Full AF on 2ww, not sure how to cope with a failed cycle.

[ShellyC]

I am 6 days post FET, my first cycle (couldn't have a fresh transfer due to hyperstimulation). Yesterday I started bleeding and have been bleeding heavily since, a full period. My clinic were lovely but agreed it sounded like a period and therefore an unsuccessful cycle. They advised to carry on with the hormones though and still test at 2 weeks which is a further kick in the teeth. I am not coping very well with it, and can't stop crying. I can't concentrate on anything and not sure how to distract myself. I am going to work this afternoon because I think that will make me put on a brave face.

How have other people coped with failed cycles? I don't know how to remain positive when the pain is so raw. I have tried to book with the counsellor at my clinic but the wait for an appointment is a month. I can't decide whether to take time off work, or if actually focussing on something else will be a good distraction. I don't feel ready to see any friends at the moment, and my parents live 5 hours away from me. Husband is being so supportive, but is starting a run of 2 weeks of nightshifts this weekend so we will barely see each other.

Any advice would be really appreciated x

[beauty1984]

I'm so sorry to hear this, it's such a hard thing to go through. I had a failed cycle last year and was devastated, me and my other half both had the day off and we went out shopping to keep our minds off it. I'm the type of person who likes to keep busy so my mind doesn't wonder. I went back to work the next day and found it helped. I think I stayed away from my family for a couple of months as seeing my nieces and nephews was just too hard. You just take all the time you need to process your emotions and keep yourself protected, if that means staying away from family and friends or even social media then do it, they will all understand and hopefully give you the space you need. The most important thing is for you and your other half to support each other and find a way to deal with this heartbreak as a couple. Remember that you are not alone and you are strong. Keep going and don't give up hope x

[Sprinkles86]

When we had our mc last year on our first cycle I went straight back to work as keeping busy seemed to help. I think you should do whatever feels right for you, if you feel like you can hold it together then give it a go. If you feel like curling up in a ball and crying, allow yourself to! I had a fair amount of bleeding around day 5 of that cycle and I broke my heart crying so much as I thought it was over. Keep going on your meds as you never know. Are you on any blood thinners as this could make any bleed seem more than what it is? Xxx

[NDE1987]

Oh I'm so sorry hun. I had a failed cycle last December and i remember i was at my mum's when i started my period. Nothing can prepare you for that but i just had a good old cry and then took time out to grieve and try and get my head into gear. I no it's sounds silly but i felt like we had lost a baby because an embryo was put back in and that was part of me and my husband. We took a few months off to be a normal couple again. We're due to start our next cycle this month. Please be kind to yourself some lovely ladies on here had to remind me that it wasn't my fault and this is one thing we can't control. Big hugs xxx

[DianeArnold Partner Nurse Fertility Network UK]

Hi ShellyC. So sorry to hear this, but be strong and keep up with the pessaries/gel until you have an official result. Try and keep busy if you can, and maybe it will be good to go back to work?? Just make sure you chose who you spend your time with at the moment, perhaps you do have a close friend you can confide in - I hope so. If you still want to speak to a counsellor, there is an organisation called the "British Infertility Counselling Association" bica.net they are specially trained in fertility issues, so might be an idea to have a look at their website. You have to pay for the service, but they are a well respected outfit. You're going a traumatic time at the moment, so I do hope that you can find the support you are looking for. Thinking of you. Diane

[Cinderella5]

Hey, Im so sorry to read this. Unfortunately this happened to me on Christmas eve last year. The day before I had some slight cramps at work and that evening I was crampying really quite badly. I got up thinking that I had no cramps and no bleeding, sadly not to be, I started bleeding. I was so down and not looking forward to the thought of Xmas day with my family. I did find that being in company helped me though, perhaps that was because I was all cried out the day before but I do think the distraction helped me and I would have welcomed getting back work if I could have. I spoke to my clinic and they told me exactly the same as you, to do the test which I already knew was negative but had to relive the disappointment again. All symptoms had gone, sore boobs disappeared. I cant say for sure what would help you, only you can know how you feel. It did take me a few days to gather my thoughts and a bit more time to feel ready to go again so just do whatever you are comfortable doing, there is no right or wrong here. I really feel for you that you wont have your husband around for company in the next few weeks. Know that we are all here for you, Ive found so much support here from everyone! Sending you a big hug!xx

[72cloud9]

So sorry Hun.it is a pain that sadly we have to battle thru and come out fighting the other side. Do u have maybe one good friend u could bare to see? I was the same -kept myself to myself for about a week and then just faced one friend and worked my way thru from there. Big hugs xxx