Fertility Network UK

Another kick

good morning. I hope everyone is doing as well as can be. I'm finding things a real battle. Friday would have been my due date but I was trying to stay positive mainly for OH who must be sick of seeing me miserable. But yesterday yet another kick when a colleague who has admitted there are issues in her relationship and they sleep in separate rooms (?) is pregnant...with non identical twins. I can't even get one egg to fertilise in a given month and she's managed 2. What is wrong with the world? I couldn't hide the emotion although I did manage not to burst into tears. How embarrassing would that be, someone tells you they're pregnant so you start crying. I just don't know how much I can take. She was the last person I thought would announce pregnancy. I'm trying to stay positive but life just keeps slapping me in the face. The only place I can come to get any understanding is on here so thank you. To all of you who have had it tough this year let's hope 2018 is a better year and to all those for whom their wishes have come true, congratulations. I'm always genuinely pleased for you on here because we know what we've gone through xx

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I don’t think anyone would blame you for reacting in that way. Ultimately you’re grieving. Just like anniversaries, birthdays etc are painful when you lose a relative, your due date is going to bring up a whole load of emotions. Are you getting any professional help, bereavement counselling etc? Xx

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thanks Sarah. You're right. Sooner or later I know you do have to try and get things on track but I'm just not ready. Perhaps I will be next year who knows. I've never been offered any help or counselling. I don't think I'd want it now. Too far down the line to keep dredging up difficult emotions xx I've just seen your last post. HUGE congratulations!xx

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I didn’t have counselling for my dad’s death until 5 years after he died so I don’t think there’s a time limit on it. Perhaps for the moment it’s too soon - focus on getting through each day and achieving mini goals (I mean really mini like putting on an outfit that makes you feel good!). It will get easier to live with but it’s still very recent so be kind to yourself. And thank you. I hope and pray you get your miracle too xxx

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Firstly sorry for you loss!

I felt exactly the same when someone I know annouced their pregnancy, the most unlikely person to have a baby and you're right it is a complete kick in the stomach and your emotions will be running especially high just now! I really feel for you having to hear this, I at least got the news not in front of the person....probably would have grimmaced through it like you!

Big hugs, here's to a better 2018 for sure!xx

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Hi louisear. So sorry to hear how upset you are feeling after hearing about the colleague who is pregnant. It is important to tell yourself that the feelings you are experiencing are quite normal, but do try and choose how, and who you spend your time at the moment in order to minimise any distress and to look after yourself. On a practical level, maybe you could start a new hobby, if you have time, but do keep busy. I know you say it’s a bit late for counselling, but there is a charity called the “British Infertility Counselling Association” can also be accessed at bica.net this is not a free service, but they are all specially qualified in counselling people with fertility issues. As you say, you will always have the people on here to be by your side and they will stay there. Sending you love and hugs, and I shall be thinking of you. Diane

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So sorry you’ve been in this situation, Ive really struggled recently with pregnancy announcements and your right it’s a massive kick when it’s someone who you’d never expect. I don’t think you should feel embarrassed your emotions are naturally higher at the moment, your still grieving. Here’s hoping 2018 is a better year for us all xx

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Due dates are really really hard.

Big hugs xx

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