Hi, needing support...

[ScoobySnack]

Hi all,I'm a newbie here. My alcohol story (in short) is...

Been a heavy drinker most of my adult life (a long time!).

Currently easily doing 70+ units a week.

Mostly drinking at home - lager cans on most nights. Never really been a spirit drinker.

Always have an excuse - work, relationship, family, birthday, bad day / good day...

Always say "I'm giving up tomorrow...."

Don't see the point in having just one drink and on many occasions, just try and drink as much as I can.

Functioning alcoholic I guess.

Have high blood pressure and gout (on medication for both) for which alcohol does not help!

Never get hangovers, but do feel rough the next day after very heavy sessions.

Jeez, that sounds bad reading it back!

I really don't want to give up drink totally as I like the feeling and hope I can drastically cut down, but still have the odd blowout if I can (just being honest!).

I've never really done anything positive to address the problem and joining this forum was a big step for me; so hoping that reading others' stories and having some support from fellow members will finally make a difference for me.

Thanks for reading this (no doubt a very common story!).

ScoobySnack

[Smegmer]

Hi, fella. 70 units are putting you at the physically dependent stage, on the edge. You must cut down. You know this, thats why you are posting.

I got Gastritis and a very long recovery from it on 40Units a week some years ago. Stopped for 2 years. Started drinking pretty moderately again. Then COVID hit and I increased a bit to about 50Units a week. Im now at around 20 units a week.

Like you are alluding to, never ever drinking again is a daunting task. Like I said, I'm on 20 units a week average, but I still see a bit of a binge-type pattern that I don't want to escalate. A good thing to start is a spreadsheet to track EVERY single drink, and be honest. Its a way of starting to take account for what you drink and why. Do you binge ? Why ? Triggers ?

[ScoobySnack in reply to Smegmer]

Thanks Smegmer, I appreciate your thoughts. Every time I drink is a binge, never stop at one. My main trigger is " habit".

[Smegmer in reply to ScoobySnack]

I found that I quite often binge out of boredom or nothing better to do at the time. Mostly weekends. So ive now started a new hobby at the weekends.

You need to keep in mind Alcohols escaltory tendancies. Part of what keeps me under control is the fact my uncle is on 3 bottles of wine a day, I dont want to end up like him. I can live with having a once a month session when I get paid, thats my aim.

[SoberDrunk1]

Welcome to the forum. Honestly, I never could moderate successfuly and that led me to several attempts to stop altogether and that failed too. It was after I was asked to attend AA by my shrink that I came to believe that I am an alcoholic and that only a psychic change can help us stay stopped.

On our own accord, because we have a mind that always tricks us back into picking up a drink. Some reason or the other and then we have a physical craving that forces us to drink more than what we planned originally.

What we have to honestly look at is the mental state of our mind when we attempt stay stopped for a while. Are we at ease? or Are we Constantly thinking about alcohol? If we are not at ease, we term it in AA as "Spiritual Malady", that will cause us to go back to Alcohol and repeat this experiment over and over again.

[ScoobySnack in reply to SoberDrunk1]

Hi, to be honest, at the moment I don't want to hear that my attempts at moderation are doomed to failure. That may put me in the "in denial" camp, but it is my current honest desire.

BTW today will be my third day drink free, with no ill effects and no real cravings, so I see that as a positive

Thanks for your insights.

[SoberDrunk1 in reply to ScoobySnack]

Absolutely. We in Alcoholics Anonymous dont qualify others we generally share our experience. Even in the book they know that problem drinkers do not readly accept the conecpts and that is they recommend the following:

""""We do not like to pronounce any individual as alcoholic, but you can quickly diagnose yourself. Step over to the nearest barroom and try some controlled drinking. Try to drink and stop abruptly. Try it more than once. It will not take long for you to decide, if you are honest with yourself about it. It may be worth a bad case of jitters if you get a full knowledge of your condition."""""

[Joseph46]

Welcome to the group! And thanks for sharing. My experience with alcohol, drinker every day for 20 years… same as you - could not stop at one. Unfortunately I have made some bad choices during that time.

I have depression and anxiety along with OCD and sort of realized in the back of my mind that my drinking was a problem but just kept pushing it aside. However about one year ago I started to accept this was a problem that needed to be addressed. Continuing to drink would lead to worse health outcomes as I age and not to mention the financial impacts.

