Fertility and future - how do I make logical decisions

[Sackers93]

I was 20 when I was diagnosed with stage 1 endometriosis covering my left ovary and bottom of my stomach. I started the diagnosis process at the age of 16. Back then there was no where near as much knowledge of endometriosis as there is now, and specialist where already preparing me that kids might not be in my future. This has stuck with me and I've never let myself become hopeful of having a family naturally. I turn 30 this year, single and find myself wanting to future proof my fertility. But I don't know how to proceed... My mind is a blocker, to me kids aren't an option (when actually they could be)

My mind is a blocker, the pain of having a period is horrendous, any spotting I experience I have panic attacks (I'm the person who was throwing up and passing out in pain before I went on depo injection)

Money is the blocker, the NHS is unlikely to help make any of these decision so I would have to go private...

I find myself contemplating do I find a fertility clinic and start conversations to see what my fertility level is like and do I start to seriously consider freezing eggs, putting myself through short term endo pain, freeze eggs and then prevent the pain again.

Has anyone else been in this dilemma? What would people recommend I do? Where do I start for making these decisions?

[R_elep]

Hi. Just reaching out as I’m going through exactly the same (and I’m a bit older - 32) and I know just how confusing it is

I know it’s silly but I know I should look into egg freezing but I keep procrastinating (I think I’m subconsciously really scared about starting the process and what it’d mean for my endo pain 🫣).

I’d say I’m about 65-70% or so sure that I’d like to have kids so I guess it makes sense to give myself as much opportunity for that to be possible.

I guess it might be worth thinking about whether you see yourself wanting kids in your future and using that to help you decide?

I know that sounds like an overly simplified decision process and there’s so much to factor in, but it’s just how I’m looking at things at the moment! I also don’t want to regret not taking the opportunity of looking into egg freezing when I have the chance / before I end up needing more surgery etc.

I think if you have endo and you try to get pregnant but can’t manage within a year, you’d get one round of ivf etc on nhs - I think I remember my consultant saying this, but it might vary based on where in the U.K. you are.

There’s no easy answer and what’s right for one person might not be for the other so just be gentle to yourself and maybe try reframing the decision making as empowering / you taking control rather than something scary!

Wishing you all the best! X

[SavageGold]

Hi there,

I'd like to say we are in the same place. Same symptoms, same injection. I'm 31. Since I think I miscarried the other year when my depo got mucked up by my nurse, I am trying to convince myself I can't carry a child plus the endo pain if I come off the depo.

I wish I'd ignored my adults in my life and done everything to get pregnant as an 18 year old.

I couldn't do it now. I'm single. I'm skint.

I'd like to Foster. That's my goal. I would have liked kids if it could happen naturally but IVF is not for me. I need looked after when I'm not on Depo. I'm not safe to live alone off Depo. I'd starve to death passed out on my floor. That's where mum and my brother used to find me.

If you can get the money and someone to look after you while you freeze your eggs then you have that option for later with a surrogate. So by all means that's very forward thinking.

Hugs