Test results have doubled, not good. Was 15.9 now just under 30. They now want to retest me on Friday, my birthday, won't do test on any other day. Gobsmacked because no one told me last week that another retest so soon is a possibility, I was told it you've most likely have gone down but if it had gone up the doctor would decide if need to intervene, not keep retesting me. Had I known, I could have had today's test yesterday and have made sure it wouldn't coincide with my birthday. Happy birthday to me, get to sit in traffic for a few hours and wait all day for a call to tell me the confirmation that my pregnancy is over. I appreciate it's not their fault, but it's really shit, that will be a memory not just this year, but every birthday and that's something they don't appreciate. They kept asking me if it's ok to go in Friday, but when I said no, they told me it's there's no other test option, wouldn't even agree to using a home test first. Fully aware of why they want to retest, and no, that doesn't in anyway make it any better. Yet again I have no choice in what's happened or how it's dealt with because until you are in this position, no one wants to talk about "what happens next" even when it's a very real possibility. So in a nutshell, my hell is continuing 😢
The hell continues.: Test results have... - Fertility Network UK
The hell continues.
Oooh hon all this waiting and not knowing is hell for you. I don't know what to say, just guess I wanted you to know you're not alone x
That's what's so incredibly painful, we know it's not good, but the pain of it all is just being prolonged. Basically, we're waiting to find out if it went up, and then went down, or if there is a problem ie silent miscarriage or eptopic. I don't even think it is that from the bleeds and clots I've had (which is now subsiding), but to get a phone call either way on my birthday is just additional cruelty. Bet you any money anyone who has suffered a miscarriage even if they don't remember the exact date, they'll remember where and what happened. I don't want that memory on my birthday. Every bloody year! I wish they had been more honest with me when I'd asked what you've happen in either scenario last week, but yet again they didn't. I appreciate it's not their fault, they do as they're told to, but they wouldn't even tell me what you've happen on Friday til I insisted on answers. You know when you just think like saying stop with the sugar coating it's not helping anyone! Thank you for replying hun, take care Xxxxxx
I've come to the conclusion that this is day to day for the people working in the clinic. I'm sure that if they had been through it they would understand. Or perhaps it's their was of dealing with the many disappointments which I'm sure are more than joys.
If I'd have known how emotionally hard this was I don't know if I'd have carried on.
I'm about 10 days from my FET knowing they froze day 2 and last time most died day 3. I have a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach that they will not survive and more tests need to be done to know why.
In the meantime, my life is on hold.
I don't feel like making love to my lovely hubby who is my saving grace in everything. Which makes me feel bad as he's doing everything to support us both
Crap situation and I agree we just need straight answers
I asked what if it fails and was told not to think about that.
God I'd love to think of anything else, as we all would
I have faith, I believe in just struggling with why an I any better than all the girls on here who are going through hell. Why should it work for me and not for them. And, maybe I'm not meant to be Anyones mummy.
Literally.... God knows 
Hang on there.
If it was me. I would not go on my birthday, keep nice days ( which we need) nice.
Take back some control, 24 hours is nothing !!!
Stick up for you, the rest is out of your control but this little part, this most important part, is yours
Xx
Both myself and partner have now had several phone calls with two different nurses, basically there is no other test option other than Friday, but they'll call with results Monday instead. When then again asked if I'm ok to go in Friday I said no but you've just told me there is no other option. She didn't know what to say other than their preplanned lines of "its for the best for you" crap. They are not able to do tests on Saturday and apparently Monday is too late.
I'm so very sorry you have this worry on your shoulders and can empathise with your pain and worry.
I of course still have some hope, and pray I'll one day bring home one of our babies, but the fear that it may never happen is very very real feeling, so please know that you're also not alone there. I will pray really bloody hard your fet brings your dreams to reality!!!
Talking of more tests, we've already talked of moving to another clinic for another opinion. I'm not really happy with the clinics administration situations nor their attitude at times, so I don't think staying there is suitable anymore.
I did a test yesterday afternoon, hadn't drunk much so figured why not try. It was barely visible, blink and you'd miss it. Did another this morning and it's negative, so I'm thinking of telling them I'm just not coming in on my birthday. Like you say, take back some control. We've had none of that for a long time.
Hey, I would!
Do something nice with hubby instead, it's your birthday tomorrow. Thinking about you x
The other half has just nipped out to shops. Got myself in a right state earlier panicking about "what if there's something wrong and we don't know", silly thoughts I know, because even if it's not going down they aren't going to do anything about it over the weekend, they told me they'll just keep monitoring me and maybe do a scan at 6wks (after I insisted on answers, not just well we'll see crap response). So, he's gone to buy another test, said if it's negative tomorrow, which we know it will be, then we're not going to the hospital as it is obviously dropping and if they need to retest next week fine, but I'm so thankful for your advice of taking the control. I'm so sick of not having any control over our lives. I need just a bit of time to not be stabbed and poked and prodded and just be. Won't exactly be happy day, the what should have been is forever there, but I need this day to not be at that hospital.
