Have been in my job since May 2021. I work as a qualified mental health counsellor on a mental health helpline for one of the UK’s biggest employee assistance programmes. Endometriosis and low mood have caused me to have multiple absences since working there.
I have recently been off since last Tuesday with endometriosis pain. I was diagnosed through laparoscopy in October 2019. I thought I would feel ok to go back after the weekend but I don’t. I feel I need to get a doctors sick note and be off another week.
I am so anxious about my absences. I had an occupational health assessment and they were really understanding and in the report to my employer said that they would need to be lenient with my absences due to endometriosis being an incurable and life long health condition that is difficult to manage.
I just don’t feel able to be on the helpline when I am struggling this much mentally and physically. I work 43 hours per week and I take around 15 calls per day of people crying down the phone to me. We only get a 60 second break between each call and a half an hour lunch break.
I have to stay in this job until my partner and I sell the house and get a mortgage agreed over the next 3 months or so. Then I can go part time and build up my own private counselling practice again, which is much more manageable and wonderful!
But right now I am struggling. I feel that work do not understand. I cannot put a mask on and support others all day emotionally when I am struggling myself. Does anyone have any ideas of any reasonable adjustments they could make? I might try to ask if they can adjust my work rota so that I don’t have to work as many late shifts and if they have any admin jobs I could do when I’m unwell. I work in the office in the city centre. So every day I am out of the house for 11 hours per day travelling and working. There is no time for self care. And they do not look after their staff. The company has such a high staff turnover that they take on 10 new counsellors each month but 10 go off sick with their mental health or hand in their notice and leave each month.
Any advice or understanding would be much appreciated! Thank you for reading. X
Written by
EndoEffect
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That’s a lot to ask of anyone, let alone with any health issues. They have the report and you have a huge amount behind you with that. I’d think they are deliberately giving you late shifts and that is against the report already by not making any allowances.
Can you work from home a few days a week and take calls that way? Then you can lie down if need be.
Write down what would be the most ideal for you, plus a back up of possible compromises.
Although it’s within a year of starting and easier to sack someone the report you have makes it so much more difficult for the employer as they are unlikely to want bad publicity. There is no guarantee, ACAS are there to help as well, definitely worth calling them. They will also contact the employer to help reach an amicable compromise.
I assume the employer has HR, have you spoken to them?
I think it would be difficult to work from home but it’s something I’m thinking about. It’s just hard to be in the right frame of mind to support someone else emotionally and professionally when you’re in too much pain to concentrate and manage your own emotions.
And I will definitely give ACAS a ring! Thank youuuuuu!
My employer does not have a HR department. Which is ridiculous. Our company offers other companies all over the UK and their employers access to 24/7 well-being support, but they don’t even offer well-being support to their own employees.
I suppose I just need to grit my teeth and stay there for another few months until the mortgage is agreed for me and my partner, then I can leave and support my own needs in the best way xx
If it’s mainly talking on the phone easily done with the technology available. You can have a phone that you plug into your own but it goes through the workplace system, I’d be amazed if they didn’t have this in place, especially with covid and lockdown. Although like you say, amazed they have no system in place for their own employees. ACAS will definitely be able to give advice, make sure it’s the right place, there are companies that have given themselves similar names but charge.
I’ve no idea how you’re managing, I want to do more, but start to and too much pain. I think you’re doing an amazing job.
Sorry you are in this position. Have you spoken to your GP or hospital about pain management, it does not seem right that you are in such significant pain all the time and maybe there are options you have not tried that could help with this.
Remote work may help you if it is possible. At home it may be easier to do things E.G. be in a comfortable position or use heat pads or TENS ETC.
From a adjustments perspective is there anything else which would make your day easier. IF the gap between calls was increased, could you go for a. Walk or stretch to feel more comfortable. How do you travel to work?
I am really in awe of your goal to get the mortgage with your Partner. ☺️💗 my message is quite direct and practical with difficult questions. I’m doing this from a place of wanting to help. It may not come across eloquently and peopley - I feel for you and want the best outcome for you. Incase it doesn’t come across, I wanted to state it at the beginning.
