Resistance to potty training after trauma of constipation

[mpblan77]

Hello again everyone. My little boy (just turned 3) had a lot of issues with constipation from November to January just gone. In November I had tried potty training but had to stop as he got worse with withholding, while developing the worst nappy rash I could ever imagine.

The paediatric gastroenterologist who saw him in February told us not to bother with training until he forgot the trauma. He’s been on Movicol and things are a lot better. We are encouraging sitting in the potty morning and evening. However, the last few times he has said that he wants to do a poo (he normally heads for a favourite chair and tells us to leave the room while he leans against it), my husband has tried to sit him down in the potty. Today he lashed against my husband, and even slapped him...

I just want to know if anyone out there has been or is on the same boat. Aside from offering rewards, have you found a mechanism that works? Should I try to go the whole way now and just take away nappies? I’m just scared he’ll go into pattern of withholding again if we force him to sit on potty (though I know this is a bit irrational because Movicol is in his system).

Thank you.

[Nanoiu]

We've been through the soiling issue since my son was 4.

He will be 6 in a couple of months and we are still dealing with this problem, though things are much better and it's not the struggle it used to be. My son is still on medication (movicol and senokot daily, and if bowels do not open by the end of breakfast, an enema or suppository to ensure he leaves the house to school etc. with an empty rectum).

Now getting him to sit on a potty wasn't easy. He was 4 and a half when we started a toileting regime. It was a struggle for a year. Had to take him by the hand and sit him down on the potty after every meal and stay with him for 10 minutes and distract him. You can't reason with them When they're 4, so you got to distract them with a game, a story or a new small toy (think dollar store) or a lolly.

By the time he was 5 my son enjoyed playing monopoly cards and uno with us while on the potty. Now he plays on his own with Pokemon cards and beyblades.

What are you trying to reward? I read somewhere not to reward a clean underwear because that would make them withhold even more. Reward sitting on the potty.

And as usually kids with this problem can't feel the poo coming out, you can't reward them per poo. But if they sit on a potty after a meal the chance to poo is very high, so you just got to get them to sit on that potty long enough.

Now about the nappies. Our son was toilet trained so I didn't have the nappy problem. I did however read the 'ins and outs of poo' and there was a chapter dedicated to this. Taking the nappy away was done gradually. Something like, poo in the nappy for a while anywhere, poo in the nappy only in the bathroom for a while, then poo in the nappy while sitting on the toilet and one day think of taking the nappy off. I will re-read and give you more details if you like.

[Cooper90 in reply to Nanoiu]

Hi I just read your reply , could you please send me the chapter from this book about the stages , we are at the stage of my 3 yr old pooing in a pull up , standing up in the bathroom with the door closed and then tells us when he’s done but then lashes out when we try to change him saying he’s not finished although he is 💁🏻‍♀️