Thank you hun, you're a gem Xxxxxx
Hey, you're welcome. I wish I had taken control the day of my EC and I didn't. So now I've decided that I am one of loads of woman blindly following my doctors advice. We need to speak up, get the info we need from them, keep asking questions. It's such a Shame we need to Google! God knows those going private should have the info!!!
Thank God for this group xx
Yes that's use. My sister only yesterday (she was pretty angry with the clinic) said if they insist on telling you not to Google anything, then why bloody tell you nothing! I do often feel like we're treated like children, or as if we can't handle too much info, where actually for me at least being armed with information can be so useful and a great comfort that I at least know some answers. There are enough unknowns in all of this to last a lifetime so I'd at least like to arm myself with the facts of what's happening.
The test as we all knew, was negative this morning, so I didn't go for the blood test. Left them a message and not heard back so they can't be concerned. It's a pretty horrible birthday. Should be cuddling my baby, then I thought other half would be hugging my tummy talking to our little bean, alas neither to be. But I'm so glad I didn't go into hospital today Xxxxxx
Happy birthday!!
Look at kraft try do one thing nice today, anything, go out for coffee and cake. Go for a walk with hubby. Call up your best mate. Something, anything, so that next year you'll remember that a little part of today was lovely despite everything else.
Sending you a massive hug and loads of birthday smiles xx
We're going out for a walk, other half is convinced Annabelle stopped the hideous downpour of rain that's been happening here all morning so we can go out lol.
Thank you again hun xx
Hiya
I had the same in November. I just wanted it over but they insisted on testing. I was at a private clinic over 2.5 hours drive away. I managed to get my GP to do the bloods & I posted to the clinic. I was so grateful as didn't want the stress of driving and knew in my heart it was over. It took 3 x tests before they confirmed I had a Biochemical Pregnancy. I totally feel your pain.
I hope you husband has organized something for your birthday and make a rule....You don't talk about Infertility. We often go away on weekends and holiday and pretend we are on honeymoon again.....life before Fertility ruled it.
xxxxx
Unfortunately hun, money won't allow nice things at the mo such as going away or even a day out. Walk along the beach and maybe even a cinema trip is about our limit. Financially everything hit the fan after we'd paid for this last round 😢.
I'm thinking now of just doing home tests tomorrow and if it's not positive just telling them I'm not coming in as will have obviously reduced somewhat (they only show above 25 and my result was only 29.5 today). I'm so sorry you have suffered this too and thank you for making me feel not quite so bloody stupid for feeling like I can't face the journey and results on my birthday. Any other bloody day would be bad enough, but my birthday!! After everything we've suffered, this past year especially! It's just so cruel isn't it.
Thinking of you xx
Sorry to hear about your money situation. I can't imagine money stress on top of Fertility Stress. It is one thing I am very thankful for. Though sadly we have thrown money at fertility things & gained nothing. We were up at hospital last week & I seen a pregnant girl smoking outside. She was rough as anything. I got so upset. The world is not fair.
Snogging in public is free!! Pretend like you just met & don't give a hoot what people think. Be a nice free birthday giggle.
I did try the "I'll do a home test" but they kept saying no. My NHS Biochemical didn't have a prob with me doing a home test......maybe prinate places want to cover their back.
Thinking of you loads
xxxxx
This is an nhs hospital fee saying facility, it's where we had our nhs cycle but obviously had to pay after we lost Annabelle from that. I don't get it, because another person who goes there for different treatment has only ever had usual pregnancy tests, and no sunday when they advised me over the phone to stop the pessaries they said take a pregnancy test, but when I said I thought I had to go in she changed her tune to oh yes you should go in. I'm really thinking of just taking a test and if it's negative just telling them I'm not going in, because it's pointless if it's negative and just causing us both more stress.
After the news last week I very sadly and with the heaviest of hearts, had to give up my job, I just can't go back to working there physically or emotionally, it's a kids hairdressers and can't swap to adult hairdressing as not allowed to work or use colour as it's detrimental to fertility and pregnancy so can't take the risk 😢.
Oh to see that lady, especially outside the hospital must have been soul crushing hun, I'm so sorry for you guys, truly it's hideous.
