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[picklestar]

hi i was diagnosed in 1997 which is when i had my first laparacapy. I was already on the pill and had to take 3 months worth then have perriod which i did untill i was 30 then we started trying for a family , pain got progressivly worse i had another laparascapy at which time they did lazer treatment and plugs ??????

which helped with the pain alot . between the age of 30 and 34 i had 3 miscarragies we had test done and due to husband low sperm count we went for ivf ,icsi after 2 failed atemps now 37 i was told my eggs had expired (using reserve eggs) we tryed agin with donor eggs but agin it failed.

we are now doing adoption and have been told to use contrasetion .

even though my pain is so bad i dont want to go back on the pill as i still have hope that one day it might happen.

i am trying herbal remadies to help with pain control and i have not spoken to my doctor as i am not sure what she will suggest. proberly sounds silly but i feel if they suggest a histrectamy i might just burst into tears i dont feel like a full woman due to not being to have my own children .if that makes sence

at the moment i can deal with the pain but i know it is getting worse and once we have adopted i may feel differntly .

sorry if i have rambled and i doesnot make sence but feel better for sharing

pickle

[Aquitaine]

Oh Pickle... thank you so much for sharing your story. You've been through such a lot, and I really feel for you.

I also turned down a hysterectomy because I just didn't feel emotionally ready for it, and my doctor was actually pretty sympathetic and said it was my decision and I should just do what I felt was right at this stage. I may have one later when I'm more comfortable with the idea.

I know exactly what you mean about not feeling like a 'real' woman because of not having children. For many years I felt like that too, and it really doesn't help that people are always asking about it, or saying 'you should have kids' etc. But I'm finding that over time the feelings are getting better, and I certainly do believe I'm fine as I am, even though I won't be able to have children.

It's not easy being childless, and I do hope that you soon find a way to have children in your life. Good luck for the future.