12 week scan result: vanishing twin syndrome (trigger warning - baby loss)

[helodie]

I’m unable to sleep so thought I’d come here and try to process a little of what’s happened for us over the last 12 hours.

For context, I had 2 embryos transferred in October and both stuck, 2 heartbeats seen of equal size embryos at 6+1.

Yesterday we had our 12 week scan (at 13+1) and unfortunately one of the twins stopped growing, the midwife thinks at about 7 weeks.

We did however see our beautiful surviving baby who was moving and looked incredible. Unfortunately she was unable to take the nuchal measurement as he/she was never in the right position despite trying all methods for about an hour. So we are back at the hospital in a few hours.

She prodded and poked at us both to the point where I started to worry she might hurt the baby (it was certainly uncomfortable for me) but perhaps I’m being silly and overprotective.

So yep, that’s where I find myself this evening. Mega insomnia, fasting before a blood glucose test at 9am and worried about my remaining baby.

I’m feeling a sense of loss for the baby I thought I would have. I really got used to and excited about the idea of twins over Christmas, as did my DH, and it feels ungrateful to say I feel sad about it whilst also being so happy to have one twin remaining. It feels very complex.

I’m due to work later today and I am really not feeling it but have no choice (self employment woes). Perhaps it will distract me.

Has anyone else been through this?

We imagined telling family lastnight but I just couldn’t bring myself to do it.

[Hidden]

Not quite the same....but so sorry for your loss.

We had 2 gestational sac in our 2nd scan. One with a healthy looking foetus and the other empty.

As we never saw the 2nd baby or heartbeat we didn't grieve for it as such. But the stress and worry about the survival of the remaining baby was very tough during those early scan waits.

Also we couldn't do some screening like harmony as it could give false readings for the vanished twin....

I am 29 weeks now - all subsequent scans have gone fine. Nuchal measurement was normal so I am low risk.

Fingers crossed for you - but baby 2 has made it to 12 weeks which is great news.

Again sorry for your loss xxx

[ki50]

Hi Helodie. We went through something similar. 2 heartbeats at 6 weeks and both were measuring within a day of each other. The clinic offered us a scan at 8 weeks as well because of the twins and at that one we found out we had lost one. Similarly to what you've said, it's very conflictong emotionally, the sadness of losing one and the relief that one was still ok, the guilt at maybe feeling more sad for the loss than being able to be happy... All is still well with the one little fighter though but the stress still remains between scans. I also couldn't have the harmony test or the nipt one due to how far along the vanishing twin had made it but managed to get a consultant to do the 12 week and 20 week scans, she did a few extra measures etc to check for other markers of downs etc so perhaps you can ask for the same. My partner had also got super excited and told his family straight away that it was twins so then we had to tell them that one hadn't made it.. it's made me not really want to tell anyone else about the pregnancy so I understand how you're feeling x

Wish you all the best with the rest of your pregnancy and sorry for your loss xx

[Imperfect89]

hey!

Sorry to hear your news. A loss is a loss lovey, allow yourself to feel however you need to without guilt. No baby is the same and we love them all different regardless of how far along they are. Being sad doesn’t take anything away from your baby. Set yourself some time for both emotions. It will get easier in time 🖤 xxxx

[DianeArnold Partner]

Hi Helodie. Oh dear this does happen, but all is well with the second one, so no reason to suspect anything bad. You will go on to have a healthy little one, I'm sure. Good luck and I shall be thinking of you. Diane