Arrrrr just been asked 'when are you going to have a baby'

Like I can just pop into a supermarket and pick up my baby grrrrr I knew she was going to ask before I even saw her so been dreading it all day. Just said I 'i don't know' I would have liked to have said I don't think I'll be able to have my own children I've lost most of my eggs heading for early menopause, suffered a mc 6months ago and just had a cancelled round of ivf so please don't ask me that question again as it's very hurtful and painful for me to brush off. Sorry just had to let of some steam just hard having to brush it off and the fact that I've stressed about the question coming and then feel sad that I have to hide the truth and deal with the hurt. I know you all understand and have been in the situation it just helps to write it down xxx

20 Replies

  • I know exactly how you feel as I got asked yesterday and had to just brush it off! People just don't realise how personal and sensitive a question it is! One day someone will get me in the wrong mood and get an answer they aren't expecting ha ha x

  • I'm the same I just think one day someone is going to catch me on a bad day and they'll regret asking that question, Sorry you were asked the same thing only yesterday xxx

  • I totally understand at lunch I was asked so when are you having kids by the nosey lady in the office who has been on my case since I got married. Just feel like saying fuck off!! I don't swear and am kind but people are begining to test my limit. So tired of staying when the time is right. When I feel the time is right now!!! This lady also happened to gossip over lunch about another lady in the office who had 6 miscarriages and went through early menopause- it was not her business to tell me that poor lady's past. Some people can't keep things to themselves.

    Enjoy this weekend Hun! Just look on the bright side of life...we are alive...we have a roof over our heads and have amazing husband's xxxx

  • I know that's what I'm trying to do I know I'm very lucky in other areas of my life and that's what I need to focus on especially with all the awful events that have been happening in the UK these past few months. So awful about that women discussing that poor girls mc this is why I keep this so private couldn't bear ppl discussing my situation like that xxx

  • I actually derived quite a bit of evil pleasure by responding to that question with "actually my husband and I are infertile" and then not breaking eye contact with the woman (waited for her to look away) a little while ago. That stopped this acquaintance of mine and her inappropriate questions dead in her tracks!

  • Haha well do you wish I had the balls in sure i will one day xxx

  • Haha awesome.

  • Sorry realised my message made no sense was walking and texting at the same time. Was meant to say well done you, wish I had the balls to do the same thing xxx

  • Awesome response!

  • Aarrggghhhhh some people!! I wish some people would think before they bloody speak! I got asked this a couple of months ago on a night out by three people that don't even know me that well whilst I had a drink in my hand! I mean really, clearly not now as I was tiddly!! So after my rant, I totally understand where you are coming from!! Idiots!xx

  • I had this the other day! I find this so disrespectful. Felt like telling them to f**k off and actually tell them what's been going on to make them feel awkward lol xx

  • So bloody insensitive! I hate people!!

    Someone in work asked me when I was due the other day (stomach is clearly still swollen fron laparoscopy). She kept saying but yeah, really when is it due, when I said I wasn't.

    People don't understand the pain we go through and their questions/comments can be very hurtful!

    sorry you had to go through this. Sending you hugs


  • That is outrageous! Regardless of the infertility aspect, those kind of comments make women feel awful about themselves and this is what contributes to body complexes. Add in having fertility issues and it's just plain cruel. I hope you told her that her questions were impertinent and very hurtful. She is a disgrace to women. x

  • What an incredibly rude woman! I would not have been polite to her if I'd heard her.

  • Lucylu your line about ' I hate people's made me laugh so true sometimes.

    I'm so sorry that you had someone ask when you are due I simply have no words this is just really unbelievable and so insensitive, I hope you are okay.


  • I'm fine, thank you! It's so unbelievable what people say sometimes. I think we just learn to develop a thick skin!!

    Lots of baby wishes to youxx

  • Hugs to you.its an annoying question.i now just say we are TTC when asked.

  • I got asked this yesterday for the first time since finding out we'd need fertility help. I just said "oh we'd love a family, we're just having a bit of a long road trying". And it made me feel so much better when I said that part out loud because in my mind I've magnified what is happening and been feeling devastated. Hope you are ok 💕 Xxx

  • I can so relate to you when you say that you've magnified it in your mind I think it's important to keep remaining myself of this. Sorry you were asked the same question and that's a fair response to hopefully stop ppl asking again xxx

  • On good days I joked it away on bad days I'd just say "I'm barren" and hold eye contact to make them feel like shit for asking as they should feel. The worst is smug mums who should be made to go on a course for insensitivity if they ask this.

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