so reflecting on my alcohol use since New Year’s Day…from using these apps I can see patterns emerging. I’m starting to see what is habit (stress, unwinding, dealing with issues ect), what is side effects from using alcohol …so after the 3rd day of not having a drink, though I feel really buzzing that the days are filled more productive, I have a mood crash (4th day) And how…which ever alcohol I chose to use, I consume the same calories to achieve the same high until I’m I am satisfied. …that was starting to increase as time as went on…to , extending past half a bottle of 70cl.
So tonight….I have drunk, I have thought more consciously and tonight I’ve bought a bottle of 35cl and only drunk half…I haven’t left drink in a bottle for a long time and halved my calories!
I’m off to bed feeling satisfied, no one’s journey but my own. Sending only good wishes to all.
Next step…will I tip the half down sink, able to save it in the house or fall fault to drinking it tomorrow?!
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hello again thats great news you have practised and suceeded at controlled drinking which i did last night well i did have alcohol in the house and access but is wasnt mine so i choose to refrain and go to bed sleep well 🌛🌟
Thanks for sharing your reflection. My question to you is on the 4th day, was it involuntary action picking up the drink? Or was it voluntary? It may seem you had a choice. What was your mind set at the beginning of the week? True powerlessness is, you want to stay sober for certain number of days but, the obsession of the mind doesn't allow you to complete the tenure.
I chose to drink. I really understand where you are coming from and have in the past been in that frame of mind. But last night I had intention to drink. I didn’t feel guilty about it …
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maybe I should just try to stop completely then seen how far that ‘challenge’ of the mind takes me. 🧐
I didn’t say to myself, right full week sober for me, I actually looked through my apps and was happy that for now I’m doing the ‘so many days sober’ then have a drink and look at things in terms of ‘being able to put a drink down, how I’m feeling whilst drinking, day after moods ev ect’ ☺️…
good morning you 2 i woke feeling happy i have reached day 5 well tonights not here yet but apaert from the large glass of mulled wine prob 2 units i had monday re the indegestion 🙄i feel the 5th night has come quick and glad my mam was with me at supermarket yesterday or id have had no doubt a full bottle and feel rough, and maby want more tonight, as i feel now im aiming for tonight free and tomorro as many nights as can, i may change my mind but im not even thinking im looking forward to weekend and having drinks then, its easy for me as im restricted of course by living with mam,i want her to be proud of me and think im in control, i was fine last night with the cocoa fancied another lol but couldnt be bothered to make it, i went to sleep more or less straight away,i woke in the night took some pink grapefruit juice up the pure stuff in a carton it helps purify the liver and i luv it, some people cant have it tho if on heart meds, hopefully nothing will throw off my chain of thought and good mood, i havnt done a main post saying im trying to stop drinking etc as as far as im concerned im not alcoholic neither are you too,i read binge drinking is a form of alcoholism but the small amounts they class as a binge like 5 per night would indicate a large amount of people have a problem🤷there always changing whats safe and not, and i change my mind too much about stopping for good,
for now im aiming to be a moderate drinker, couple nights week,it can be a slippery slope for some, under various cercumstances personality types genetics, i suffer from slight health anxiety and i feel its helped me many times get some control back, ill look forward to your next updates, and moon pig i hope you will aim for another 3 nights off until you finish your bottle, its freezing here and im just having another warm tea sending hugs and positive vibres to you both and anyone reading 🤗🌟🌠
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good morning to you also.☺️
Well good on you for your 5th night. It’s your journey hun, I think it’s good that you are even reflecting on yourself like many others. And do what’s right for you!
I felt abit rough today and was gutted because I’ve been enjoying the fresh days.
I’ve tipped the vodka down sink and can honestly say I have never tipped drink away in my life. 😄
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hi moon i edited my message nit sure you read it after lol, sorry you feel rough, thats good you have done that for first time, so its day one again then for you this time yul remember how bad you felt and the bottle going down the drain waisted money couldv been put to better use, dont want to make you feel worst just want you to foccus on this as a means to getting you back on track, and if you do really feel like a drink again please get something weaker i intend to next time i buy any get something im not fussed about, well its a new day onwards and upwards a learning process for you and me too, the only alcohol i tipped away was some arful cheap cider a extra big bottle i couldnt manage and was in the fridge ages ago as i dont bring big bottles cider in mams house, the next day i thought 🤮and threw it out, and opend partial drank cans of lager that id safed sometimes,🙄drink plenty of water or juice today please 🤗
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no not day 1…. I’m not doing the member drink again yet..
