Never know what I'm doing

[CN4321]

Hi all,

My son is nearly 7 and has always had problems with the toilet- as a baby and toddler he suffered terribly with constipation which took us ages to get sorted, the whole thing was made worse once I had my second son - fairly typical, but I didn't cope well with it (think I had PND and feel terribly guilty now).

In terms of the bladder, he doesn't empty it properly, leaks a lot and is still completely wet and in pull ups at night. We are seeing a specialist about that and he is currently using a TENS machine on his back to stimulate the nerves and help with leaking so I feel like maybe we are getting somewhere with that.

However with the bowel I just have no idea what is going on and what I should be doing. He is currently on 1 movicol and 2.5ml of senna a day, we also see a reiki healer and he has some flower remedies to help balance him emotionally, but is currently going through a period of soiling his pants every day. I had heard that if there is any soiling then he is constipated, but I find that sometimes I increase the dosages and he still carries on soiling and sometimes it gets worse. We don't see any doctors regularly, and I often feel I just need advice daily on how much medicine to give him and is he soiling because of it being too much or too little??

I read a book about constipation and withholding, and a lot of it rang true, but the approach in the book doesn't seem to be working for us.

I just have no idea what I should be doing and every doctor just seems to tell us that he should drink more water (he drinks about 1.2 litres a day). Obviously I would like him to get off medication, but my main aim would be to be able to take him somewhere or drop him off and be confident he will be ok and come home in the same pants which would be clean rather than just poo everywhere all the time. I can't afford to bin all the pants so just endlessly scrub pooey clothes and it gets me really down.

Apologies for the ramble, I just feel like I am desperate to speak to people who may understand and have some advice for me.

[Lorna1989]

I hear you, it's hard and I never realised how much a child's toilet habits can rule your life!

It's bowels that's the problem here and sadly my son seems to be completely faecally incontinent at the moment after years of on and off constipation. I get it about the movicol too I never know what I'm doing with it dose wise. Increasing it gives him uncontrollable diarrhoea and giving less does nothing. My son soils every day currently and it's extremely draining.

Sorry this wasn't a very helpful reply was it but just wanted to say you're not on your own by any means. I'm finding it all consuming at the moment.

[SallyandPaul in reply to Lorna1989]

Can only give my complete sympathy to you both. Talk about ruling everyone's lives. My daughter hasn't poohed properly for over a week and am now trying to do a disimpaction ,bearing in mind that she's going to the pantomime with school today!! She has also now woken up with a sore throat and is already on antibiotics for a bladder infection. I just feel like goin back to bed and putting my head under the covers ha ha!! At least we have each other, I am so grateful for you all. God bless, I'll keep praying xxx

[Lorna1989 in reply to SallyandPaul]

My son is currently disimpact ing too, it's his last day at school today then it's the Xmas holidays thank goodness! He did have two big soiling incidents at school yesterday but they were able to clean him up there luckily. We'll see what today brings!

[Laundrymaid]

My best advice to you is to watch the video from the 'Poo Nurses' there is a link on this site (a pinned post). It was only after watching this that 10+ years of struggling by my daughter with first constipation then twitchy bladder, soiling and UTI's really made sense. I knew most of the information theoretically but once I saw this, I understood the big picture so much better. It is possible for a child to be constipated while on a daily laxative and having a daily bowel motion. If you child has become severely backed up, increasing Movicol may not be enough to clear the problem. A proper disimpaction may be required. We did our first disimpaction with my daughter 3 months ago and results thus far (touch wood!) have been really good.

My other piece of advice is to keep reading around this site, even some of the older posts. There is some really good info here.

Wishing you and your son good health going forward xx

The Laundrymaid

[SallyandPaul]

Thank you laundry aid very helpful. I think I was one of the first to post about this video and we even went on a course by the same pooh nurses, they are so good. Even after all that I suppose I haven't acknowledged properly that our daughter needs another disimpaction but we are on the case!! Just so wish it would eventually go away!! But must be more realistic. Thanks again xx

[Bbja]

My heart goes out to you.

It’s very difficult situation to be in and people with kids who don’t have bladder and bowel problems will never understand.

I feel so guilty for all the times I have given out to my son for soiling. I thought he was doing it on purpose. Only after being directed to this website and watching the poo nurse videos do I understand what was going on. He’s 4 now and we’re about 2 months past his first clear out. We have a different child now. He still has the odd soiling incident. We’re still trying to figure out dosage.

I found showing him the videos and looking at the kids section online very helpful. He was so happy to learn that he wasn’t the only child with a problem and it was great for him to understand why soiling was happening.

Try to put the guilty feelings aside. You’re doing your best and trying everything. Soiling effects all the family every day and it’s so hard to not let it get to you.