Feeling pressure to tell work....

I am 17 weeks and feeling a good bit of pressure to tell my work about my pregnancy...I want to leave it until after my 20 week scan.

They are planning 2023 schedule and who I am managing etc and I feel guilty like I am telling a lie each time I am in a meeting discussing it....

I am due some bonus and back pay so was nervous to announce too early so I could get this through...and wondering if my bonus payments will still get paid during my mat leave.....

Not sure if anyone else has this feeling?

[JA-fnuk Partner]

May be your work has a policy that covers this - get in touch with your HR Dept and discuss it confidentially with them Also take a look at fertilitynetworkuk.org Employment Issues for guidance

Take care

Janet

[Hidden in reply to JA-fnuk]

Thanks Janet! Will take a look

[JuicyLu]

legally it’s 15 weeks before you plan to go on mat leave. I understand the pressure, I felt it too,especially as I was applying for promotion at the time and felt like a fraud but honestly it is totally fine - you are not doing anything wrong and legally (and morally imo) they can’t say anything when they do find out. You can say you were waiting for your 20 week scan to disclose and anyone with anything about them would understand. If they don’t they aren’t worth worrying about anyway! I finally told work when I was about 23/24 weeks as I was going off at 39 weeks (I had annual leave booked for two weeks before so I finished work at 37 weeks, but they didn’t know why I’d booked this until I disclosed my mat leave 🤣). Honestly you have lots of rights as a pregnant person and more than anyone you’ve earned the right to disclosed only when you’re ready x

[Hidden in reply to JuicyLu]

Thanks so much - this is all true of course! I think it is a confidence thing, thinking that I am letting people down!

[WaitingTee]

I feel your stress! I was pregnant when I started my current position (after a transfer from another branch) and was very nervous about making the announcement, that people would write me off, not introduce me to external contacts etc. I waited until I felt more ready (which was week 19 but ymmv) and tried to focus on depersonalising it: you plan for 2023 and what the position you’re occupying should do, and if someone else comes in as interim it doesn’t need to change things.

In fairness everyone responded really well to my announcement once I found the strength to do it. I’d second posters above -do it when you feel ready, you’ve got strong rights, and people will adapt!

Good luck x

[Hidden in reply to WaitingTee]

Thanks so much - these comments are helping.

I do love my job and have a lot I want to achieve when I come back from maternity.

You are right - it could be that the news is well received.

Good advice thanks so much.

[Somoe]

I’m a couple of weeks behind you and decided to hold off until after 20 weeks. Although I was considering mentioning it after 16 weeks, I realised I was not too comfortable with that and have decided to wait. Have you decided?

p.s. This waiting for 20 weeks is hard, so tempting to book another scan! 😊

[Hidden in reply to Somoe]

Yes it has been really hard to hold off - we have another 2 weeks before our 20 week scan - I feel quite massive, but some friends tell me I can hide the bump with my biggest jumper for another while!