3 yo issues with soiling pants: Hi All I'm at my wits... - ERIC

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3 yo issues with soiling pants

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Hi All

I'm at my wits end and hoping for some words of wisdom from you.

Last June I successfully potty trained my lg at 2 and a half. She took to it brilliantly, was even dry through the night after the second night.

Then, without a reason that we could pinpoint, she had the odd soil which then started to become more frequent. By the end of the summer she stopped using the toilet for poos completely. We weren't concerned as we assumed one day she'd 'get it' and go to the toilet again.

We tried to encourage her to use the loo with reward charts, praise, ignoring it etc but she wouldn't have any of it. She then started to hold on to her poo so we would have several soils each day. In May this year we put her back in pull ups to take the pressure of it all off of her but she still seemed to hold it in.

In August this year we put her on Movicol and back in to knickers with the usual praise and rewards but we've had no luck whatsoever and she is still holding. She even tells me she tells herself to hold it when she feels it coming.

I really don't know how to break the cycle as its become so much more of a problem for her than it needed to be.

Please tell me some miracle trick that I've somehow missed, I'm ashamed to admit I shouted at her tonight out of sheer frustration and I've now got the mummy guilt and sobbing over my keyboard

4 Replies

You need to train her body by taking her to the loo about 25 mins after meals even if she says she does not need to go.


Hello there, mummy guilt....can relate to that. It's incredibly tough when this is happening to your child, I totally understand your feelings as was there a few years ago. It has got better if that makes you feel any better but it took quite a long time.

I read a very good book called The Ins and Outs of Poop, it was sold through Eric I think and on amazon. I found this book very helpful, is written by a psychologist who specialises in poo problems in the US.

As hard as it is you have to just keep doing what your doing, praise, encouragement, mantras (I used to continually say to my daughter, one day you won't poo in your pants, you will poo in the toilet) try not get cross (incredibly hard I know)

Age I found helped a lot, the more aware they become of themselves and their piers.

Toilet time at regular times is good if you can get cooperation (hard I know)

Laxatives help as make it harder to withhold but they still try.

Hang in there, lots of support on here x

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We have all had mummy guilt when we know we shouldn't get frustrated about it but we do. We have been there with our LG now 3.5 she suffered constipation after with holding due to being scared about pooing. Now after being on 1/2 sachet of movical a day we feel like we are progressing slowly.

We took baby steps we found giving poo an identity helped telling her by letting him out he can go on his holidays/see his family sounds silly but it worked so know she has regular poos still in a nappy but prefer that to withholding

Also good if you can work out if she has a regular time of day she goes too

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She might well be frightened. My daughter is and apparently it is common. In which case, taking her and sitting her (which is helpful of her bum is still numb to the sensations) won't work because she won't try! You will just end up taking her to the toilet a lot.

I have found some success (we are still getting there!) by rewarding trying, not pooing. So every time she sits she has to try (blow on a blower she has, try to parp on purpose etc) with no poo pressure.

Also "any poo on purpose" is praised eg even if it is in her night time nappy, if she says "I am going to do a poo" or I ask her to try and she makes one she gets praise.

I have a story on an app (Poo goes to poo land) which is useful as it portrays the poo as a helpless thing who wants to go down the nice toilet. There's a youtube song called potty time is fun too. Basically anything that makes it sound cute not scary!

Some people suggest they start by asking for a nappy to poo in, and sitting on the potty. Then when they've done that a while work on removing the nappy. Mine won't touch a nappy by day so it's a bit infuriating as she's also too proud to admit she is frightened.


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