Hi Ladies, at our follow up appointment from our 2nd and final ICSI cycle, I was told that my husband and I must be genetically incompatible. She said this was because I was 34, had a thick enough lining but our embryo quality was poor on both cycles (terrible on 2nd). Has anyone else been told this? It was a bit of a kick in the teeth as she also told me how fortunate I was to have a good marriage and I should just be thankful for that. I can't get the word incompatible out if my head. Was it really necessary? Why couldn't she have left me in blind ignorance? I had already told her we weren't doing any more so in that sense it was irrelevant. I didn't push for answers. I said we accepted that it must be down to poor embryo quality and that we're preparing to go through life without children.
Top that off with when I finally confided in my family that we've been through ivf but it hasn't worked so unfortunately we will be childless, my sister said well maybe it's a positive as you could have ended up with a baby with problems and that would be worse. She also said, well at least you and your husband are strong so that's good. It would be worse if you ended up divorced.
My mum said well I had been hoping and praying but I'll just stop now and won't mention it ever again. You can just adopt then. There are lots of children in the world who need homes. I explained that adoption is a solution for the poor children who suffer neglect and or abuse or the poor parents who can't manage parenthood but it is not a solution to infertility. I also pointed out that it's not our responsibility as infertiles to adopt these children. In fact anyone could share that responsibility. She got all huffy and made me feel I was selfish. I explained that we were still grieving and that grief takes time and we need to give ourselves time.
I'm a bit confused as to why people don't say. "Oh I'm so sorry to hear that. I can't imagine how hard it is for you. I can't make things better but if you'd like to talk, I'm here."
I now regret telling/talking to anyone apart from you girls about it. It was better when my hubby and I just knew.
I just wondered if anyone else has been told they're genetically incompatible and if so what did you do with that news.