How to maintain a healthy relationship with severe endometriosis ?? :(

[ovaryaction245]

I've been with my partner for two years, and I have stage IV endometriosis. I have daily breakdowns, have attempted OD, on all kinds of mind-and-hormone altering drugs, and am all round negative and not in a great place in my life right now. I also have the stress of a full-time job and living on my own.

Currently we're on a "break" (still exclusive) because he can't handle my endo, and I (when my condition is bad) make him really unhappy. My surgery is April at the earliest, I am trying my hardest to be the 'best' girlfriend I can despite my endometriosis.

We are in such a difficult situation and my endo has taken my entire life away, I love my partner and I want to be with them, I don't want to loose them because of my condition too.

Any advice on how to keep going?

[Aurora20]

Hi, firstly I’m so sorry your going through all of this, it’s a horrible condition. Im kind of in the same position but mine is more my moods/emotions that are causing the issue. The only advice I can give you is hopefully once the surgery is done you will feel a lot better physically, has he tried to read up on the condition just so he understands more about it? I don’t want to sit here and say they should understand because honestly it must be hard for our partners just as much as it’s hard for us. Communication is KEY, explaining how you feel, more about endo so he knows it’s not your fault. Sorry I can’t be much help but all I would say yes communicating and just being honest and also just remember your not alone 😘

[Purple_Badgers]

Hi, so sorry you’re going through all this mental and physical pain every day. Endo can be such a soul-destroying disease.As someone nearly twice your age (eek!)and who has the benefit of hindsight, I hope you don’t mind me saying this : you don’t need a boyfriend… you can manage on your own. You are clearly very strong and determined to carry on with a “normal” life, but I think you’re probably putting too much pressure on yourself. Perhaps not being with your partner, who is unable to support you, is for the best for now. Your physical and mental health are the absolute priority, and this means not having to pretend you’re ok ( which is hard work & can drive anyone to despair! ) You’re doing brilliantly because you’re managing to work and run your own household whilst suffering really badly. That is amazing and I think you should recognise that and realise how awesome you are! Please, please don’t think that life will stay this way for you - there is hope, there is help on the way and you are young enough to get your life back. I hope you’ve got some supportive, understanding, non-demanding friends and family to stay by your side during your endo journey, but if not, the online endo community are here for you xxxx

[CupcakeL]

Morning, I’m also sorry you are going through all this.Have you thought of paid for counseling? I started after I split up with the only guy id had a serious relationship with( & I probably stayed in too long) because he new about my endometriosis, he was not supportive towards the condition.

I’ll admit I didn’t start my counseling because of my endo, but I think how I look at life and feel about things now has definitely helped me start to make changes about my endo and look at what I need and what my quality of life was and that I didn’t deserve to live that way.

Which has lead me to be having the decapeptyl injections for the menopause like state, I’m one of the lucky ones and it’s helping me massively! Apparently shutting my natural hormones down is what’s working for me. My pain is practically nonexistent *touchwood* and my moods are stable I feel like a normal person, for the first time in my adult life probably. Which means I can make the changes I’ve dreamed of.

I’m a few years older than you, but single living on my own, running a business & being a carer for my Nanna who’s having cancer treatment. It can get lonely sometimes but reading on here about the supportive understanding husbands & partners the ladies have has made me want to work on myself and see if my luck continues and I find a partner like that 😊

You’re the most important person for you, so look after you first! If he’s the one he’ll stick around, and if he doesn’t he isn’t 😘

[GabiOs]

Sorry to hear about your condition. You shouldn’t have to be the “best girldfriend” it is evident that you had a severe desease and you need all the comprehension and your boyfriend should give it to you. He should be supportive not a heavy weight over your shoulders . You are going to have a surgery soon not a party! Come on girl! You are brave, you are suffering a desease that nobody understand at all. You are not going to loose him, he is going to loose you! But If you want more information about endometriosis I invite you to read Nancy’s nook endometriosis website. She has tons of real information about endometriosis maybe it can help to understand more about it. You are not alone and there is a lot of women suffering similar things. Good luck!

[RosieLou94]

So sorry to hear you’re going through this!! I’m still waiting for my endo diagnosis to be confirmed, but my partner is super supportive even though I know my pain puts a strain on him. We aren’t able to have sex because the pain is so bad and we constantly have to cancel plans so I can lie on the sofa with hot water bottles. But not once has he complained. I think your boyfriends needs to be a lot more sympathetic towards you. And if he can’t do that, it’s better to find someone who will love you no matter what x