Looking for some hope before starting round 3 of ivf

[JoP32]

Hi! My names Jo. We’re a fair way into our fertility journey which, up until now has been unsuccessful.

Both my partner & I were told independently (before we met) that due to various medical issues we’d need ivf if we were to have children. About two years ago however we fell pregnant naturally but sadly had a missed miscarriage at 9 weeks.

Six months later we completed our first fresh ivf cycle and were lucky enough to get one 3day embryo which was transferred and three frozen blasts. Unfortunately we had a BFN for the 3day transfer.

Six months later we did our first FET and got a BFP!! We were over the moon! Sadly though there was again no heartbeat at the 7 week scan.

We were planning on doing our second FET this November but in August we fell pregnant again naturally and this time there was a heartbeat at the 7 week scan!!! We even made it to the 12 week scan and were told everything looked good. We couldn’t believe it - our little miracle! We started telling people that afternoon, then later that week the screening tests came back - high chance of chromosome abnormality. We had the NIPT the next day, results back the following week confirmed a 99.9% chance of chromosome abnormality. We had the Amnio 2 weeks later which categorically diagnosed it, then we lost our little girl the following week. We were 17 weeks by this stage. Devastated doesn’t really cover it.

We decided to get straight back into the ivf as needed to look forward to enable ourselves to heal. Had our first appointment last week to find my AMH has dropped from 9.1 to 3.7 in 18 months. Now I’m freaking out about this, I wasn’t expecting my egg reserve to drop off so dramatically in 18 months.

We’re also doing PGS this time however because of my low AMH I’m now terrified we’ll end up with no embryos for transfer because a) we won’t get any eggs this time b) none will be good enough quality to get to day 5 for testing and c) if we do get to day 5, what if all of them have chromosome issues?! 🤦🏽‍♀️

We’re bracing ourselves to restart this rollercoaster of a journey, still not fully healed from the other rollercoasters we’ve been on this past couple of years but conscious that time is running out (I’m now 39). Im way more anxious than hopeful this time around (as you can probably tell from my worries re. PGS) probably because we know more of what to expect and have so far at least, only experienced loss & heartache at the end of many weeks and months of hope.

I guess I’m just needing and looking for some hope atm as mine is currently rather faded.

I need to pick myself back up and get positive again before we start the next round. Any and all stories that can give me and anyone reading this post that will provide that little bit of hope that things will work out in the end if we Just. Keep. Going would be very very gratefully received!

Cheers, Jo xx

[1988M]

Hi Jo,

Only the women on here understand the struggle and heartache about failed IVF cycles, but there are also posts about successful pregnancies give you hope and the motivation to keep going.

I have an understanding of PGS as I’m going through PGD, I have a genetic disorder in which there is a 50% percentage it will be inherited by my children. As my gene mutation is an X linked chromosome if I naturally conceive and had a boy I would 100% miscarry as males don’t survive with this disorder and if I have a girl with the condition she will be a carrier like me. I wouldn’t want to pass the gene disorder down to her as I wouldn’t want her to go through what I’m going through. When you’re going through PGS try to remember that you’re doing it to make sure your embryos don’t have the genetic condition that you do and that you’ve done all you can to make sure it doesn’t happen.

I know it is a big gamble as yes, all the embryos could have the chromosome abnormality but there is also the chance that they are healthy. As hard as it is please try and remain positive, although there are gonna be upsetting and emotional draining times.

I’m so sorry for your loss, re: the pregnancy losses, especially the baby girl at 17 weeks, it must have been horrific, I can’t begin to imagine what that must be felt like. I had a failed PGD cycle in which I did have 1 viable male embryo so I made it to implantation and also got a positive pregnancy result. However, just like you at the 7 week scan I learnt that I must have miscarried between the test and the scan as my baby boy wasn’t there anymore, just an empty space on the monitor where he should have been. It’s heartbreaking and you feel like a failure and I felt worse for my husband as I felt like I failed him.

However when you want something so badly you have to try your hardest to pick yourself up and find a way for your next cycle. Having a good support network from your partner and family is great, especially when you’re having a really down day. I’m now going through my second cycle, I had 2 embryos sent away for biopsy and they’re both females however one does unfortunately have the gene disorder I have so is not viable. Therefore, again I only have 1 embryo suitable for transfer which I’m going to start taking oestrogen tablets in January/February time. I have no idea what lies ahead and if this cycle is even going to be successful but my husband has been great, he’s positive and wants me to be too, although he understands that after last time I’m terrified. We want a baby so badly so however much it hurts we will be ready for the journey as you can’t give up! That’s the advice I can give you to just try and see the end goal.

I hope this helps, good luck hun!

Xx

[JoP32 in reply to 1988M]

Hi 1988M. Thank you so much for replying - I’ve only just seen it (didn’t get any notifications someone had replied!)

Thank you for your words of encouragement and also for taking the time.

I am feeling slightly more positive than when I wrote the post which is good. Christmas has been both a hard time - reminding us all it’s just another year where we seem to stand still whilst other people’s children grow older - but also a good distraction!

I wish you all the luck with your good embryo! It’s great you got one that is good to use! Please keep me posted with how it goes - we’re starting our Fresh cycle in January so won’t be too far behind you.

Thanks again and wishing you every success for your next round! Xx

[SerrineV]

I’m here for you.

For so long I’ve tried to stay positive, put on a brave face, and try to be happy for others. I’ve been there for friends’ baby showers, birthday parties, etc. Always with a smile, even when I’d been through another failed IVF cycle. Then I felt I just couldn't be positive and happy for others anymore. My friend and business partner told me she was pregnant. At 45 years old and from her own egg! I’m even younger! Like me, she’s been single for long...But she has her baby, and for me at that time, after long years ttc and 3 IVF cycles, I still didn't have! The unfairness of it was swallowing me.. We decided to seek for further options. Paying out of pocket was no more availale for us, so we searched for clinics abroad. Found Biotexcom which gave us hope. I'm with you – surrogacy like any other infertility treatment is aimed to make people happy with kids. This is the most important thing about it. No matter how our kids come to this world. Everyone deserves to be a parent!