So I woke up this morning with my beloved puffy eye infection thing that I get when I'm on my period (affectionately known as Puffy McPuff), and I moan at the day and my general lack of steam. It's been a painful couple of days (and nights) and there's something pressing against my back passage that I'd really not rather think about. I know that my partner bought bread at the shop the other day. But you know what they say about processed white bread aggravating the already very aggravating things growing inside us in places they shouldn't be. My next option is porridge, but it's hot outside, and the thought of all those oats sticking to my sides makes me feel more discontent with the morning than I do already. It might not seem like an immense problem, but when you're so tired that even just thinking about breakfast makes your brain hurt, then you really do need some help. So I call my parents who I know are travelling and could pop into a shop to buy some endo-friendly eating supplies. They do and it's a massive help, as just walking to the supermarket right now feels like a marathon task, something akin to climbing Everest. So I manage to get through the day feeling slightly better and reassured that I don't have to break into the evil white bread (part of me wants to do that soooo badly). And it gets to 4pm somehow, and I realise that I'm feeling a little more energised. The sun is out, it's warm and I sense that my limbs are beginning to feel like mine again. So I tell myself - I'll walk to the beginning of the woods and back. Not far at all, but enough. Then I find the energy to go a little down the high street to get something from the pharmacy, and then next door to the pharmacy is a charity shop, which I nosy in. Once I'm back, about an hour later, I feel accomplished and slightly more real and sane. I even sit outside with half a glass of cider. That's when my partner gets home from his very hard manual labouring job. I'm screaming inside - you should have seen me this morning! - but instead I say "you caught me", as if enjoying my cider by myself is some sort of crime. But that natural guilty feeling creeps in - as it often does with us women - that when we have those little moments with our heads above water, we should still remain somehow affected by our miseries that came before it, that we are meek, and not worthy of little pleasures. It's just not going to always translate to others, even those closest, that you were feeling half-dead and incapable of basic cookery this morning, when they find you sitting in the sun with a cider, is it? That no, you may not be on your knees right now, but, over the years, you've had to cope with the tiredness that it is basically normal and now your default setting. So I've decided to let it go. And tell you all on here instead. I'm 100% positive that I didn't need to explain it to you! (?!)
Explaining endo fatigue to others - "but ... - Endometriosis UK
Wow. I hear you. I feel all of this so much. Sometimes it feels like no one understands but you clearly do. It sucks but thanks for sharing.
My husband bought a sourdough loaf at the weekend. I had kale and mushrooms 😒 and yet I'm the one with the huge belly?!
I know right?! But beauty is who we are and what we do. Sending out waves of understanding.
Amen sister 😂 know exactly where your coming from when my husband comes home and says why is dinner not done...or the cleaning not done
Hope you feel better soon xxx
and now I'm back on the sofa taking pain killers watching scandi-noir like that burst of energy never happened! Ha!
This is a brilliantly written post - and yep I totally get it!!! You should write a blog 😊
Wowsers you summed that up so well!!!! I'm so lucky, I have a hugely supportive partner but feel it's other people's lack of understanding from a work colleague making me feel guilty about not going to a leaving do (as i think you're an adult you can go yourself!) to after my last lap my mum saying "what? You're still tired?!". Yes everyone is tired sometimes I get that but lucky people if you sleep you generally feel better, if I have 2 hours or 22 hours sleep I still feel like I'm wading through treacle all day. Waaaah this turned into a bit of a rant, sorry about that, but how hard is it to have a little understanding of a condition that affects over a million women in this country 😃. I'm off back to grumpsville 😂😂😂
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