reflection since New Year’s Day

so reflecting on my alcohol use since New Year’s Day…from using these apps I can see patterns emerging. I’m starting to see what is habit (stress, unwinding, dealing with issues ect), what is side effects from using alcohol …so after the 3rd day of not having a drink, though I feel really buzzing that the days are filled more productive, I have a mood crash (4th day) And how…which ever alcohol I chose to use, I consume the same calories to achieve the same high until I’m I am satisfied. …that was starting to increase as time as went on…to , extending past half a bottle of 70cl.

So tonight….I have drunk, I have thought more consciously and tonight I’ve bought a bottle of 35cl and only drunk half…I haven’t left drink in a bottle for a long time and halved my calories!

I’m off to bed feeling satisfied, no one’s journey but my own. Sending only good wishes to all.

Next step…will I tip the half down sink, able to save it in the house or fall fault to drinking it tomorrow?!

[SoberDrunk1]

Thanks for sharing your reflection. My question to you is on the 4th day, was it involuntary action picking up the drink? Or was it voluntary? It may seem you had a choice. What was your mind set at the beginning of the week? True powerlessness is, you want to stay sober for certain number of days but, the obsession of the mind doesn't allow you to complete the tenure.

[Hidden]

I chose to drink. I really understand where you are coming from and have in the past been in that frame of mind. But last night I had intention to drink. I didn’t feel guilty about it …

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

maybe I should just try to stop completely then seen how far that ‘challenge’ of the mind takes me. 🧐

I didn’t say to myself, right full week sober for me, I actually looked through my apps and was happy that for now I’m doing the ‘so many days sober’ then have a drink and look at things in terms of ‘being able to put a drink down, how I’m feeling whilst drinking, day after moods ev ect’ ☺️…

[Hidden]

good morning to you also.☺️

Well good on you for your 5th night. It’s your journey hun, I think it’s good that you are even reflecting on yourself like many others. And do what’s right for you!

I felt abit rough today and was gutted because I’ve been enjoying the fresh days.

I’ve tipped the vodka down sink and can honestly say I have never tipped drink away in my life. 😄

[Hidden]

so I tipped the rest of vodka down the sink ! Sorry if you are sick of hearing off me lol

[Hidden]

no not day 1…. I’m not doing the member drink again yet..

I had 5 dry days in first week and 4 days last week…it’s just turning out that the 3 and 4 th day I seem to want drink

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

I didn’t drink because I craved it, I drank because I wanted to drink. So this week instead of drinking again the day after…which is how it’s been for ages, I’ll attempt to do the 6 days and so on …

[LilyAnnepuppy Ambassador]

congratulations on your nine days. Of course your emotions are wonky. They don’t know what to do with themselves. When I got sober it was like a roller coaster ride. But not as much fun! Hang in there. You’ll even out

[Hidden]

well you have taken a brave step by accessing this group. How do you feel now you have been able to say it someone other than yourself? I’ve got massive relief, so now I feel I can tackle it in a different way…than feeling trapped in own loneliness x

[Hidden]

yeah it was interesting to read in the AA site about alcohol can raise its demons 12 month down the line.

[Hidden]

🙏 thanks

[Hidden]

sleep well hun ☺️

[Wish3]

That sounds like a good idea & so great how self aware you are ! Well done 👍

[Hidden in reply to Wish3]

😊 I tipped the other down sink next day and not bought any again.

[Hidden]

I’ve only had myself really my whole life. I did reach out to friends along the way but no one took me seriously so the pattern continued and even got worse.

Apparently there’s zooms at AA would u do that? I’m sure someone mentioned it. If not with them there is another organisation called SMART on the NHS site who do group meetings. I’m just not wanting that set up.

[Hidden]

I only mentioned that because you said you have gone again if you could and said in previous messages about being able to go.

Don’t worry about sharing how You feel. That’s what group is here for, I think! I get that about living in someone’s else house and having your own space.

[Hidden]

if it’s half open It would go past being able to drink anyways. Good on you! 😊