Waiting for results.....anxious

[SuzanneAM]

When sitting in that doctors room at 19 I never new the roller coaster of a journey that was ahead, now 10 years later at 29 wanting to start a family with my husband, I've had two miscarriages, my 2nd was a medical miscarriage awful experience, I'm awaiting results from the miscarriage clinic, my thyroid results have come back clear, awaiting the rest which will take 6 weeks. I'm waiting on results from my Smear test as I was bleeding(spotting) for a week but I don't have periods, therefore my fertility clinic told be to have a smear to be safe and also asked me to take a pregnancy test even though I con't get pregnant without egg donation, this came up negative (which I knew it would).

I should have my smear results by next Friday and my blood results from the miscarriage clinic by the end of November. I've sent my embryo declaration form into the clinic and asked whether they can provisional book me in for my medication and embryo transfer to be done in December. Again it is just a waiting and anxiety for my results.

[pm27]

I find the waiting worse than the treatment. I've also got a history of anxiety and depression and have stayed on anti depressants since our failed first cycle as a precautionary measure as I can't go through being ill with that as well as coping with the treatment. I've found writing things down and using mindfulness, CBT and ACT have helped to manage my anxieties.

I've had 2 miscarriages from natural conceptions, the second one was a missed miscarriage discovered at the 12 week scan. It was the worst episode of my life and I too had medical management, it went on for weeks. They did recurrent miscarriage screening and it showed nothing of significance so they said it was probably due to egg quality due to my age and being a twin pregnancy the risks of miscarriage were increased. Over a year later we went private after the NHS consultant suggested we did so and had lots more tests, my AMH levels are good for my age but hubby's sperm isn't good so we had to have ICSI. So it was probably be a combination of factors for us.

After 2 failed cycles with my eggs we went for round 3 with an egg sharing donor as I'm over 40 and that's the standard protocol. Unfortunately ET had to be abandoned as my womb lining was shrinking so we've got 2 Frosties waiting. Hopefully we can have FET before Christmas.

I know people describe it as a roller coaster of emotions but in my opinion that does not cover the heartache we've been through over the last few years. It's such a tough journey and this forum has been so helpful and supportive. We've all got different stories but we have a much better idea of what it's like to be going through the tests, waiting and treatment, more waiting...

Have you looked at The Donor Conception website? I found it answered a lot of my questions about bonding with baby/babies from donor eggs.

I hope all your tests come back clear and you can start treatment ASAP.