Had my first scan today and I'm confused

[KittyK]

I've had no bleeding at all and only light cramping. Went to the scan and all he said was "I should be able to see a bit more". He did confirm that there was no baby in my tubes but that was the only conclusive thing he said. He said my lining and uterus were still really thick but he should be able to see a bit more. So they took some blood and should hear back from them later. He said I might be referred to the early pregnancy unit. What does that mean? Did I lose the baby or not? I just can't take anymore of this unknown

I'm guessing it's gone because the doctor didn't try and console me or reassure me but he didn't give me answers either.

[misswinky34]

😮 what a limbo to be in! Rubbish attitude from the staff- 😔(Hugs) what did they say they could see? A sac or pole or anything? Usually they ask you to come back I a week for a repeat scan. At least if u get a referral to epu they may see you straight away 🙏🙏 fingers crossed for you Hun xxxx

[KittyK in reply to misswinky34]

Thanks for you reply hun. I feel like we're spiralling in limbo with no clue. He didn't say. He literally said "have you bled?" I said no, not even spotting except for like a light dash 4 weeks ago. He said he couldnt see an ectopic and that was good then he froze the screen on my uterus and said it's still thick but he should be able to see more. That's it literally. I guess we have to wait to see what the bloods say but I'm guessing if he didn't mention anything then it's gone? I've heard of babies being missed but I think I'm at the point where if it was there they'd see it surely? I had my 5 day embryo transfer on the 13th of June so that makes me about 7 weeks so it's probably a lost cause this time isn't it?

[tess71 in reply to KittyK]

your blood tests will confirm yay or nay, they may have to do more than one to track the levels of HCG. he could be a small grower....fingers crossed for you hun, the waiting is awful, indescribable...hang in there x

[tess71 in reply to tess71]

by the way...absolutely agree with MISSWINKY. really rubbish staff attitude...id say something at your next visit.

[misswinky34 in reply to KittyK]

I don't know petal 😔 Please let us know what the results are. Shambolic treatment from the doctor 😡 Grrr. When j had my first scan she was making me lay on my side and at one point was really digging in by my hip bone as said the baby was in a awkward position and was really to the left, so maybe the Bean was just being a bit camera shy. I'm not giving false hope, but unless you have some completely reabsorbed any pregnancy, and it's not tubal, I would have thought you would have experienced something? 🤔 Either way I'm saying little prayers for you 🙏 XXXX

[Hidden]

Hoping you get good news later, and agreed horrid to be left in limbo X

[KittyK]

I rang them and they said the specialist hasn't spoken to them yet but they've seen the results and everything was low so to stop taking all my meds. They said the specialist would ring me tomorrow to confirm my next step. I feel gutted and yet at the same time I knew this would happen cause it was all going too easy and everyone was telling me not to be so negative but I was right.

It's horrible that I've turned into this horrible bitter person but I was right not to get excited. And everyone keeps saying I'm such a good person for donating eggs and everything but I don't feel like a good person I don't feel anything good. If one more person tells me "you're young you'll be fine" I'll scream!

Now I have to wait a minimum of two months for my body to 'get back to normal' but there is no normal. There isn't anything. I won't feel normal and I won't feel better until I can try again. I don't know how I'm going to survive the next few months of a job I hate, with nothing to look forward to, not even wanting to do the things I like and feeling like I work so hard and at the end of the day we never seem to have a penny to even so anything to distract ourselves from this misery. Now we don't have our baby either. Sorry to be negative I guess but that's how I feel right now. There is nothing that makes me want to get out of bed in the morning as it is and this is just the tip of the iceberg. I do not see how the next few months are going to work. At least when I as having treatment there was a reason for it or something to aim for but there's not anymore. We haven't even paid for our frozen embryos yet so money is just making everything more impossible and miserable.

Sorry for the rant. I only meant to let you know what happened but I think I went overboard. I know I'm lucky enough to have some frozen but honestly I don't feel lucky at all I feel hopeless and I really don't see how I'm going to drag myself out of bed for months for a life that's empty, with nothing to look forward to or aim for that isn't impossibly out of reach.

[Daisy14]

I am sorry to hear this and by the sounds of it you were treated with no sensitivity at all. It's totally rubbish and at a later date worth a complaint. Shocking.

This is a place you can rant and I think many of us get it and won't tell you to 'think positive', 'just relax' or make any guarantees, but just hopefully offer some comfort.

You've had the most awful of days and it will take time to recover so rant and rage all you want. The way you feel today will pass I promise, in time. It may be slow, but you will move forwards. Start tomorrow and take a day at a time.

Be super lovely to yourself and I really hope you get a little of your hope back before too long.

Xx

[misswinky34]

😔 xxx

[Hidden]

Thinking of you. Probs doesn't feel like it now but things get easier with time X

[pm27]

I'm so sorry you've had such a horrid day. I just wanted you to know I'm thinking of you.

[Sunny_skies]

So sorry sweetheart. I felt exactly the same when I miscarried. It does get easier I promise. I am thinking of you. You can always PM me whenever you want to talk. Xx

[tess71]

its indescribable how empty you feel when they confirm that there is nothing there, you will probably feel in and out of limbo for a while, existing but not partaking. each day does get easier to live with. you have to go through a grieving process and you and your hubby need to spend some close time together without well meaning but not wanted advice. its you two who move forward. do the things that make you feel good and be with the friends who make you laugh and get clinic appointment s and thoroughly discuss with them what went awry. discuss the way you were treated, not being funny but I would not want to go back there if that's how was treated the first time..... put a plan of action together both on the clinic side of things and financial....if you have something to aim for it really helps and you find ways of making it happen. I really feel for you....my friends were telling me not to be negative and that if I felt pregnant then I was so I kept hoping eventhough a little bit of me felt something wasn't right.....and when its all confirmed, the knowing does not make it any better...its hard, its very hard to keep positive and people will say the wrong things meaning well. for me, putting an action plan helped me to keep positive...I hate my job too but it pays the bills so for the time being its a necessary evil. I am trying to retrain but it will take a few years yet before I can start again. I hope when you read this it has been a better day for you. x