need to pick myself up a bit and get my positive head on.

I was so focused and strong through the last cycle, I need to find that strength again. Hopefully, after we go to the clinic and find out what they are saying I will be in a better place

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Do email Diane Arnold for a list of questions you can ask the clinic.

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Thank you, I will drop her a line :) x

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Hi

I felt the same. I had a failed round at the end of July and didn’t feel ready to try again until Christmas (currently in 2ww).

I had Hypnotherapy to help get my head back right, because otherwise I’m not sure if it would have taken longer. Although the clinic said as long as I was back on my normal monthly cycle I could try again, I really wasn’t ready.

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Thank you for taking the time to reply to me. Sorry that your 1st round failed also, FC for this try hun. Hopefully the best start to 2018, when are you testing?

I feel very torn, part of me wants to get started right now and wants it to hurry up and the other feels very fragile. I guess once ive spoken to my clinic and know that we definitely have another round and what their advice is, maybe that will make it easier to decide whether to wait or not.

I think ive just got to go ahead when I can otherwise I will dwell on it. I know what I am like and I will be constantly questioning myself. If I start again sooner, I can pick myself up and be like right positive thinking lets tackle this. New year, new start I guess? xx

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Perhaps you should give yourself a little bit of time to get over this loss. Every time I had a failed cycle it felt like a bereavement. Do try to be kind to yourself and good luck with your review appointment. Very best wishes x

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Thank you for replying. I think part of it is that im not feeling 100% so really down on myself anyway - I will wait and see what the clinic say at the end of the month and go from there xx

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Hi hun,

I'm sorry to hear you had a BFN. My first and only NHS ICSI also failed and I feel exactly the same as you. I was so strong and positive during the cycle but since the BFN on the 29th Dec I have been feeling low and sad. You're not alone. It's strange how this fail cycle feels like I have lost a baby even though I didn't get a BFP. I find going back to work helps me feel 'normal' again and I have been concentrating on finding a private clinic for our next go, this helps me focus and give me a new objective. So maybe try to keep busy as much as you can. I'll be thinking of you and good luck with your next round. Xx

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Hi Hun, thanks for replying. I’m so sorry your cycle didn’t work out for you either! It is so heartbreaking! I’m coping slightly better now I’m back at work but it’s not that busy so my mind does tend to wander off!

Hopefully, after our follow up appointment I’ll be in a better place and know what’s next so can pick myself up and be ready again!

I wish you all the luck with finding a clinic and your next round! Fingers crossed 2018 is our year xx

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