Looking to open up about my drinking problem

[Journeyman225]

Hi There,

I'm 33 and had an issue with drink for pretty much the last 15 years. I have really struggled to quit and my drinking habit is gradually getting worse. I'm desperate to stop but having real issues sticking to it after a few days.

It's crazy, I feel like I've researched everything there is to know about the issues with alcohol and I'm acutely aware of the impact on my mental health, my weight and my liver but why can't I stop for a long period of time?

Today is a sober day after 5 successive evenings of heavy drinking. I'll take each day as it comes but thought I'd join this group and health unlocked to see if anyone is going through a similar journey.

[SoberDrunk1]

healthunlocked.com/drink-fr...

[Jampacked]

Alcohol is a highly addictive substance those first few days are tough. You need support. There is AA, smart recovery and lots more online or inperson support. I think for me I had to make a date and plan for that date. Making sure I had dealt in advance with any social events that could threaten my sobriety. I told people around who would be supportive what I was doing. Avoided people and events that were triggers. Cut down on alcohol. I planned what I would be doing in those first few weeks to occupy my mind. I was surprised what did trigger me in those first few weeks things I didn't expect. Certain foods, tv programmes, things that triggered negative childhood memories, songs. I am still early doors and have had a few slip ups but on the path. Take a step back, don't be angry with yourself, try and understand yourself and make a plan. If you can see a GP.

[Journeyman225 in reply to Jampacked]

Hey - thanks for your comment and advice. I've put a plan together for the next few weeks to keep my mind occupied - thanks for the tip

My triggers are also varied but I agree certain tv programs are a trigger for me too. How many times do we see somebody pour a glass of wine or spirit in our favourite tv shows!?

I tend to be okay for a few days but then the cravings start up again which is something I need to manage. I read something recently about "fading effect bias" in a book called Alcohol Explained by William Porter (this book is a major factor in me trying to quit again) which really resonated with me. Its where your mind almost forgets negative emotions more quickly than those positive ones. I remember I once heard the term "nostalgia plays tricks on people" - in my case and booze, never a truer word said!

[Jampacked in reply to Journeyman225]

I have cut down dramatically in year 1 with periods of abstinance and have been trying to quit completely since January. Had a large glass of wine on Friday ridiculous stress levels and resolve slipped. It didn't make me feel better folks, just anxious and miserable that night and next day. It also tasted vile as not used to it anymore. So now on day 5.This cutting down and quitting process is now in its second year. I am still listening to podcasts and reading up. I think I always will. Education is so important. I am learning through my mistakes and the guidance and experience of others.

[Jimbo92]

I’m 28 this month and I’m conscious of my alcohol intake. I’m glad to see people are seeing past the stereotype that it’s just older people that can have problems or want to quit. That’s another thing that’s engrained in us when we’re kids, that it’s perfectly fine to get wankered cos you’re young🤣 all these societal norms carry on the stigma and prevent people from coming forward. So well done for asking for help

[Journeyman225 in reply to Jimbo92]

I totally agree and I think that's why when I was in my late teens and early 20's, I didn't think it was such an issue. However, when I was around 22 I started drinking alone much more after long day at work. That's when the problem really started to grow arms and legs. That being said, I think on some level I've always felt I lacked self-control after the first drink.

Thanks for your comment and hope you are doing well

[DicCarlson]

All I know is YOU have a fantastic future ahead of you! You can fumble ahead with the heavy wet blanket of booze smothering your potential - or you can open a door into a crystal sparkling future full of accomplishments and joy. It really is that dramatic - there is no good in alcohol, AT ALL - except the satisfaction of the addiction. Find some good substitutes - NA beer, kombucha. Abandon alcohol activities - bars, parties, etc. Find a good exercise that you like - cycling, running, hiking. “Addiction is an adaptation. It’s not you–it’s the cage you live in.” - Johann Hari, writer

[Journeyman225 in reply to DicCarlson]

Thank you for your support I'm think going to try and plan ahead as much as I can so I know my weekends and evenings are filled. Love the Johann Hari quote

[Orangeskys]

Good luck . I think the problem with us is we know the outcomes, but find it hard to stop. One day at time is the way

[Madigansmom]

Hello my friend. I hope your recovery is going well. I love the idea that was shared regarding making a plan for the first few weeks to help avoid triggers. That is genius. I also know this. I have known myself to have a different response to alcohol than others. I've known this for 30 years. I realized that I had been repeating the same "scene" over and over for 3 decades. While I have quit before, even for years at a time, I always returned to "just 1 won't hurt..". I finally admitted, "it hurts." The game changer for me; joining AA. I don't know why or how, but it literally helps me with cravings. My cravings have less hold. They are not overwhelmingly strong. Many others say the same. The fellowship, the non-judging support of others in my shoes has somehow been a path to peaceful coping for me. You are not to blame for the way a drink interacts with your body chemistry. It's biology...physical. Not 1 of us have the power/ability to change our physical chemistry ... But we can surrender to a higher power and to the support of others. Forgive yourself first. All the knowing it's unhealthy and resisting with all of our might...it can only take us to the next step. Sending positive thoughts that you are led to the path to arrive at your answer. You are "worth the walk.". Please enjoy the journey. 🙂. You are not alone which is for the best.

[Mergee]

How are you doing?