3 year old dry but soils his pants

[Emmaba]

I'm at my wits end, my 3 year old took to potty training brilliantly, he was dry on afew days and by 6 weeks in around his 3Rd birthday he was dry at night. However he does all his poos in his pants unless I notice that he has gone quiet and quickly scoop him up and put him on the toilet. He doesn't seem to notice that he has done it either. It is now 4 months down the line and he still doesn't poo on the toilet. He doesn't seem to be constipated and drinks lots and lots. Preschool have now said they want me to put him back in pull ups as he obviously isn't ready but this feels like a backwards step!! Anyone have any advice? I've tried sticker charts and treats but doesn't make any difference, it's really starting to stress me out.

[Georgina1475]

There’s still a chance he’s constipated as softer Poo will leak/escape around the blockage causing soiling in smaller amounts. Sometimes the nerve endings become lazy if the bowl has been stretched and the messages don’t get through that they need to go and they can’t tell if they have been. My son went through a denial stage where he would happily poo in his pants even when not constipated and it took a while for the process to be understood and this just came with maturity. Sit him everyday at the same time for 5 to 10 mins the best time for this is about 20 mins after a meal. Play games read books sing songs to distract him. Make sure his feet are on a stool to ease pressure. We found blowing bubbles helped as this relaxes the bottom a little. It maybe worth checking with a gp to make sure he’s not constipated as he may need a small amount of softener. I agree with you that going back into pull ups isn’t a good idea and feel the nursery/preschool aren’t being helpful. See if they are willing to be part of his toileting routine. Hope his helps

[squizita in reply to Georgina1475]

Also, mine was constipated and is now on movicol so physically OK, and can feel it (has described the sensations) but associates toilet poo with pain, so would rather just not go there. So she witholds because of fear, till it pops out anyway.

She then pretends not to notice if any adult/peer who she doesn't want to think she is a baby is there.

Our nursery is very helpful and says it is suprisingly common 'we have a kid like that every year, we've seen it all before'.

From what I understand it takes ages to fix even when they are all sorted physically. Mine now sometimes poos 'on purpose' but sometimes doesn't, depends on who she is with and her mood. At least we know she can!