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Fertility Network UK
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Saw this and I just had to share it!

Possibly one of the most stupid and unhelpful things a person can say to a couple experiencing infertility... πŸ™„

22 Replies
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ha ha ha...if only id known relaxing would help unblock my fluid filled Fallopian tubes and recover my partners poor semen analysis results... ;) xx

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The worst! Quite possibly the most pointless, unsympathetic and insulting one of the lot. Relax...really, hadn't thought of that!

Definitely worth a slap...or 3 ;)

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My mother in laws favourite saying πŸ˜‚ About as good as her latest one "if you don't calm down (when i was upset) then this ivf is not going to work you know! Grrr lol xx

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My husbands nanna always says stop stressing and it will all work out .

Another comment which is unhelpful is everything happens for a reason.. grr!! 😀

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oh, that phrase - 'everything happens for a reason.' Ugh. Pray, do tell me, what is the reason for this?

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That's cruel as it's attributing blame. Why do people think it's acceptable to say this? You wouldn't tell someone grieving for a lost friend or family member to calm down. Of course you're going to worry. That's normal! x

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I no, as i dont feel guilt over the situation anyway without being told that! Very annoying xx

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haha, stupid joke. You can't just come and say relax! it's hard and other has no idea of what is going on inside an infertile woman. Shame on those who act like this.

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oh agree that this is so freaking annoying

and like when a person has cancer or another very serious disease, no one actually says - relax and it will go away.

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I absolutely hate when people say that to me! It's definitely deserving of a slap that's for sure lol. Xxx

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They are usually placing a condescending hand on your shoulder or arm as this is being said which brings them right into the slap zone.

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I bite my tongue at comments like this lol .. xx

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Very difficult to keep quiet when idiots say things like this! Xxx

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Another of my favourites is "stop thinking about it and it will happen" πŸ–•πŸ»πŸ–•πŸ»πŸ–•πŸ»πŸ–•πŸ»

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Because that's how reproductive science works.... πŸ™„

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Oh I've run out of fingers when counting how many times I've heard this!! Oh really, how clever, hadn't thought of that. Jeez thanks!! Only people I tolerate things like that from are older people because they usually simply don't know what to say and mean no harm xoxo

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You ladies! All your responses made me chuckle!! I Agree with everyone of you though. Other people's comments really can be so unhelpful.

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This statement makes me involuntary eye roll!!! πŸ™„ πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

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Yep that gets me every time and its always from people with kids or they say you can have one of mine. The amount of times I've wanted to poke someone in the eye for that comment lol x

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Oh yes! And everyone has those stories about couples who try for years and don't conceive and then give up, relax and suddenly get pregnant. I have literally never met anyone who has actually had that experience!

I once read an account of a woman who got pregnant in a prison camp during the war and every time someone tells me to 'relax' I feel like relating that story to them. How relaxed can someone be in a prison?!

I often think people want to believe that you are somehow responsible for your own infertility. It is somehow your fault because you are too stressed. It makes them feel more reassured that it will never happen to them. Sort of like the time a woman told my mum, who was suffering from breast cancer, to be more positive, because positive thinking can cure cancer and my mother obviously gave herself cancer through not being more positive. Nope. Infertility is just bad luck. So was my mother's cancer. (She's fine now) And it can happen to anyone. Whether they are relaxed or not.

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My husbands nanna is always complaining about her health issues and it drives everyone bonkers because it's all you ever hear from her.. so when she tells me to calm down I'm always tempted to say you stop moaning and your problems will go away too 😳 Of course I never actually say it ..

Another one is there was clearly a problem with the embryo / fetus πŸ˜’ That one annoys me.. people don't mean it I think it's that they don't know what to say and can do nothing to help . But it is Frustrating x

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It's just goes to show the lack of knowledge and understanding society has on infertility xx

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