My poor fiancé is crushed beyond belief, we're having to move as the landlord is moving back, which will wipe the rest of our already dwindled savings. Other half had time off after Annabelle died for his grief, and to look after me when I had the hysteroscopy etc last time (he works offshore so very difficult to arrange). One agency actually refused to take him back for months because guys in the same position in the past have needed to be sent home and it costs them a fortune to do so. The industry has taken a huge battering of late which has thrown everyone in the same situation, no one knows where the next job is coming from. He's desperately trying to find other work but getting "not right for the position" replies, basically he's over qualified. Few ex colleagues who have retired a little early have recently told him they found the same problem when they tried to get a more regular job closer to home, so we appreciate he's far from the only one, but damm it's hard. I'm so exhausted and I know it's hormonal and emotional, but it's just adding to my guilt of not working. Did very quick food shop and to took some flowers to Annabelle's memorial this morning. It's completely wiped me! 😢
I thought the higher the number - the better it was? I'be not had a pregnancy test like that and have only done the ones you get at home.
Unless it's concern for your health, I don't see why you couldn't go in a day or two later, of course they need to look after you it's their duty of care.
I've had some really horrible birthday's in the past but I understand why you don't want that memory. To be honest a walk on the beach, sounds lovely to me!
Take care of yourself xx
It's no where near high enough hun, which I expected would be the case considering my symptoms I know little bean has already not made it. However, the retesting is because there's no one available on Saturday to do it and they don't want to wait til Monday as easier for them to work out scores on 48hrs
So does your score determine what they do next as to how to treat you, whether that be medication etc?
So sorry to hear you are going through a hard time x
Yes I believe so, after some resistance I finally got an answer as to what would happen if the levels don't drop. Said they would continue to monitor me, ie every other day, if still no drop they book a scan for 6wks, which isn't til next Friday, to see what's going on ie where the sack is. Apparently then the docs would decide on if intervention is required. Going in tomorrow seems futile, pregnancy tests are now showing negative so I know it has dropped as regular tests won't show if it's below 25, so it's already below what it was Wednesday morning.
Keep me informed as to what happens x
I want to say how sorry I am but that won't, I want to say all sorts of things but it won't take away the slightest pain you are gong through. Instead am sending you a massive silent hug, silent because most of us k ow what you are gong through and even without words feel your pain so this hug is for you both to just let everything out.
You probably will hit what feels like rock bottom and can't see the way out or any silver lining but I want to say that there is a way out whoever you were before this all started and took everything away those people and that love is still there, find it, hold it and nurture it back to health.
You will be stronger now than ever before, be good to yourself take time to grieve, be angry, hate the world if you have too but don't loose you, each day is another step and another step leads to a gentle walk....
Hope that makes sense thinking of you both xxxx
It does make sense hun and we very much appreciate it. Sadly, we can't return to who we once were before all this. Loosing our daughter last year changed us. It's not our only loss as a couple obviously, and it's hard to explain. I've been told it must have been much worse than 'just a miscarriage', but I hate those words. There's no just in any of it. I could never take away from the pain a person feels from a miscarriage. It's not worse, it's just very different. But it's changed us.
We do still have hope hun, we've already spoken about more Ivf, but at a different clinic for a second opinion and a fresh start, when we can afford it that is 😢.
Take care
Xxxxxx
Hugs again to you....
The money side you will find it, we were adamant that we were only going for 1 private funded cycle and we are now embarking on our 5th ( no positives and all fresh, this is our very last go but using DE hoping with some to freeze ) with a wedding in 2017.
You be surprised how you find it.
It will
Come when you least expect it.
Xxxx
Sending the biggest of hopes to you for your de cycle! I can imagine that the hopes of some to freeze will help ease just a tiny bit some of the pressure, maybe it doesn't, but our last round they'd put me on a different drug to get more eggs to freeze and I know that filled me with a lot of hope for a positive outcome. Sadly the drug worked even worse than the previous drugs, so we didn't get any to freeze. Guess that's another reason we're struggling with this now, because there's no plan for trying again.
Sending you the very biggest and best hopes for a positive outcome to you guys Xxxxxx
I want to say I'm so sorry for your loss. Thinking of you and sending you a big hug. And I hope that you manage to have a nice birthday, given the circumstances. Perhaps when this is less raw, go and see your nice GP and maybe she could run some further tests to find out the causes of these loses. To suffer this amount of loses and say there's no valid cause is not good enough. You deserve some answers (not that makes the loss any easier). Today put yourself first and enjoy spending time with your other half 💞 x x x
I've had a ton of testing over the last decade. Inc a fair few and hysteroscopy biopsies after loosing Annabelle last year. Everything for me is clear. We are going to go for a second opinion where I imagine they'll now want to look at nk cells.
The natural losses were very early, nothing to test as such, and put down to other half's antibody issues. Annabelle was a placental abruption, no cause found as with most placental abruptions, just a tragic accident found in 1 in 100 pregnancies. This little one of obviously won't know either.
Xxxxxx
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