I'm currently sat in the hospital waiting for my OH to come back up from his surgical sperm retrieval and I'm absolutely terrified.
What if they don't find any? What will I say to my OH if they don't find any so that he knows it'll still all be ok?
Just so tough 😢
I have everything crossed for you x
Keeping everything crossed for you, your there waiting to support him whichever way it goes and that's what's important x
Hey hun
It's 2 months tomorrow since I was sat in exactly the same position as you! You are there with your OH and love him dearly. Looking at when you wrote this you will probably have some news by now! I hope it is all good!!!
If not I'm not sure what you will say but I'm sure you will find a way of letting him know. I have absolutely everything crossed for you and your in my thoughts. Sending lots and lots of luck xx
The news unfortunately is not good so far. They have found no sperm at all in the tubes and so have had to take away tissue to see if there is any there.
The consultant was rushing off because he was on call in another hospital and had only come in for this op but said he would call tomorrow to talk about it but I get the feeling that our chances are slim 😞I have broken it to my OH but tried to stay positive because he's still completely out of it.
How are you getting on with the stimming? Hope it's all going well xx
Awe hun I am sorry to hear this. As our stories are so similar I have been absolutely rooting for you guys. I don't think I've got words! I can only imagine how you guys must be feeling. Bless you and your OH!
I'm also hoping that tomorrow will bring some more positive news. If you need to moan please feel free. You can also message me if it will help.
I hope your OH isn't in to much pain either. You are in my thoughts. Sending you both big hugs xxx
Thank you for thinking about us. As the afternoon went on they came back and advised that my OH's genetic condition had too big an impact and that there is definitely no usable sperm.
Feel absolutely devastated, we have lost our chance to have a child that is part of both of us and although I know we could use donor sperm, I feel absolutely gutted for my OH.
Plus he was so ill we ended up being at the hospital for 13 hours to try to control the vomiting 😩
Just need to re-group now.
It'll take a while though 😞
Sorry to hear about your hubby! I hope he is feeling a bit better. I think there is a grieving process when you receive news like this. Does your clinic provide counselling as this may be useful for both of you. We've had to move onto donor egg (as my eggs dont seem very good) and although I had it in my head this might always be a prospect its still diffcult when it comes round to having to shut the door on hopes and dreams. We have also talked about DS in case there is also an issue with my hubby, he wasnt too keen to start with but has now said it is something he would consider - although this has taken time and a few cycles failures! Take some time for you to digest this. Thinking of you and sending you big hugs!xx
Thank you for your message. You are right, it is a bit like a grieving process, we've lost the hope of something that we both wanted together.
It wasn't to be though and we'll need to pull ourselves together and take a different direction.
I did so well not to cry the whole day but when my poor OH sitting in the hospital bed, stitched up, swollen and vomiting, said 'all this and we have nothing to show for it' it pushed me over the edge and then I was an emotional wreck.
Our clinic do offer counselling, talking will be tough 😞
Well just take your time, there is no time limit on how long it will take you to get past this awful news, just take a day at a time! Just try to be there for each other, lots of hugs and love! At least you have the option of counselling if and when you think you might need it, its not for everyone but lots of people find it really helps even if it is hard!xx
Ohh hun. Sorry it's taken a little while for me to reply to this but I have been trying to work out what to say. However I've worked out that there are no words! I can't imagine the devastation that you both must be feeling. Take some time and be kind to yourselves. As you say there are options but take all the time you need. Sending hugs to you both Xxx
Aw thank you. I am really grateful for all your kind thoughts and support.
It's sunk in more overnight and I'm able to cope with life today, as long as no one talks about it or is kind to me so that I cry again (coming to work helped as no one but my boss knows) x
Just now, I replied to a previous post you put up, but then I read on and can see you are having a tough time at the moment. I'm sorry for you and hubbie. After I struggled to recover from a laparoscopy, I remember saying something similar to my husband!
If it helps, I have a male friend who also has no sperm. He and his wife decided to use donor sperm and she was able to get pregnant fairly easily through icsi in her early 30s. They now have two little boys and are a happy family. My friend feels just as much their dad as if they'd been conceived the normal way. There is hope out there, and you are not alone xx
Thank you. I know you are right and that we have other options. It was just such a shock at first. We both believed it would work and it didn't and we need to adjust to it all.
That's if my OH survives the next few days and I don't kill him 😂. I know he's in pain from the op but he is so dramatic and right now constantly complaining about stomach pains. These are just from being unable to poop (apparently general anaesthetics does that to you for a few days)but you would honestly believe that he was at deaths door the way he is behaving.
At least I have my sense of humour back again 😀.
Have you got a date for your genetic counselling yet? Ours came through pretty fast x
We only found out yesterday, but that's good to know it came through pretty fast. We are waiting for the letter from the ivf clinic to go to our GP so that he can refer us. Whereabouts are you? We will be referred to Northampton as our regional centre, apparently. We could go private, but I think it's too much money.
PS after my laparoscopy I genuinely felt dreadful, and the general anaesthetic after effects were pretty dreadful too. Keep up the kind nurse face... if you end up having ivf, you'll want his sympathy later on so get some credit in the bank 😂
Haha you are right. I will definitely be expecting that sympathy in that case. We are in Glasgow, did the fertility stuff privately as the waiting list was too long but the genetic stuff was only available on the NHS but the appointment was less than 2 months from being told of the results x
Waiting game
The waiting game feels like torture 
Waiting game.... arghhhhh
Waiting for the call
Waiting.. 
