Dream job?! Endo strikes again! - Endometriosis UK

Endometriosis UK
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Dream job?! Endo strikes again!

Dancer1992
Dancer1992

I’ve been offered exactly what I want to be doing......BUT

I’ve been saying to my employer what I want for ages, turning other jobs down and now they said they would offer it me if I did another job at the same time which is very stressful and physically and mentally very demanding. Automatically because they offered it me I was so excited about the prospect thinking F*ck Endo! I’ll be fine....I always do this and then get distressed because I can’t do things as well as I used to or want to be able to.

Now I’m actually thinking about it and whether it’s worth it? The anxiety, the sleepless nights, the demanding work, the moving away for a few months from my fiancé just for a job? That I know that i wouldn’t be able to do, i’d Get upset and just want to go home? I’d miss counselling, i’d Have to ask for days off to get zoladex injections.

Even more so, what do I tell my employer? You offered me a job I really wanted and said I’m very interested but I’m going to have to say no?! Why? Oh because of my chronic illness......I’m self employed.....they’d never hire me again!!

Need to seriously consider what i am doing?!

Anyone been through a similar situation and could offer guidance?

14 Replies
oldestnewest

Hi,

Hugs

you just like me...

Hi I have not been in a similar situation but I worry about work all the time and coping in general with it due to how I feel with my illnesses.

I think you have answered your own questions as you have realised that you may like the thought of doing the job but then you know it’s going to impact on your life a great deal as you have to move away and the role is more demanding.

What you can say to your employer is thanks so much for the offer, I have considered it and because I suffer with an illness I feel that the time isn’t right for me to step into the role (remember it’s your personal business and you don’t have to go into detail).

You have to be able to cope with work otherwise you will make yourself ill and I know this from personal experience. Things such as more money can come at a cost to our health, well being and family life.

Hope that helps a little bit.

This darn illness takes over our lives doesn’t it and I think people who don’t suffer really have no clue how it can make us feel.

Hope you make the right decision for you and what’s best for your own future 💕💕

X

Thank-you for such a lovely message. I’ve contacted them asking if I can do the job on a freelance basis when they need me rather than committing myself to do a long period of time away. I mean we’ll see what they come back with, doubt they’ll go for it but fingers crossed as it would make it more manageable.

... may i know endo pain accure every day or during period only?

Everyday. Absolutely horrendous.

oh I see, it can happend everyday...

I'm sorry.

Is it on your lower abdomen? just like bad period cramps?

because i have the pain and I'm not sure what it was, why my Dr said, Endo pain only during period mmm...

Mine is everyday. I’m on injections that turn my ovaries off and put me in a temporary menopause but still get some pain and I’m on mefenamic acid and the coil to try and reduce symptoms. It’s both lower abdominal and cramping. Literally feels like someone is pulling my uterus out with razor blades and stabbing me in the stomach. Plus fatigue, intense itching, insomnia and awfully painful sex.Having psychosexual counselling to try and help that.....not that they can do much about an illness. If I’m not on hormone treatment then I’m nearly hospitalised with the pain as it’s just intolerable. May I suggest you see a gynae specialist if you think you may have it? I have really severe endometriosis and everyone has different experiences of this disease. I got offered a hysterectomy at 19, but I’m still fighting for a semi-normal life before I try and conceive and then straight away I’ll be on the list.

Thank you for your reply, really appreciate it so much..

i learned something about endo today. thanks <3

Yes tomorrow i will be seeing new gyn

I so get that. I am looking to further my career and have been looking at other jobs but due to endo I know next year I am going to have some big surgery that will mean I have a lot of time off. If I take a new job it means possibly losing the security of good sick pay and a so far understanding employer. This stupid thing keeps us stuck in limbo.

Dancer1992
Dancer1992
in reply to tracybee

Thank-you for your support and for letting me know I’m not the only one!

I know exactly how you are feeling....

I'm 30 years old, about to go on my 2nd round of Zoladex I work in finance and work extremely hard. However, due to this stupid disease i am having more and more time off work. As employers they have been so understanding but i am now being overlooked for promotions and extra training because of this.

My last consultant visit (2 weeks ago) ended with me being put on the waiting list for a total hysterectomy. I'm nervous because I am super special and get rare endo grow externally. Last year with my 4th Lap in 5 years i had to have half of my vulva removed. My consultant said he hadnt seen a case of endo grow there before. So i am booked in for a full hysterectomy knowing full well it may not even help. I must admit the zoladex really does help me so that is the only reason why he has agreed to the hysterectomy so young. That and i have a child and 2 step children.

I do feel like this disease has run my life for over 15 years now, thats the bit thats hard. The lack of control.

I guess my point is, you know what your limits are, taking yourself away from your support system is not ideal. I hope you find the answers you are looking for and come to a compromise with your employer.

If you ever need to chat just message me :) take good care of yourself. xxxx

Dancer1992
Dancer1992
in reply to leebum28

Good luck with the op! Positivity is the key in this endless cycle. I hope you get the results your looking for. Thank-you for your support

Hi love! I feel your pain, after fighting with endo for two years I ended up giving up my job I just couldn’t do it.. endo destroyed every part of my being so instead I stayed at home crawling in pain until my operation, it has been 10 months since and I feel like a new person the laparoscopic treatment has been great so far don’t

Have pain anymore I feel amazing but I know sooner or later is gonna come back, so I enjoy whilst I can! In regards to the job I found a new one 5 months ago not the same as the one I had before it is not as demanding as the other one, so it is good for my wellbeing and can take care of myself earn some money and overall feel a bit more of control of my Health, I am telling you all this because in my case I had to choose between my dream job or getting better first, and now slowly stepping up again. Please take care of yourself and always think about your health, endo is a nightmare and depending the severity of it is better to concentrate in your health, otherwise your mental health is at risk. Only telling you this because of my experience and I hope

It helps!

All the best and merry Christmas to you

Paola ❤️

Thankyou for your support. I’m freelance so these opportunities don’t come up very often but I need to work on my terms not theirs and I guess that’s what I need to say.

Great news about the laparoscopy. I’ve had 2 but they couldn’t remove any endo because of where it is.

Wishing you a happy, healthy Christmas!

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