I had 5 dry days in first week and 4 days last week…it’s just turning out that the 3 and 4 th day I seem to want drink
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I didn’t drink because I craved it, I drank because I wanted to drink. So this week instead of drinking again the day after…which is how it’s been for ages, I’ll attempt to do the 6 days and so on …
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in the past when i lived at my house before i was under lot of stress my pattern would be after having a binge or 2 many night drinking id try for a few nights off as many as could id manage 2 off years later id manage one off, my drinking esculated as mentioned during a stressful time and as i was drinking mire units re wine most niggts instead of the cans of cider lager, suns out im walking through park and doctors with mam her blood tests due no doubt wel go to supermarket just near there ill see how that effects me i may get bottle pale ale to store i shouldnt be thinking like that🙄
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i aimed for 2 weeks i reached it twice then drank i guess i needed longer 😟click to see full size
i saw this and aimed for it twice recently
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yeah it was interesting to read in the AA site about alcohol can raise its demons 12 month down the line.
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hope i can revert my mindset and habits to how i was when i was on a small lambrini once a week 🤮until real wine led me astray etc although i was a party animal in my 2os i stopped going out and wasnt bothered drinking in house much strange🤮no more lambrini tho im on cocoa tonight i bouggt a goldern beer today dont want it 😴sleep soon 🤪🌟
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sleep well hun ☺️
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thanks you too 🌝
so I tipped the rest of vodka down the sink ! Sorry if you are sick of hearing off me lol
congratulations on your nine days. Of course your emotions are wonky. They don’t know what to do with themselves. When I got sober it was like a roller coaster ride. But not as much fun! Hang in there. You’ll even out
well you have taken a brave step by accessing this group. How do you feel now you have been able to say it someone other than yourself? I’ve got massive relief, so now I feel I can tackle it in a different way…than feeling trapped in own loneliness x
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thats not good that youve had no one to turn to for support outside here, i kept my drinking secret until it got so bad i had to ask for mams help then we went to AA together id have gone back i liked it i could relate to a bit of what nearly everyone said a lot had reformed there lifes a lot still wanted to drink normal like me on off on off stopping starting then binge, i would have gone again if could have 😟sleel now for me 🌟🌛😴
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I’ve only had myself really my whole life. I did reach out to friends along the way but no one took me seriously so the pattern continued and even got worse.
Apparently there’s zooms at AA would u do that? I’m sure someone mentioned it. If not with them there is another organisation called SMART on the NHS site who do group meetings. I’m just not wanting that set up.
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lillyannpuppy off here does it you can ask her if you fancy it, im foccusing on cutting down not stopping so as AA is for people who want to stop its not for me at moment, i dont have the devices to do zoom meets anyway and as i mentioned i wouldnt want my mam thinking i had a priblem like before we realused back then im not a alcoholic but i think was perhaps on brink of it, i never had any withdrawal effects when i stopped for 3 months like a alcoholic would i just felt bit agitated and craving for sugar i eat lot sweets then for a while and none alco drinks, the time i stopped when i was 5o i hadnt drink issues then and stopped easy few months because of a problem with my colon been inflamed i cut out almost all food too, the culprit seemed to be extra mature chedder cheese high bacteria, its a bit of a mystert one off ulcerative colitis i went down to 8 half stone sorry if repeating some i know i mentioned bits before, i just been shops was going to get a small bottle beer again still got last one lol but forvot my shopping bag and mam was with me so i didnt bother, im not having great day i woke up almost in tears after reflecting on how bad i was few years back and thinking back to how my mood was in my old house coping with ptsd and my dads death etc i had a nightmare about the black beatles too that had appeared again they nested in the loft got trapped in when i took the hatch off one summer, it became my house of horrors and bad memories i had blanked out about the rats etc and my drinking,im just over sensitive, i felt like having some cider today, a couple other things upset me too, its not always easy living in someone elses house i miss not having my own place and having it how i want buying nice things for it, my headaches bad too, sorry for the moan i want my indelendance back 😟🤗
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I only mentioned that because you said you have gone again if you could and said in previous messages about being able to go.
Don’t worry about sharing how You feel. That’s what group is here for, I think! I get that about living in someone’s else house and having your own space.
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well i will be back to been a naughty teenager tomorror as its weekend and i shall have a few drinks even if it means sneeking them in 😟have a peaceful night nearly my cocoa time 😟😂
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hi again! Long post alert sorry 😞 
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Moderation, not an option for me. 
Hi, I’m G and I am an alcoholic 
