School Residential Trip

[Quink]

My son is 9 and has always suffered from an overactive bladder. He has to really rush to the toilet when he needs to go. At school he's allowed to leave class without asking whenever he needs to and he wears padded under pants which help if he doesn't quite make it in time, but they won't contain a full accident. At night he is still very wet and In the morning, his nappy is always soaking and sometimes even leaks onto his sheets . Over the years I think we have tried just about everything. We have tried bio feedback, bedwetting alarms, desmopressin, tolterodine and numerous incentives an charts. He is currently using oxybutynin, which helps a little bit. What is really worrying us is that he has a school residential in May. I know that he would like to go, but is it a realistic proposition or should I just keep him at home this time?

[Yaleamanda]

No let him go and speak to the school about the care he will require whilst he is away. Schools are used to this sort of thing when they run residential trips and past experience has shown us that it works well.

[Kellybob7]

Let him go! I had the same worries with my 9 year old. My experience of this is that schools are well equipped to handle this - he won’t be the only one. They have procedures in place so that it can be handled in a supportive and discrete way. Talk to school ahead of the trip so you and your son can be comfortable with the plan in place. Also, we got a sleeping bag liner designed for accidents - looks just like a normal liner. Hope he has a fabulous time

[jmumma]

I really feel for you. I have been through this with my child. He has not missed a school residential and managed to sort himself out most of the time with only minor incidents. We tried to work out how the school staff could help and how independent he could be (he realised he could change in to pyjama pants (pull ups) under the bed covers without anyone seeing for example) and we organised his little suitcase really well. We also made sure he was allowed extra spare clothes and saw the specialist continence nurse to find out if there was any more we could do. Increasing the desmo melt medication helped him overnight. During the day he was always with a teaching assistant who knew he could go to the toilet whenever he needed to. He told me he was most worried about the coach journey and we let the teachers know so they could help. At one stage I asked if I could attend the residential as a helper (but that trip was cancelled due to covid). Only you know what is right for you and your child - there’s no right or wrong answer, so best of luck with whatever you do.

[EHM39]

Let him go. My 8 year old son is currently on a residential school trip. He has wetting day and night due to PUV and is currently on oxybutynin and also Senokot. He has always worn pads at school and goes to the loo every 2 hours. They are doing exactly the same on the school trip wherever possible - he is taking his normal rucksack with supplies in around with him during the day activities. We had clear conversations with school and have just been really organised. But crucially also not made too much of a big deal of it. His bedroom is near the toilet, staff are located in a next door room and the friends he has been put with are kind and understanding of the situation. Night time he is in pull ups and a sanitary bin has been arranged in the boys toilets do he can dispose easily of this in the morning. I have always said this issue will never stop him doing anything. He is more than this problem. It is about managing it and finding a way. Good luck! X

[Quink]

Thank you for all your replies. I will take everyone's advice and have a discreet word with his teacher to see if arrangements can be made to help him. I just worry that things will go horribly wrong and that he will get teased.

[Helen36]

I just wanted to agree with everything everyone has said - but I am also already in a flap about a residential this time next year so I am sure it is hard for you. My friend is a primary teacher and she says that they always have a few wet beds on first school residential. Even the usually dry kids get giddy/out of sorts/drink too much - and lots of kids cry their eyes missing home too! She says that despite all these dramas the only story the children ever come home talking about is who was sick (someone always is!) and who ran around naked (someone always does!!). I don’t know whether this gives you any comfort or not but it does for me!

I’d also just work on coaching him to understand/explain that his bladder doesn’t work properly in the same way that some kids have tummies that can’t have dairy / wheat, or brains that are different, like autism or dyslexia. I think it really helps them to explain it to other kids. I think kids are always kind when they understand it is about difference and they are generally much better at this that they were when I was a kid. Xxx

[Ashky]

Agree with all that has been said. We have had this with foster children (some with additional needs) for residentials and camps Y5&6. Schools should be able to plan with you based on what the setting can offer. From your side, suggestion might be to use disposable daytime pullups or pads (Tena men pads?) and then for night times usual disposable protection? Sleeping bag liners (Brollysheets) we found good as top and bottom are waterproof so if he 'wraps himself around' it will still protect the bed. Planning is key and easy storage/access arrangements builds confidence as does having a dry run(sorry!) of arrangements before the trip. Having a designated TA or teacher(s) to go to also really important as can a couple of special friends (and perhaps their parents) that he can confide in and explain his problem. Seems a mountain but kids are eternally understanding and accepting of differences and additional challenges. He'll probably have a fantastic time and after the last 2 years so important!

[Quink]

Thank you so much for all you help and advice. After school yesterday I popped in to see my son's teacher. We had a long chat and she was really helpful. We discussed how to cope both during the day and night. So I think that I will get some pullups for him to wear during the day and one of the TA's will help him get changed and prompt him to go to the toilet throughout the day. It turns out that there are three others in his class with bedwetting problems!! I thought he was the only one!! I think that the strategy is going to be that one of the helpers will put a nappy in his sleeping bag before bed and then he can put it on under the covers - something we are going to have to practice! We will also get a waterproof sleeping bag liner in case there are any leaks. In the morning he can just take off his wet nappy and fold it up and leave it in the sleeping bag. The helpers will then remove and dispose of it later on. As you have all suggested, they seem pretty experienced in dealing with incontinence issues and they seem confident that there won't be any issues. Thank you for all your advice - it has been really helpful as I was getting so stressed!!

[StellaA in reply to Quink]

I only saw this after replying to your other post, I hope you got everything sorted, and it all went smoothly.What nappies are you using for at night? perhaps he could practice putting it on by himself so he could manage more sleepovers in the future.

Or if it's not been then good luck. Xx.

[Quink in reply to StellaA]

He hasn't been on his school trip yet. It starts on the Monday before half term - so very soon and we're all getting a bit nervous! He gets Tena nappies of the continence team at the NHS. They have the four tapes and so are a little tricky for him to put on properly, but he has been practicing and hopefully he should be ok!!