Stepson won’t use toilet or potty for poo

[BeccaL1987]

I’m really hoping someone can help as I am at my wits end. I have a stepson who is 5 years and 7 months. He had a traumatic birth and has been left with an undiagnosed brain injury, a speech delay and partial hearing loss.

I have been trying to toilet train him for 2 years, and have managed to get him to urinate in a toilet with no issues. However, he outright refuses to use the toilet or potty for poo. My husband and I know the signs when he needs to go, and will encourage him to use the toilet/potty, and he is able to both say and sign “poo” but he will actively refuse and shout and scream “No” until we have to intervene or he ends up having an accident. He would rather mess himself or go in a nappy than use the toilet.

We have tried rewarding him, positive reinforcement and encouraging him to use the toilet, but he just refuses to go.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

[Yaleamanda]

Personally if are other underlying conditions I would keep on with the nappy and not stress over it or him for that matter.

[BeccaL1987 in reply to Yaleamanda]

Thanks for your comment. My other issue is that I know it’s causing problems at school and I wonder how long we leave it before we go to a medical professional.

[Yaleamanda in reply to BeccaL1987]

If he soiling you need to treat it effectively Have a read and watch if these

ERIC are a bowel and bladder charity, great website and fab helpline/email

eric.org.uk

There is also bladder and bowel UK they are similar to ERIC. bbuk.org.uk

NHS poo nurses taking about movicol and how to use

thepoonurses.uk/

Great article

bornready.uk/blog/the-mecha...

Different video about constipation

youtu.be/pNagQup0Upg(Not working as expected?)

[BeccaL1987 in reply to Yaleamanda]

thank you. I’ve contacted ERIC, but I’ll definitely look at the other resources you’ve mentioned. Thanks so much .

[PinkSciFi]

If you haven’t already, then I’d speak with your GP and/or health visitor.

There is some generic advice I can offer - things like trying to get him to sit on the toilet for 10 mins after every meal (maybe with a nappy on at first - then the once that habit is established with a nappy with a hole in it, then no nappy). But I think you need advice from a medical professional who understands his underlying issues first. It’s possible this is something he physically, mentally or emotionally just simply can’t do right now.

[BeccaL1987]

Unfortunately I can’t take him to a doctor as I’m not his mother although I really think he needs medical intervention at this point. We have tried sitting on the toilet/potty with a nappy on and doing it in stages, and that worked for a little while, but then it went back to him not using the toilet at all. I’ve run out of ways to make the process successful, but by the same token I feel it’s detrimental to him to be in nappies at almost 6 years old. I’m completely stuck.

[PinkSciFi in reply to BeccaL1987]

I agree about needing medical intervention - I think you’ve done everything that you reasonably can without it. I assume your partner is the biological parent - can they not take him to GP?

It really sounds like you are working your socks off for your step-son - my heart goes out to you. But if neither parent will take him to the GP you may be stuck.

[OlivesYou]

you must find out if the boy is constipated, what are his poops like there is a Bristol Stool Chart you can use online to find out if he is constipated using the chart.

Once you have discovered how to soften up those poos, one of the best investments we ever made was buying a Nintendo switch which our son plays exclusively while sitting on the potty. He is not allowed to play it Unless he is trying to do a poo. He was so very excited to be able to have a Nintendo switch and pick his own games that getting him to sit on the toilet became easier and easier.

Best to you mom- don’t lose hope. Persistence is key