No more fight left in me 😓

I'm sure lots of you share this feeling but I am just feeling so hopeless. I'm so sick of being in pain and feeling unwell and so desperate to get back to work and some kind of normality, and maybe one day even manage to get pregnant! It's not too much to ask is it?

Just don't have the fight in me that is needed to chase up doctors , MRI scans and trying to get the right treatment and people to listen to me. I keep being sent down the orthopedic route when I'm convinced the sciatic pain in my lower back and hips, along with lots of other horrible symptoms is the result of the adhesions on my bowel returning.

Why is it that it looks like the only solution is to get a private appointment, which I can hardly afford, just to get someone to listen?!!! And even then it might be a waste of time as they can't say anything until I have the MRI. Which means I have to spend another month in pain, hardly being able to move, or have sex, or stay awake for longer than a couple of hours. And even after getting the MRI done I will have to wait ages for a follow up with no guarantee of an answer especially when they seem determined to focus on it being an orthopedic problem- despite two different physiotherapists saying it is unlikely, as up until a couple of weeks ago and ending up in hospital on morphone because of the pain, the symptoms were only present when I was on my period.

Feeling fed up, defeated and ignored, and kind of like I'm going mad.

Sorry for the rant xx

6 Replies

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  • Hello,

    Hope your okay,

    I think we all feel the same its horrible, I get pain that bad sometimes i cant move i feel like im going to be sick worst thing is i work shifts at work and if its my day to be at work on my own its very unlikely i can just call in sick, ive been trying for baby 1 for over 6 years now with no luck and im the process of ivf, the pain is horrible i feel since ive had it its ruined my life, its made me moody depressed and no hope for the future, im like you I also had a huge cyst on my bowel and i was told before surgery I may need a colostomy bag but I still went ahead with the surgery because I could cope with the pain, ive had MRI scans as well didnt like these at all, my endo is now growing back as im usually in pain every period now xxx hugs to you stay strong here if u want to talk

  • Thanks for the message Abbie123- I know this is a frustration which we all share. I just feel like there will never be an end to it and it doesn't help when some doctors are so dismissive and make you feel like they're doing you a favour by referring you. Just makes me mad that they have so much control over our health.

    I am going to go back and hopefully see the nice GP this week and just be firm about getting a referral.

    Have you been back to the doctor about the endo growing back?

    Hugs to you too- hope the pain eases soon

    Katie xx

  • Hi hunny,

    it's a terrible feeling when you are so low and you start getting the feelings that it is all too much.... been there so many times hun :( I spent over 18 thousand pound of my savings it was all I had saved since starting my last job which I was in 10 years and last September I had to leave as I had so much time off I didn't want them to fire me so I was given the option of volunteering my notice, now I'm struggling working part time in a flexible job around my endo :( I'm going to try for dla but it doesn't look promising :( stay strong ladies you are so much stronger than you know already x

    if the doctor isn't referring you to a specialist keep going to A & E and pushing them hun never give up x A good start though to help reducing inflammation or pain I found cutting out wheat & gluten really helped and following a paleo diet x

  • I'm getting fed up with the amount of times I go to my gp and my doctor has wrote to gynaecology for me to be seen quicker cause of the pain I'm in and still waiting for a reply herd nothing back so far and getting really fed up now xx

  • It makes me so angry and sad that so many strong, ambitious, vivacious women are left scared, lonely and helpless because of this disease and the ignorance of GPs, and even gynaecologists- who are lucky enough to have never experienced it. More needs to be done to educate the medical profession and teach them to take women seriously.

    Sick and tired of being sick and tired 😞

  • hi im so sorry to hear you feeling like this, how are you feeling today? I read your post today as I am feeling exactly the same, I have no doctor, no gynae and no support whatsoever and am feeling so isolated and alone, no one understand s the pain and all the other pains you get emotional and physical, I'm sitting here ready to give up as nothing seems to make it any better and I want a life not one where I am stuck in doors alone with a hot water bottle for company. It shouldn't be this hard to get help and support for pain and chronic illness. I'm going to try and see if can brave the pain to drive to a talk tonight on eating to manage hormones and see if anything comes out of that and if ties in with endo diet, I tried the gluten dairy free thing but don't think I gave it long enough as got so difficult trying to eat out and others were just getting frustrated with me :( xxx let's stick together girls through this crappy illness... xx any tips or advice on pain management and diet be gratefuly received x

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