Still not properly toilet trained: My younger son is... - ERIC


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Still not properly toilet trained


My younger son is almost six and at school and still having accidents 2 or 3 times a day, including at school. There doesn't seem to be anything medically wrong and I am waiting on a referral for an incontinence nurse. It's exhausting. I would love to hear from people with similar experience.

11 Replies

When you mean accidents do you mean wees or poos or both?


Have you ruled out constipation, unfortunately this is a common cause for both as the full bowel presses on the bladder hence the accidents and old backed up poo will mean new poo can only sneak around it hence those accidents.

I don't think it is. I have considered it but I think it is behavioural.

It may well be but he will be backing up if you dont deal with it as if he were constipated and it definitely needs to be ruled out before you dismiss it completely.

I thought it was behavioural too at first because I thought you had to not be going to the toilet to be constipated but that’s not true. You can still be constipated and going to the toilet but the impaction means it’s squeezing around the sides of the blockage and stretching the bowel.

Might be worth looking in to while you wait for the incontinence nurse...

He does have a small appetite too..... I will see what I can do over the Christmas holiday. I need to go to the pharmacist soon anyway.

What's it like dealing with it?

The disimpaction can be quite messy but if that’s the source I’d the problem then it can help massively. Christmas might be a good time to do one... also get him into a really good toilet routine - it will help get in control of his Bowles again and also make him feel more in control which could help with the behaviour.

I recommend blowing things like balloons or bubbles when sitting on the toilet as it helps the muscles begin to get back to normal (as they’ll be really stretched).

Thanks. I can't imagine a time when it's sorted....

I felt that way too especially because I thought my daughter just couldn’t be bothered or I just was a failure as a parent. It all changed when I realised what was going on! This year I’ve had to become a bit of on impaction expert, unfortunately! It does get better and you’re not alone in this!

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