Starting High School

My son is now 11 and has suffered from bladder problems since he was a baby. He has an over active bladder and a small bladder capacity (about 90ml). The specialist has ruled out constipation and has put him on Tolterodine, which I suppose is helping a little, but he still has frequent accidents. At primary school he wears a pad, but has free access to the disabled toilet and can go and get changed if he needs to whenever he wants. What is really stressing him out is that he is transitioning to high school in September. We have had a meeting with the school nurse and with the head of year 7, who were both great. They have said that he can use the disabled toilets and can leave class at any time. If he has a couple of spare pads in his bag, he can then change if he needs to. However, this hasn't stopped him being really worried about starting his new school (and to be honest, it hasn't stopped me worrying either!!). Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

[Teddy500]

Hi, my son is 10, we have exactly the same worries, although he has another year to go at primary but we're desperately trying to get his bladder well before secondary school. His main problem is daytime wetting, he gets a very strong urge when he needs to go and a small bladder capacity, never been dry at night, but we've made a bit of progress recently, I'll tell you what we've done in case any of it helps.....disimpaction (even though constipation wasn't a major concern) it cleared his bowel out completely and gave his bladder a fresh start, it has definitely helped, 2000ml of water a day (only really possible as he's at home at the moment instead of school), a timer on the toilet to stay for 3 mins - he gets a little extra out if he stays for longer (using liquid timers as they're nice to watch), plus blowing out (strong blows) whilst at the toilet - this uses the same muscles as those for emptying your bladder (try it), 20g fibre in his diet a day so his bowel is happy, pumpkin seed oil (put on Nairns fine milled oatcakes with butter then cheese on top) pumpkin seed oil is said to help bladders and it soaks into the oatcakes which are also high fibre, bought a trampoline which he goes on every day for at least 30 mins (we're lucky to have a garden), he's gone from 100ml to 175ml bladder capacity, over the last two months (since his school closed) and there's a slight improvement with wetting accidents. After so many years of nothing helping and oxybutynin only helping slightly but then causing side effects so we stopped it, its so nice to make some progress. Doctors never felt my son was constipated but as you're about to start the summer hols I would really consider it while you have the chance, plus the water is vital too. See what advice you get on here, the community is really supportive, I can only speak from my own experience, best wishes, would you stay in touch and let me know how you get on 🦋

[Hidden in reply to Teddy500]

Thank you so much for your reply. It is reassuring to know that we are not the only ones going through all this. Like your son, ours has never been dry at night and has frequent accidents during the day. I think that we have tried just about everything over the years. Every drug in the book, alarms, drinking more water, less water, alarm watches, rewards etc... But we have never tried pumpkin seeds or a trampoline! I will certainly look into them both. One thing that we did find out at a recent visit to a chiropractor, is that he has 'spina bifida occulta. We knew absolutely nothing about this until he casually remarked 'oh by the way, you do know that he has spina bifida occulta don't you?' Apparently this is a really common condition and can lead to problems with bladder control (although usually doesn't). The only sign on our son is a dimple at the base of his spine. Personally I am convinced that this is a contributing factor to his bladder problems. There is loads on Google about it, but neither the GP or the specialist ever examined him for it. We have an appointment with the specialist in a couple of weeks, so I will ask again about constipation and a clear out. From the sounds of it, it definitely helped your son. I will definitely stay in touch and let you know how we get on at High School.

[whennaturecalls]

Hi Jenny, I'm guessing that when your son is at school and has ready access to a loo he probably doesn't need any extra reassurance or aids. However, if he feels anxious when out and about and needs a wee, particularly if he doesn't like wearing a pad. he may find having a Releaf bag to hand reassuring. That's certainly the experience of many urinary incontinence sufferers, both young and old. Have a look at releaf.ltd and if you would like a sample please email [e-mail] and we'll gladly send you a sample to try.

Here's wishing you and your son an exciting and happy transition to senior school.

Best wishes

Keith

[BabygrowMama]

Hi Jenny, I hope you don’t mind me jumping on your thread. I was coming on to post such a Similar message to you that it Seems easier to just gatecrash a bit!

My son is also 11, and would be starting secondary in Sept (he is home ed). We’ve always had continence problems, and haven’t seen his ‘poop nurse last as we call her since December because of lockdown cancellations, we don’t have another apt until Sept but things have got so much worse, it’s like we’ve gone backwards.

My son has autism, so I suspect there are sensory and perhaps some other issues for us too, but I am hoping maybe others may have advice for you that could help us too.

At least we know we aren’t alone in it though.