Clearly this is not an ethical company. It’s a modern day sweat shop and this is not okay for you and for anyone else who works or who has worked there. The high turnover suggests they are still making a profit and don’t care about people. The lack of HR is also another unethical way to do business because their purpose is to set the culture and adhere to employment law, mitigate against risk to the organisation. Also I am unsure that the breaks are legal based on the hours you work (ACAS would be able to answer that). My employment law is out of date.
What pain management do you have in place with your GP? Medicine for pain?
SSRI’s? I use Citalopram and it’s worked wonders for my pain.
Working from home would enable you to use an electric heat pad, use a TENS machine, wear loose clothing and be near a toilet. You could have a hot or a cold shower to help with pain too. You could move around and do some breath work and some stretching or yoga to help. Use some clary sage and lavender essential oils without stinking out the office. Also have snacks or regular small, planned out meals to regulate blood sugar. If you have a pet that helps with relaxation too. Eliminating the commute would also help.
It’s a means to an end for you but you’re not coping well and it’s hurting you. You need to decide if it’s worth it.
Reasonable adjustments would be working from home, reduced hours, agree a shift pattern. But they’re an unreasonable company and so realistically and honestly it might be better to cut your losses and leave now. But you have to get to that place yourself, if that’s right for you. I recommend you do that unscathed and without more damage to your mental and physical health.
Do you have a different way to get the mortgage if you give up this job?
What would happen if you quit this job for your health?
Or went part time?
I know these are hard questions but if you ask yourself them and work through the answers, you will be able to accept what IS and then ask yourself WHAT NOW.
Finally, HR take up EAP to tick boxes for trustees or Senior Managers. I will not be recommending unethical companies. I have used them and they were shit. Now I know why. You can’t build a therapeutic relationship with the person on the phone. It’s so frustrating! I had one that was okay but I only got six sessions and it wasn’t enough.
Anyway….from someone who can’t work atm and is on benefits and uses food banks. I am very sympathetic!
I hope you work through this well and make the best choices for you x
It sounds as though you could do with some time away from work to sort out pain management. I’d speak to my GP about painkillers, if you haven’t already and signing you off sick for a bit.
Also ask your GP if when you return to work they would provide a fit note to work reduced hours, this shouldn’t affect your pay. I currently work 50% of my shift hours due to pain management (I have a really active job), my wages haven’t been affected. Also when you’re off sick, ask who ever records the sickness that they mark it down as disability related. My brother works in HR, he used to work where I work and this is what he told me to get my supervisor to do.
Hi. I can't believe how bad your workplace is. Sorry to hear you're going through this. I can see you've had some really good answers here. Could I ask which medications you are on for the pain? It's just that there are different things to know about various medications. Mefenamic acid for instance... I used to take these, but thought they didn't do anything. I discovered later on that you have to take them before pain starts for them to work. If you wait until you are in pain Mefenamic acid won't do their job. Then there's Co-codamol. I was put on these for a while, but discovered a small percentage of people don't have the enzymes to produce the pain killing effect from them and it seems I was in that bracket as I always likened Co-codamol to taking Smarties. Did nothing. I found Voltarol to be one of the best, but they eventually gave me breathing problems when I took them so I had to stop. I now take an orodispersible form of Tramadol. Just thought I'd mention these things as the most important thing right now is that you get some relief. I worked myself into the ground years ago and ended up very ill and with Chronic Fatigue, so it pays to look after yourself now. If the doctor is willing to give you sick notes when you need them, then that would be the way to keep going if you're looking to tide yourself over for a few months. When I first had to get doctor's papers I could barely walk, but it took 4 months for the company I was working for to lay me off. To be fair it became apparent that it was going to be a long while before I could go back to work. I'd also echo someone else's comments about using a Tens machine. They can lessen the pain at times and make it more bearable. You can get small ones that can discreetly clip on your clothing. And if you haven't already, then check that you're drinking enough water and that the foods that you are eating are healthy. I wish I'd taken more heed to what I was eating years ago. I recommend trying some probiotics too. They won't give you results quickly, but they can be really good for your gut health. And if you're gut is happy, that has a great knock -on effect on the rest of your system. I find a really healthy diet without sugary stuff really helps me emotionally. I do hope you get the rest you need this week and that the mortgage etc.. gets sorted really soon, so that you can have the equilibrium you need. Rest up and get well soon xx
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