I began researching alcohol and its effects on the body and how it makes mood issues worse (though during the binge it relieves the negative feelings). But those feelings never go away they are just masked by the alcohol and its effects. So that’s how we end up drinking daily - to escape (my opinion).

I am 9 months no alcohol (I thought I would never see the day to be honest) and to spite the adjustment period - I do not miss it at all.

Have you given much thought as to why you drink ?

[ScoobySnack in reply to Joseph46]

Thanks J46. My excuses for drinking are numerous but the main one is to numb myself from whatever is bothering me no matter how trivial...and some of them really are.

I have a generally good life and not hard up (cost of booze is not an issue).

I'm in relatively good health and swim regularly. I have other hobbies too - but they are outdoor and tail off in the winter, so, coupled with dark nights I'm facing nights at home frequently with drink to pass the time. Clearly that's what I'm aiming to change.

Thanks for your support

[Joseph46 in reply to ScoobySnack]

Hey Scooby, how goes the journey ? I have been meaning to respond to some messages on here but I have been in the middle of a huge move to another city and starting a new job last few weeks. Things are starting to calm down a bit with all the changes. Now in my 10 month with no alcohol and don’t experience any cravings.

Though 6 - 7 weeks ago I did start sertraline (Zoloft) for anxiety and depression and generally speaking to help lift my mood, which I honestly feel has helped regulate my mood (though the move from the hole of a town I lived in to a city certainly contributed to my left in spirits).

Have you been abstaining or moderating ? Just wanted to check in and see how it is going for you ?

[ScoobySnack in reply to Joseph46]

Hi J46, "moderating" I guess...By which I mean managing about 60% of my days drink free. Drinking more than the recommended limit on my drinking days, but I feel generally positive.

Still have to talk myself out of drinking pretty much every night, but no withdrawal symptoms.

I can't foresee a time when I will be teetotal and that's not my aim, but who knows, if I do well it may come naturally...

Good luck in the new home and job. That can be stressful I know and great that you are staying sober.

Thanks for thinking of me 👍😀

[Joseph46 in reply to ScoobySnack]

I attended an education session today for managing people with dementia (it was for my work) — one of the primary reasons I decided to give up alcohol is that excess drinking puts a person at a much higher risk of developing dementia in there 60’s and beyond. That was a big motivator for me. They talked about alcohol over use today as a risk factor. I’ve seen it in my practice and what the “end” will look like if someone drinks excessively throughout there life. But again — for many years I ignored or should say denied to myself that I had alcohol use disorder. I’m honestly surprised how easy it has become to not drink. The thought of going without a drink in the past would cause me a great deal of stress and anxiety just thinking about not having a drink. But honestly it gets easier every day and now I don’t even think about it or crave it. Though I do spend a fair amount of time meditating and practicing mindfulness.

Have you ever tried AA or another type of support group or therapist?

[FatOldMan]

Hi, reading your post, it looks like you could be describing me. My intake before I decided to do something about it was very similar to yours, then I joined this group about18 months ago and started using the Drinkaware app to track my intake. My target was to drink less than 20 units in a week and I have been achieving that regularly even getting below that magical figure of 14 units that the "experts " keep on about.

But here is the cautionary tale about moderating, I have been drinking at crazy levels again for the past couple of weeks without any reason. I have what would be seen as a good life by many but the booze makes me feel depressed and angry about trivial things.

I hope that you are successful but please be mindful of the pitfalls of trying to moderate and be aware that your body and mind will not cope as well as you get older.

Good luck.

[ScoobySnack in reply to FatOldMan]

Thanks FOM, it helps talking to people who've had the same experiences as me. I'm using the Drinkaware app too, to track my progress

[BoopFan]

Hi ScoobySnack, Just wanted to chime in and wish you the best. I am 18 months sober. I tried for years to moderate, but once I started it could not stop. While drunk one night I tumbled down the basement stairs, 6 stitches in my head and a broken wrist. From that time I knew I was in trouble, tried to get serious about cutting back, telling myself, only 4 a day, but 4 turned into 8+. After 5 months of trying, I just stopped. I started drinking NA Beer as I needed the can in my hand.