I was diagnosed with Endo in 2011 and have had 2 laparoscopy ops, one in 2011, then again in Aug 2012. I've had no symptoms since my last op but I'm starting to be aware more and more that it's returning. I had a 9 month break from pain and mood swings etc before my 2nd op, so it's taken longer this time to show itself again. I've had the odd pain that has made me stop and think, but as it hasn't been as consistent as when it's in full swing, I have been telling myself it's other things causing it.
The biggest issue I'm getting at the moment which I'm really having trouble getting my husband to understand, is my mood swings. I first became aware of them around the time of ovulation and they've not gone away. On a normal month I only get like that in the days leading up to my period starting. Inside I feel so wound up and stressed and the tiniest things make me frustrated and lose patience quickly. I feel angry inside because I'm aware this isn't me and my usual behavior.
Take this morning for example.... I'm walking my 2 little dogs and normally it's a great way for me to relax in the fresh air and running about fields playing with them. Today I was getting more and more frustrated with them on our walk because they were pulling a bit on the lead and barking like mad when we past other dogs. I could feel myself getting more and more angry inside to the point that I thought I was going to burst into tears out in public. Yesterday I had a big row with my husband and even he said to me that last month I was great but doesn't know what the hell is up with me this month. I've tried to express my concerns that I think it's the Endo causing it because it's returning, but I'm sure he thinks it's just an excuse on my part and I get really hurt inside when I feel like he doesn't understand or want to.
We are starting IVF next month and it's been a really stressful year coming to the realisation that this is our only means to conceive (nothing to do with the Endo as the issue is on my husbands side). I finally fell into a happier place and was able to be less stressed and just put my energy into taking care of my body etc in the build up to starting the IVF. I don't know if it's because it's getting closer to that time or what, but I just can't shake this low feeling inside me and the frustration that builds up in me because I can't control it. I feel like a stroppy kid that just wants to have a temper tantrum followed by a long cry, but because I know this isn't me, I fight it and it just builds up inside me.
Is there anything I can do or try that will help me keep calm. I live on a tight budget so treatments and therapies etc isn't really an option for me. I don't want to take pills or things that can affect my body as with starting IVF I don't want to be taking things that could potentially work against me with the IVF etc.
How can I make my husband understand that this isn't me and that I can't help it or control the way IT controls me.
Any advise or suggestions would really be appreciated, thanks.