Hi I'm new to the app just a day. I was diagnosed with epilepsy around 8+ years ago now, tonic-clonic seizures. I wound up having seizures around every few weeks/month+ I guess, and meds wound up stretching them farther apart. Apparently I wound up with "several seizures in a row" during my seizure phase (which to observers meant I would have tremors a while, then not, and then shake again, then no shaking again, etc), though to me it would be just one unconsciousness period.
After several years I wound up with an electronic alert bracelet that would text family while shaking. It had gps/app etc. In my feelings it would just wind up with more stress in my family to something I couldn't even understand. I only got to see one video of myself having a seizure.
Anyway, surgery wound up recommended and then occurring. It has led to horrific thinking, though no TCs since. I wasn't even able to comprehend my seizures in large ways because they were far apart. I was trying to find more and more info online. I have feelings like EEGs were faked, that the single seizure video I saw was even faked. I have thoughtful reasoning of their not being faked, but they're incomprehensible in ways in my mind and I can wind up having swirling conspiratorial thinking patterns in my mind; that surgery was conducted as some type of test or something. That brain surgery occurred for something I couldn't even comprehend because seizures didn't even exist in my reality, in factual ways actually due to my brain function and rationale being knocked out DURING the seizures. I've tried to explain it to family like "what if you just woke up some morning to having an amputated leg, and everyone in reality being pleased about it?"... except in reality the brain is a much more important organ than the leg is as a limb. The brain is actual REALITY also. Additionally the doctors and hospital had obviously made a big cut in the side of my head - part of me wants it to have never existed, people say to just grow my hair out and claim that they can't see it (which just feels like a bulls**t statement in order for me to just ~feel good~ ("oh I can't notice at all that I amputated your leg!")) and then another part of me requires that I keep my hair buzz-cut down quite a ways in order for me to be able to conceptualize what is actual REALITY (but upon doing that, I have a feeling that if strangers see it many would consider me similar to Jack Nicholson's character at the end of the "Cuckoo's Nest" movie...?)
It's a totally different reality now, and part of me even won't believe it's reality and that I might even be laying unconscious in a hospital bed still, breathing tube down my throat...
It's often horrifying when I wake in the morning, realizing I'm waking up - but then also at night I start having terrors about sleeping at all because that sleep vs. reality sense has terror...
This is my first post on here so I'm venting and unloading a lot, though not all, information - but I'm trying to be in touch with others who have had the surgery. I'm trying not to "dis" the surgery at all (unless there are reasons I'm not quite aware of - which is an additional mind-fu*k I keep going through akin to "am I under hypnosis and being followed?" type of mind-freak, which leads me to distrust my surroundings in bizarre ways)...
I could go on and on but I'd like to relate it relatively...
(3 months post-surgery)
Strange episodes/auras
Kepra 1250mg, Newly diagnosed, epilepsy 
Alcohol induced seizures 
Driving with Focal aware seizures
Night time awakenings
